[Cyanide] [Stable Blog] Blue Thunder (Terror Island League)

[Captain Thorrek]

That was a real fun nail biter of a game! The first half swung back and forth like a pendulum. Now for tonight's game:

Schlitz's Wee Nuts (Halfling) vs. War Waltzers (Wood Elf) 0-2
Match Rating:

Losses don't get much more fun than this! I started with over 530 in inducements. I grabbed a master chef, team wizard, and a star player. Now for halflings, or those teams who can hire her out, I think Zara is the best for her money, unlike some others I could mention (glances at Headsplitter).

With three treemen on the field, we picked my Kite Eating-Tree to take root first, which he did. There was utter mayhem on the team, but only two badly hurts and Sally got eaten by his treeman when she tried to dodge out (he must have read her nutritional information). One of my favorite parts was when I got up to blitz one of his players with a tree, he got up, failed the go for it to block and fell back down!

All my inducements worked great. Zara proved her worth again, my master chef swiped two rerolls each half, and my wizard fireballed his treeman down for a couple turns.

As far as scoring goes, I came to one square away from scroring with this team, twice! Keep in mind this is a fresh out the donut shop team. They got KO'd both times, but I didn't expect them to get that close.

Great match, and only one more to go before the bowl game.

[sasjhwa]

The Wee Nuts did a good job holding a pretty good Wood Elf team. AG 4 was not friendly to me for part of the game but other than that the rolls were pretty even handed. He was great at dodging and always in my way. I thought fireballing the treeman was a bad idea when he did it (also a War Dancer in its range) but the mighty oak was stuck on his back for 3 turns so it actually did him good.

I admit he did a great job for a novice team. But wait until da Big Waaaghers stomp yer Wee lil Nuts, Schlitz!

[Captain Thorrek]

Warpstone Whack-a-Moles (skaven) vs. Sick Leave (Nurgle): 2-1
Match Rating:

I thought I was going to get annihilated, but this turned out to be one of the best nail biters we played to date. My speed really helped this match for me, as Sasjhwa's disturbing pressence did for him. Surprising there was only two casualties all game, despite how bloodthirsty it got. One was a BH on a linerat, the other was a serious concussion I apo'ed out to BH on my Gutter Runner who tripped. The first half was a little bit of give and take, with one of my storvermin getting a TD, after Sajhwa got one. The second half became a real frantic scramble for the ball, but keeping my gutter in the offensive zone helped and on my turn 15 ran him out so he couldn't be caught, but not going for it to risk losing it all (I have a nasty habit of getting KO'd in the opponent red zone by doing that). Post game I got 60K and my storvermin who scored got claw (though I debated with horns). Great game!

This ends the regular season, next entry will be my result for the intrigue playoffs between chaos, khemri, and skaven.

[sasjhwa]

That was definitely one of our funner games. Neither of us could break enough armor to get the man advantage over our foes.

I only pulled 20k for the loss giving me 50k in savings. I doubled into Leader for one of my Pestigors. I debated strength or Pass but figured Leader was more useful more often and my team burns through rerolls as fast as I can get them.

[sasjhwa]

Red Stable Intrigue.

The six coaches in the red stable's locker room might as well have been warriors on the battlefield the tension was so thick. Achjoo, the Lord of Pestilence and Santaraina, the high elf sleighmaster had already come to blows. Only the non-violence spells cast on the room kept them from doing more than bloodying each other's noses.

Bongar, the human owner of the red stable (and his brute squad, the remains of last season's G.I. Joegers) cleared half of the coaches from the room. Only the human, orc, and Amazon coaches remained when the dust cleared. Santaraina had briefly wondered how the ogres were able to break so many bones with the anti-violence spell in place but a broken jaw shut him up quickly.

Bongar was a veteran of the Storm of Chaos and had led his Questing Knights on dozens of charges against the armies of Chaos, even slaying one of their greatest monsters in single combat. For this he was known as Bongar the Giant Killer. No one dared challenge the authenticity of his tale.

The stable owner crushed out his cigar and rubbed the three day stubble on his chin. "Okay, here is the story from the head office. They are changing the playoffs yet again."

A round of boos and curses went up among the coaches. Prophet Bonaventure, the reclusive owner of Terror Island where the league played was renowned for changing the rules at the last minute.

"What is it this time?" Baughb the Brutal looked a bit silly, hanging in a large baby pack on the belly of his pet ogre Lou. He had lost his legs at the knee to the same giant that Bongar had slain. "Do we all have to play in the buff or covered in cheese or something?"

"Not quite, Baughb. The playoffs have been cancelled altogether."

Madam Frellarka asked, "So the Bashing Beauties are just out of contention for the Horror Cup? Just because? Is Bonaventure afraid of women?"

Bongar sighed. He had to go through this every time the Amazons didn't get their way. Madam Frellarka was convinced that Bonaventure hated women because he hadn't accepted her invitation to a too private dinner when she had arrived on the island. "My dear Frellarka. Your Bashing Beauties are in third place in our stable. Killa Crusha, your Big Waaagh orcs are in second and Baughb, Mabel's Pub Crawlers are in first. I'm actually disappointed in all of you. Blue stable's Sandstorm Sting Chiggers are ahead of us in points. I want to win the cup and send them back to pyramid paradise in pieces."

"Humans aren't in big game? Who is?" Bongar was always amazed at the level of bass in the black orc's voice.

"I have been commanded to pick one team to play. Given injuries and deaths it is no certainty that the team in first place is our best team and Bonaventure wants to see the best. Since he is a High Priest of Nuffle we do as he commands. I'll be waiting in my office for the best coach to deliver his or her playbook. Good luck." Bongar snapped his fingers and the torches flickered green for a moment. He stomped out and slammed his office door.

For a brief moment Madam Frellarka, Killa Crusha, and Baughb the Brutal stood in stunned silence. Then the realization that the protective spells had been lifted sunk in. In the flash of Amazonian blades the still was broken along with both of Killa Crusha's hamstrings. As he went down he grabbed the front of Baughb's carry pouch and tore him from Lou the ogre's chest, tossing him aside. Frellarka continued to slice up the orc coach, taking large pieces of flesh from his back and legs, to little effect. After falling under the initial blows the orc rose to his feet with a mighty roar. It took three days to remove Frellarka's body from where it had been crushed through the stone floor.

Killa Crusha roared his victory, then stopped. An orc with his experience can sense danger even when fast asleep. He turned and found his face a hair breadth from the ogre's chest. Lou roared, even louder than Killa Crusha. In his left hand he held the harness that had been ripped from his chest. Baughb sat grinning on the floor. "Lou. Dinnertime."

***

Baughb always liked Bongar's beaten up sofa. He reclined with a glass of 400 year old dwarven whiskey. Bongar clinked glasses with him. "I knew it would pay to make that ogre of yours an assistant coach. Mabel is going to be thrilled her Pub Crawlers made it into the Horror Bowl."

Baughb laughed. "He has come in handy ever since the war. You remember what the lance's motto was after he killed that giant you take so much credit for?"

Bongar and Baughb downed their whiskeys. Together they shouted, "Never bring a knife to an ogre fight!"

[Gallows Bait]

Really enjoy reading this log, you both give it such a strong narrative and I think its a really clever way of enjoying the game with a small group and allowing a depth and interest to build up to enhance the game.

[Captain Thorrek]

Thanks Gallows, glad you're enjoying it. It's been a real blast to do. For the Terror Bowl, we're doing it the old fashioned way... the way we had it when it was on the website. I'm saving the match rating and final scores for a special post game entry.
******

King Badmisstep, coach of the Sandstorm Sting-Chiggers paced about the locker room. His team worked hard, resulting in the best record in the league. Everything needed to go perfectly. For once Chirpy didn't steal the ball during practice, thank Nuffle. He liked his tomb scorpion mascot, but it was a handful at times.

A cough, like parchment scratching up against itself, sounded behind the ancient coach. He paused from steeping his burial wraps and turned to see Liche Priest Lottarum waiting with the desert's patience.

"My king, all is prepared. I tried to get information regarding the playoff changes, but all Captain Thorrek could seem to say is 'Arrr' or 'Belay that'. I left the silly creature to its own devices."

"Then, we must ensure we are the only team in contention. Use the other teams weaknesses against them; mortals are easily duped and with their foolishness won't realise our conspiracy." The king wrapped his steeped bandages around his royal person, dripping from the triple strength coffee with a shot of hazelnut they absorbed... just the way he liked it.

"I already attended to the matter, my king. There were but two who could attend the Final. Udder Chaos!! heard, from a mortal in our employ, it was 'Ladies Night' at The Pasture, a popular haunt among them. The cows are busy getting milked as we speak. Our skaven colleagues have been informed of a giant mole population growing under the stadium. Knowing their fears, they should vacate the tournament altogher."

"Well done! The mortals are too gullable for their own good." He might need to steep his bandages again before the match. Come to think of it, a short rest might do his regal countenance some good. Yes, a nap in his sarcophagus should be fine. A failed attempt to stifle a yawn heralded his resting period.

"Make sure the team practices hard, and keep Chirpy away from the ball." Badmisstep dozed before his sarcophagus shut.
* * * * *
Tsaite Wring, Gutter Runner for the Warpstone Whack-a-Moles, cackled as he stalked back to his own team's locker room. The dead things were too stupid-stupid to think the other teams would try similar tactics against them. Too stupid-stupid to notice he switched their coffee to decaf. Giant, talking moles? That's just crazy...

Time to get kitted up for the Terror Bowl!

Roll (d20)
Khemri: 11
Chaos: 13
Skaven: 19

[sasjhwa]

That is awesome. That caffeine addiction will get you every time. So the game is Mabel's Pub Crawlers vs. the Warpstone Wack-a-Moles. That will be a VERY interesting game.

For those reading, we like to throw a little intrigue into the games. Captain Thorrek and I both play a stable of 6 teams who cooperate for the betterment of the stable sometimes and sabotage each other at other times. For the playoffs this season we decided to take the top three teams in each stable and decide randomly which was clever enough to climb on top of its stablemates to claim a spot in the trophy game. So even though the humans and khemri are the number 1 and 2 teams in the league the Khemri were not smart enough to avoid their ratty stable mates' treachery and so lost their spot in the big game.

[Captain Thorrek]

This should be a great game, I'm coming into it with no predictions other than it's going to be a lot of fun. With the close of the regular season, my Yellow Snow Tribe (Orcs) rotate in and the Sting-Chiggers, out. They're based on my Savage Orc Army in WHFB, led by a shaman who partook of "Mork's elixir" and now leads a group of like-minded whackos!

...

You might want to stay away from their slushee cart at halftime...

[Captain Thorrek]

Terror Cup Final:
Warpstone Whack-a-Moles(skaven) vs. Mabel's Pub Crawler's(Human) 1-3
Match Rating:

Nuffle just took a dump on my team. I know there was supposed to be the old color commentary like on the website but this game angered me to the point where I wouldn't be able to do it right. It would not let me get anything done, apart from one touchdown. In the first half alone, I had two player deaths, one apo'd from death, to death. In the last half a blizzard came and it almost seemed like the game was trying for Sasjhwa to get the fourth touchdown! He's a good coach; I can't play against him AND Nuffle and hope to get anything out of this. To add insult to injury, I only got 10K for gold. If I had been rolling the dice, instead of the computer, things would've gone differently... simple as that.

I looked forward to this bowl game and it turned out to be a major disappointment. My gutter skilled up to get catch, and I bought another linerat and thrower to replace two of the three players that got killed. Maybe next final I'll have enough fun from it to do the whole nine yards... wasted an hour on a pregame entry to I don't even have the heart to put up now.