Orc [BC] ORCIAD: The Eporc Saga

[TravelScrabble]

Lovely report LW, sounds like a frustrating game though. Did you rush the offense a bit in the second half? You should have been aiming for an 8 turn grind really.

 

[Landwaker]

Guess so TS, though I thought re-positioning the cage was the safest course at that time. It likely would have been fine if the gobbo had made his simple dodge or I had just left him marking, but the sequence of siggy's score there was still so improbable (maybe not so much if you actually crunch the numbers, but it seemed so watching it). I tend to get worried about forward progress on offense and grab for the yardage when I think it's a reasonable risk. I still think it was, despite the outcome.

In any event, Gutter Runners are now my nemeses; they have dodged and scurried off the top of the grudge list and onto an entirely new list, entitled "KILL 'EM ALL!"

 

[skullashtray]

put a bounty out on them i play him next

 

[Landwaker]

Bounty issued! Go get 'em

 

[Midros]

GRs or elves with dodge are indeed pretty hard to keep locked in position even double marking has a 83ish % chance of getting out so it can be annoying. Just remember when that double 1 hits the rest of the rats are most likely out of position and will geta beating. Tough luck though hopefully the orcs get a better result next time!

 

[Landwaker]

"Dissiz Brunt Goreball wit Reel Sporcts Snotwork, bringin' ya upfollowin' cov'rage o' Da Orciad's tird match in Averland. Hoo boy it wuz a stinka too, Coach Looney was even worse dan b'fore an' looked right wobbly on da lineside. Ol' Brunt knows overhangin' like nuttin' else, and dis one looked a doozey. Da boyz wuz damn lucky to get dat draw, but dey're still way down in the div'sion. Looney wuzn't talkin' wit me aftaward, but in a Reel Sporcts supa 'sclusive I 'ave got my 'ands on [snotlings shrieking] hrmph, wit some help from da cam'ra crew, ya noisy gits, I 'ave got my 'ands on Coach Looney's secret notes! Dose CabalVision chowda-clowns don't got dis! 'Ere we go!

Landwaker's Log, Bowl Date 1.A-M.2506
The Orciad is back to 8th place in the Big Crunch, damnation. The worst of it is I can't blame anyone but me for the third match; we had a good shot going in against low-level Chaos and I flubbed it entirely by being too tired and hungover to clearly read the options or correctly call the plays. A top-four finish is still possible, but looking less and less likely. Damnation.

Meanwhile The Phantom Lords are doing well in the Crunch Cup and should make the playoffs barring double disasters. Coaching two teams side-by-side has definitely been a stretch in terms of time and focus, and sometimes I feel like the undead have hogged all the luck and left the eporcs with ill fortune. And then there's the elven experiment ... but I won't discuss that here.

Anyway, the season's still salvageable. Besides keeping myself clear-headed, I know what I need to do. First,

'Ey! Ya gits, where's da next page! [snotlings shrieking] Graaah, c'mere ya lil' [transcript ends]"

 

[Landwaker]

"Dissiz Brunt Goreball wit Reel Sporcts Snotwork, and I'm broke dammit! Coach Looney and 'iz Orciad boyz wuz lookin' so bad I tought it wuzza sure ting to bet ev'ryting 'gainst 'em, 'specially witta expert coach on da udder side. But dey won, graaah! 'Ere to 'splain dis cat'straphony is Diorcmedes, da big boss o' da black boyz, in a Reel Sporcts 'sculsive first Orciad player interview:

BG: So wot da 'ell happened wit dis match?
D: We seek a newer world, beyond the sunset and the baths of all the western stars, one equal temper of heroic hearts, to strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.
BG: ... Wot?
D: Dunno, just sometin Coach sez a lot.
BG: Hrmph. Wot else did ol' Looney say t'day?
D: Said hit you in da head.
BG: Wait, w-- [crunch]

---

KK: Ah, this is the high elf unwillingly known as 'Kit-Kit,' stepping in for Mr. Goreball, who has been rendered unconscious during his player interview. I'm here with Coach Landwaker. Greetings sir.
LW: Howdy Kit-Kit. You said Brunt's still out?
KK: Yes indeed, sir. In point of fact, he seems to be completely comatose.
LW: Really? I told Diorc just a hit to the head.
KK: It appears that one hit was one too many, sir. Mr. Goreball was removed from the Orcland Raiders roster last year after several severe concussions and a fractured skull.
LW: Yikes. I didn't realize.
KK: Surely you noticed his strangely-shifting speech patterns and apparently-arbitrary and inconsistent inflections?
LW: Well sure, I ... wow, I actually feel sort of sorry. So what happens now?
KK: In simple terms, sir, Reel Sporcts Snotwork is now functionally defunct. [snotlings shrieking] No, you evil imps, you cannot silence me now.
LW: It's rather remarkable how they scribble down their shrieking while they do it.
KK: Quite. If I may be so bold, sir, I implore you to reconsider the removal of my chain.
LW: You know what, Kit-Kit? I'm in a good mood today and I feel like I maybe gave the team some bad karma when I didn't help you before, so sure.
KK: Thank you, Coach.
LW: Hey, Horcse! Come break this chain! [troll grunting, chain breaking, snotlings shrieking] There you go.
KK: At long last! You have my gratitude.
LW: No problem, Kit-Kit.
KK: Ah, if you must use an abbreviated appellation, Coach, can you please make it simply Kit?
LW: Fair enough, Kit. What will you do now?
KK: Return to Ulthuan, naturally. My family and friends have no doubt been extremely concerned.
LW: Yeah ... you sure about that? You got your name out there quite well in our first interview last month, but I haven't seen any family and friends riding to the rescue.
KK: I ... I am sure they merely ... I had not considered that. But still, I must return immediately.
LW: If you say so. Safe travels.
KK: My eternal gratitude to you, and farewell ... if I may inquire, what will become of Mr. Goreball and the snotlings?
LW: Hmm. Well, if Brunt doesn't wake up, maybe I can get Porcris the drummer to feed him now and then, we'll see. As for the snots ... well, Horcse is always hungry. [snotlings shrieking]
KK: You ... they will be eaten?
LW: I don't have any need or affection for them. I'm frankly surprised you're upset about it, Kit.
KK: Well, yes, they were my captors, but ... we have spent so much time bickering over these transcripts, I ... I rather enjoyed editing them ... I do not want them to die. And Mr. Goreball ... he treated me well enough, I suppose, under the circumstances ...
LW: Look, Kit, seems to me you don't have much waiting for you back on the island. And I was thinking of switching to CabalVision anyway, so you'd have the inside track on getting a correspondent contract with them. That way you can stay and take care of Brunt and the snots, and I can get continuing coverage of my team from a more favorable viewpoint with easier speech patterns.
KK: ... Stay? I do not ... I [snotlings shrieking] fine, yes, I will make an attempt at it.
LW: Excellent. Oh, one friendly note at the outset of our new arrangement.
KK: Yes?
LW: If any of you calls me 'Looney' or steals from my log again, I'll have Horcse eat all of you.
KK: ... Duly noted, Coach.
LW: Good. So, shall we discuss the match?
KK: Ah, certainly, certainly. Ready, you little beasts? [snotlings shrieking] Ahem ... this is Kithmornen Kavavanlhun, prospective CabalVision correspondent, bringing you--
LW: Wait, wait.
KK: Ah, yes?
LW: Look Kit, the full name just won't cut it with CabalVision. You need something short and snappy, three syllables tops. Kit Kavav, that's catchy.
KK: Kavav?
LW: It can symbolize your new beginning or whatever. Just think of it as a stage name.
KK: Stage name? Hmm, yes, I did do quite a bit of theatre in my 600s...
LW: Great, let's start back at the top.
KK: Ahem. This is Kit Kavav, CabalVision correspondent-to-be, bringing you in-depth post-match coverage of the Orciad's successful fourth match in the Averland division of the Big Crunch league. I'm here with Coach Landwaker to discuss his team's first victory of the second season. Coach, first off I must offer my condolences on the fiery death of Patorclus the lineorc.
LW: Thanks Kit. It was a hard thing to watch him fry out there; I had kept the cage tight because I wanted to tempt the wizard out of the way early, but that was quite the fireball. It was just too early to use the apo though, so I had to let him go. It's a shame, because with just a bit more experience I think he could have made much more of his potential. But if that was the price of victory, so be it. His name will live on.
KK: Indeed. After that fireball, though, your drive seemed to stall out in the midst of the J-Dawgs' defensive swarm.
LW: Yeah, those guys really know how to support each other, which makes sense given that the whole team apparently has the same name. We held our own with the bashing but still weren't making up enough ground, so as soon as we got a slim opening I sent the carrier through and hoped they'd fail a couple of simple dodges. Never an ideal play, but we came close to the score nonetheless.
KK: Your shifting defensive formation to open the second half seemed hesitant yet functioned as something of a bait-and-switch. How much of that was deliberate?
LW: Keen observation there, Kit. I do tend to be indecisive about how much to change when I get the chance to perfect my defense, and in that instance when I moved the scrimmagers over towards the ball I initially forgot that it left my goblin and thrower exposed, but then as I started to run out of time, I decided that perhaps that exposure would draw some of his players in so I could take an admittedly-risky run at the ball.
KK: Yes, you ensnared the catcher but it seemed a tenuous enclosure; if the ogre had not lost his wits at that moment, they might well have broken through the middle of the screen, as we have seen before.
LW: You're right. Look, Juriel is a better coach than me, so even with the team value advantage I knew I would have to try some risky plays to have a chance. The fates were favorable today, what more can I say.
KK: Indeed. In the final minutes your players had the run of the pitch and could safely stall it out, but I did note that while they were repeatedly stunning their opponents, they failed to knock out or injure them.
LW: True, that was a tinge on the win. We definitely need to do more work in the damage department. But still, we needed a 'W' on the board, and we got it.
KK: Congratulations. Before we go, any thoughts on the rest of season?
LW: We've got many more wizards in our future, along with elves and amazons. We both know dodgy opponents have been a bane for us, but we'll do what we can. Seventh place is still far down, and I'm not assuming anything, but today we're headed in the right direction and everything is looking better than it was.
KK: Very much agreed, Coach. This is Kit Kavav, presumably with CabalVision, signing off."

 

[Landwaker]

The loss of my second lineorc has me reconsidering my defensive setup; apparently it's considered standard to have two lineorcs on the LOS with the troll when kicking. I've avoided that setup (instead using the unskilled BOs) because I've wanted my throwers on the pitch to collect the ball. But their AV8 is a decided liability, and with two AG4 blitzers I think I will add Patorclus II and Porcris II. What's another 50K in TV when the gap is already 500K?

 

[Remthar]

Great interviews Land, and grats on the win!

 

[Nikolai II]

Quite magnificent interviewing art indeed, good job

 

[TravelScrabble]

I think you're right, you don;t need the thrower on defense. Fantastic blog and amazing victory, hope it helps turn the season round, promotion is still possible.

 

[Landwaker]

Oof, let's get this over with. The stress-to-fun ratio with this team has gotten way out of whack; I was too wound up going into the decisive match last night to win it. Losing sleep over losing a game isn't healthy. So, measures to be taken:

(1) Fluff hiatus till next season. When I start feeling that I'm disappointing my digital playing pieces, it's time to take a step back. Spending hours composing and compulsively editing the fluff entries isn't helpful in this regard, so I'll take a break and start fresh next season (out of ideas for the interview angle anyway).

(2) Going with the gut. I still do far too much second- and third-guessing for four-minute turns. A good example from the miserable last match is my instinct to get the tree down; if I had stuck with it beyond the first failed foul, maybe I wouldn't have been denied half the pitch and forced to the side in back-to-back drives. Right or wrong, I need to commit to a choice, execute it, and learn from it, rather than trying to weigh all the options, running out of time, and guaranteeing failure. I said this in the first post but it remains my primary problem, so I'll put the baseline at getting all moves done before the timer turns over.

(3) Goals for the remaining matches. With promotion out of the picture, I'll set some concrete objectives for the rest of this season: getting the last level 2 blitzer to level 3 and if feasible getting the AG4 blitzers within a MVP of level 4, with lineorcs as next priority; I want at least one DP, maybe both, with guard on doubles (having completed the tackle program, guard is the next skill focus).

There we go. Match summaries below.

Match Day 5: A win is a win, but beating a guy in his fifth Cyanide match ever with a 500+ TV advantage isn't something to crow about.

Match Day 6: As mentioned, I cracked under pressure and couldn't keep up with the clock.

 

[TravelScrabble]

Sounds sensible LW, I'll always be an Orciad fan win, lose or draw so at least there's that, looking forward to following their exploits next season.

 

[jounisii]

Now I kinda feel bad. I've enjoyed reading your blog, but sometimes 1 has to re-evaluate things. That said, I'm still hoping that you'll still keep producing some fluff, caus' they're hilarous to read

 

[Midros]

I also greatly enjoy reading the match fluff LW! Have a good break from it though and hopefully you'll come back fresh and get some nice results too

 

[akirilus]

I ended up spectating your game, and I totally get what you mean about the pressure of winning - it seems that whenever you really want to win a game, the dice go to shit and decision making deteriorates.

The one comment I was going to make was about the elf tree. It's an annoying piece that has MB and forces you to duck around it. That having been said, you need at least 3 players (as orcs) to get a 1d block against it. 2 if you are willing to trust the troll with a 1d block... So by merely attacking it, you are letting it do it's job, which is to suck up your players and get them out of position. Plus it has Stand Firm / AV 10 - so you are not getting rid of it, unless it repeatedly fails to stand up (which definitely CAN happen, but not guaranteed to - it can just as easily stand up 4 times in a row).

All that aside, the tree has an excellent built-in mechanism for taking itself out of a drive - Take Root. As soon as that happens, it becomes immobile until either the possession ends or it's knocked down. All you have to do then is disengage. However, blocking it to the ground removes the penalty, allowing it to move upon standing up (provided it doesn't immediately take root again, of course). So the moral of the story here, from my perspective, is don't ever block a tree that has already taken root, unless there is an absolute imperative to do so (for instance, it has the ball... that DOES happen, believe it or not). Otherwise, you are much better off just dodging away, and letting the tree sit where it is, unable to do anything to you until the next kickoff.

My other comment would be - don't expose the ball, but you probably already know that. When you passed on turn 7, you allowed the elves a free 2d blitz at the ball carrier, as opposed to simply having a couple receivers in range and hiding your thrower behind the line. The wardancers may have been able to get to him, but he has sure hands, and they would need to make a lot of rolls happen to engineer the blitz. The pass allowed him to take a 2d blitz for free, with a strip baller.

Same thing happened in the second half - you could have re-formed the cage while taking free hits on AV7 players marking you, but instead you chose to run a player with no dodge or sure hands into an area where a Strip Ball wardancer could get an easy blitz on him. That is an almost guaranteed loss of ball (8/9 chance the ball is on the ground, 80/81 if a RR is used on the block).

I think you probably already know that, though. Your orcs look solid, with some well-developed black ocrs. You can and will do well!

 

[Landwaker]

Thanks fellas. Usually I can find the balance between striving to win and enjoying the ride, but for some reason I really psyched myself out last match. Already over it and getting ideas for a new fluff approach, but some recharge time will still be good. Onward!

 

[Nikolai II]

Onward!

Never give up. Never surrender.

 

[Landwaker]

By Grabthar's hammer, let's get caught up.

MD7 against Wallbanger's zons was a fairly smooth offensive execution, as I kept my team together and slowly ground down the pitch with only a couple of errors. On defense he bunched up in the center and I decided to try encirclement; he slipped through the weaker side and probably would have scored with a couple better rolls. But towards the end my strength, guard and tackle gave me the run of the pitch.

Have to laugh about MD8 against glazzy's orcs; I fell victim to the sort of nigh-impossible eporc passing play that I pulled off more than once last season. I had his thrower in two or three tacklezones, he had nowhere to throw except far across the pitch, I had an interceptor in the open, it was pouring rain ... I was about to type "Worth a try!" but then the 6s came rolling in and I could only send "...wow" Defense was better than offense this time, as my first-half drive fell apart into a scramble with some hasty calls (and glazzy leaving prone guys down in front me, effective barriers) which culminated in Aenorcas failing his GFI into the endzone. This was also my first game against other orcs with this team and I confess I lost some time double-checking who was who. Their AV9 was annoying too. Classic case of counting your SPPs before you earn them, as I expected at least 2 TDs from this match. Oops.

Speaking of SPPs, let's talk specific player progression plans as we look ahead to Season 3:

#1) Orchilles, blitzer with Tackle and +AG (needs 7). He was always meant to be one of my killers (naturally); the stat gain had me hesitating but because Aenorcas also got AG I think it's fine to keep him on that track and get MB as the next normal; won't hurt to have a killer who can get around a bit better and handle the ball if needed. Dodge is tempting on doubles but I think JU should still come first.

#2) Orcdysseus, blitzer with Tackle (needs 3). He was supposed to score against glazzy, but whenever he levels he'll get Guard barring further stat sidetracks. Doubles probably DT.

#3) Hectorc, blitzer with Mighty Blow and Tackle (needs 5). Doing damage has served him well and he'll continue with PO on normal, JU on doubles.

#4) Aenorcas, blitzer with +AG and Tackle (needs 4). I think Guard on normal, though Strip Ball has some appeal. Probably Dodge on doubles.

#5-8) The Black Orcs. They're all on the Block>Guard>MB track, with Diorcmedes done at 31 and Menelorcus still at 0. Not much to do here except keep blocking, but I'll try to give one the ball if I get a safe option.

#9) Agamemnorc, thrower with Block and Dodge (needs 10). I don't see him leveling soon, but I'd probably take Leader over Fend. On doubles it'd be hard to deny him Strong Arm again, especially with two AG4s to toss to, but Sure Feet may still be smarter, we'll see.

#10) Patorclus II, lineorc with 7 spp (normal skill pending). I'd like to try a Wrestle guy but I'm unsure of its utility for this team; for the lineorcs two DPs may be a more effective choice (I've never been much for fouling but I should get better at it).

#11) [empty] I cut Prorcam the secondary thrower to pointlessly deny jounisii a wizard for my freakout match, but I think I'll be adding him back soon (especially if I go double DP) because I like to have two on the bench and the goblin doesn't count in my mind. Maybe there's an argument for a third lineorc instead but I like the backup SH/pass and he already has some history now.

#12) Porcris II, lineorc with 0. He'll go norm DP, doubles Guard.

#13 & #14) Probably empty in perpetuity.

#15) Little Orcjax, goblin with 0. I'm fine with him staying skill-less, as he's only around for the TTM option and I've had occasion to try it once thus far. If he levels I guess Catch, though DP might be more useful in more situations. Doubles Block, and then I might let him play more and get another gobbo to throw.

#16) The Horcse, troll with 7. Another that I'd rather not take MVPs, as I try to avoid moving or blocking with him unless necessary. Normal Stand Firm, doubles Block.

There we are, now Nuffle can wipe them out (hehe, knock, just kidding mighty one ... please no?). Any input welcome.

This season is looking familiar as I'm only a loss away from repeating last season's record, but we'll still finish 6th or 7th instead of 8th ... hey, that's progress!

 

[TravelScrabble]

I'd get guard on Horse first then sf