High Elf (OFL) Greater Ulthuan Exiles

Remthar

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“Well, Rifeldin, here we are. Suffering, deprived, thousands of miles from civilization, with nothing but endless barbarism as far as the eye can see. We shall have to be tough to survive, and put up with these near unsurvivable conditions.”

The two elves sat in the tea room at the Altdorf Grand Hotel.

“I don’t know how we’ll survive, sir,” said High Assistant Rifeldin

“It’s going to be ghastly,” said High Coach Remtharion, taking a sip of tea. “But at least the bare essentials are slowly coming together. Progress report?”

“Well sir, the new High Mansion is under construction, but should be finished in time for you to move in before the first games,” said Rifeldin.

“Good, good, finally some minimal comforts.”

“The attached Exile Stadium is nearing completion as well. As directed, the one hundred foot statue of you is being shipped over from Ulthuan in stages, and will stand over the main entrance when it arrives. It has capacity for more people than I believe live in this country, marble seating and two five star restaurants.”

“Excellent.”

“I must ask sir, given your… hurried exit from Ulthuan—”

“Very unfortunate,” said Remtharion.

“Yes sir. Most people manage to only accidentally insult either the Phoenix King or the Everqueen. Both at once was…”

“Very unfortunate,” said Remtharion.

“Yes sir. But as I was asking, given these circumstances, how are we affording all this?” Rifeldin looked over his notes. The ‘income’ column was empty. The expenses column involved too much paper to carry around.

“Ah, do not worry, Rifeldin! There are various grants for these things, this OFL league is very prestigious! Also, I have connections with the Commissioners, a rodent acquaintance from the old days, and you know I get along well with Ogres. The Iron Commissar-Tyrant was very agreeable. He’s been having these massive stadiums built everywhere you know. Some sort of tax scheme, I’m assuming.”

“I see sir. There is just one more matter that we should consider.”

“Yes, Rifeldin?”

“Acquiring any players at all, sir”


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The Greater Ulthuan Exiles
Amazing Team Logo Provided by Astrospider!


Hello everyone, after a long break from Bloodbowl, I’m back! I’m playing over in the OFL, which is just starting up again as well. Hoping I’ll have more time in my schedule for bloodbowl again in the future, but for now I just have time for one league. It's good to see so many familiar names around!
 
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Remthar

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“I think we have made some excellent hires, Rifeldin.” High Coach Remtharion looked over the training fields at the back of the High Mansion from his Coaching Throne. Elves were everywhere, trying out for a place on the team. Running, blocking, passing the ball. Trying to escape over the garden wall…

He raised his heavily gilded elven-crafted megaphone “Mr. Dethpaw, please encourage the linemen recruits back into position.”

“Right little Boss,” said Dethpaw.

“You said this would be just like sport at home!” screamed one of the prospective line-elves. “Except easier, because its against lesser creatures!”

“It is basically is just like sport at home,” said Remtharion.

“There aren’t Ogres at home!” screamed the line elf.

“Mr. Dethpaw is being kind enough to assist our training. Think how much easier everyone else will feel in comparison!”

Twelve elves tried to push against the massive Mr. Dethpaw, and instead fell over. The rest ran away. Remtharion shook his head. “Rubbish! Do it again!”

“At least passing practice is going well, Sir,” said Rifeldin, refilling the High Coach’s tea.

“That is because they are sitting in a little circle two feet from each other and we removed the spikes from the ball! Still, they have to start somewhere I suppose. Shameful. Anyway, what about our two… special hires…?

Rifeldin massaged his brow. “Sir, I have told you. Hiring up to three previously experienced Free Agent players is not a top secret illegal strategy giving us an edge, it is in the rules. Everyone will be doing it.”

“Bastards! Low down, cheating bastards!”

“Yes sir, now about the scouting report—”

Rifeldin was interrupted shouting from the other side of the mansion.

“What was that, Rifeldin?” asked Remtharion.

“…An environmentalist protest, sir,” said Rifeldin. “They’ve been there since this morning.”

“Dear Nuffle, why?”

“I believe it’s about Exile Stadium, sir. It turns out, we built it on the only nesting ground of a species of Rare Laughing Owl.”

“What the…? And the hippies care about this?”

“Yes sir. Rather a lot of them as well.”

Remtharion sighed. “Very well, I will deal with this. Bring in their leaders, Rifeldin.”

As High Assistant Rifeldin went to get the guests, Remtharion watched more of the tryouts. Most of them had the mincing down pretty well, and the running away was going excellently. So far no one had successfully hit anyone else though, which could be a problem. Oh well, they could always learn on the job.

“Here they are sir,” said Rifledin, showing in a small group of elves with flowers in their hair. They were led by an angry looking woman with orange hair. “This is Swift Fairbreeze of the Owl Fancier’s League.”

“How dare you disturb the habitat of the the Rare Laughing Owl!” She shouted as she approached the Coaching Throne. “Don’t you know how endangered they are?! Ever since the halflings found out they taste delicious on toast, the little fuckers have been devastating the population! And now you built your enormous, ridiculous stadium on them?!”

Remtharion cleared his throat. “Exactly!”

“What?”

“Exactly my plan! The Rare Laughing Owl must be protected at all costs, do you not see?! By building a stadium around them, we can preserve them! We will own the ground, and with tiny, minor interruptions for games, they will otherwise be left in peace! The Greater Ulthuan Exiles are in fact the greatest friends the Rare Laughing Owl has!”

“Oh,” said Swift Fairbreeze. “Uh… great? But won’t the games disturb them rather a lot?”

“Not if we’re careful,” said Remtharion. “But don’t take my word for it, come and see for yourselves! Incidentally, you have something of the look of a sports star, if I may say…”

“Oh… I mean, my mother said my father did something like that…”

“Why not try out? You can keep a good eye on the Rare Laughing Owls while you’re here with us!”

“I… I mean, I could give it a go, I guess…?”

“Excellent!” said Remtharion. “Now Rifeldin, is there any word from High Scout Leonas about our opponents?”

*****
 

Borke

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Yes! My favourite BB blogger is back! (and that's saying a lot, as there are many excellent bloggers out there)

Welcome back, Remthar :D

Good luck with the Exiles - I am already looking forward to seeing those free agents make their debut.

Has the OFL moved to BB2?
 

Remthar

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Hey Borke! I see you've gone up in the OCC since I was last there! Yep, the OFL is now BB2.



Greater Ulthuan Exiles, Scouting report One

The now finalized Exile team sat in their luxurious chairs, facing the white-board while High Scout Leonas delivered his report.

“So, first thing I discovered is that we only have three division rivals, said Leonas. He drew a large, ornate ‘three’ on the board.

The team burst into muttering. “What about the other six?” asked High Assistant Rifeldin.

“It turns out that this league is full of radical bloodbowl heretics—or purists true to the original spirit of the game, in their opinion--and we actually have a 16 game season. Were are in a division of four, and will play our division once at the beginning of the season, and again at the end. Then there will be play-offs!”

“Ooooh, play-offs!” The teams continued to murmur with excitement.

“Which we will reach!” said High Coach Remtharion. “I will start the team with very reasonable expectations this season, we must merely win first place.”

“In the division?”

“No, in the entire league,” said Remtharion. “Next season, I will expect us to win all games by a minimum of two touchdown, and then for the third season four, and pitch clear the opposition.”

The teams murmuring start to become less certain.

“Now, tell us our opponents Leonas!” said Remtharion.

Leonas cleared his throat.

“Okay, our division. We are in the AFC West, which I believe stands for ‘Awesome Football Conference’. First up we play the mad hatters.”

“Oh, like the tea party!” said Princess Reineria, an aspiring catcher given the position after gifting lion-drawn chariots to the entire team. ‘How fun!”

“They’re chaos dwarves.”

The entire team and coaching start spat at once.

“A curse upon the bearded little fuckers!” declared Glorious Elixion, thrower, granted the position for looking the best in the fancy helmet.

“We shall be victorious!” shouted Prince Alanalanath, given a catcher position in exchange for providing armor for all the lineselves.

“Chaos Dwarves killed my father!” screamed Lineelf Sulion.

GPFkv3k
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“As you can see, they have two players skilled at murder,” said Leonas, pointing with the Official High Pointing Stick. “I’m pretty sure Braidside also eats people. The only have five blocks and one bull centaur, so they’re not a complete squad. They’re a new team to the league, so all we know about their skill is the coaches name, McClane. Now I did some research on him, and found a series of documentaries about him called ‘Die Hard’. All I can say is he’s terrifying, and we should be glad he’s not on the pitch himself.”

Rifeldin shook his head. “Our Apothecary will have to be on point for this one.”

“Ah,” said Remtharion.

“What, sir?”

“I knew I forgot something.”

“No… doctor?” said Lineself Merinel.

“Oh, don’t whine! It’s not like you'd get to use them anyway, where do you think we are, socialist Lothern? Just everyone focus on your jobs and don’t worry about a few little bruises. Now what about the other two?”

“Match two is Touch of Grey, Nurgle.”

Qb5db0P.png


“Ewwwww.” The entire team shuddered.

“Rifeldin, order two hundred pounds of the finest elven soap. The Herbal stuff.”

“Yes sir.”

“They’re not that well developed yet, obviously, the only skilled player they have is a hard hitting, tackling pestigor,” continued Leonas.

“Hmmm. Rifeldin, do you have the address of a good Apothecary, or should we try advertising the position…?”

"I'll put out some feelers, Sir."

"With luck we'll be able to maneuver around them, the main thing is to avoid the beast. I don't know if its just me, but I think they got somehow uglier in the last couple of years." Leonas wrinkled his nose.

"All shall fall before the Greater Ulthuan Exiles!" shouted Glorious Elixion.

“Third team we face are brettonians,” said Leonas.

zLMrdcN.png


“What?! They let them play now?! What is this world coming too?!” said Remtharion.

“At least they don’t look like they intend to murder us,” said Leonas. “As much, anyway. Probably. I mean, some of those peasants look as bad as the nurgle for chemical warfare.”

“We’re going to need anti-cavalry tactics for this one. Everyone, practice forming a square!”

“Sir, I’m not sure they’re allowed to bring their horses.”

“Nonsense, Rifeldin. Imagine a brettonian without a horse… impossible! We must prepare for the worst.

“Yes, Sir.”

Leonas continued, ignoring the High Coach. “As you can see from these pictures, two of their Knights are suspiciously fast or agile, so either everything I know about humans is a lie, or they have good steroids in brettonia.”

"They're called the visionaries, I doubt interesting chemicals are a foreign concept to them," said Remtharion.

“So actually a pretty hard division to start with. And finish with. I don’t know the order of the rest of our games, but it looks pretty good really. I mean, it was the schedule from hell with all the chaos, nurgle and chaos dwarf teams in the league on it when it was first posted, but I was able to slip some cash to a mysterious spider creature, and we got a much nicer one.”

“Mysterious spider creature?” said Remtharion.

“Well the eye-patched goblin intermediary only referred to them as “El Spyder”, so I don’t if its a name, they're some kind of talking spider, or it actually the demon goddess lolth organizing the division. I just paid cold cash, and we get to play against the wood elves.”

“Well done, Leonas. The report was due last week, and it would have helped to have more time to prepare the team, but I suppose better late than never.”

“Whatever you say, boss,” said Leonas.

The team put on their helmets, and filed out of the duggout onto the pitch for the first game against the Mad Hatters.
 
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Remthar

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So, first match against a chorf team played by a coach I hear is good. I haven’t played for a long time except for some practice games in the open league. He has two killers, and I don’t have an Apo yet, because I’m cheap.

Thus I was a teeny bit nervous, and when the chorfs won the toss and elected to kick to me, I panicked and scored in two turns. I could have stalled for a turn longer with a naked 2+ dodge(and a near certainty of being marked to force another 2+ dodge to score next turn), but a double skull on the first turn, and failed dodge on the second had already eaten two rerolls, so rather than risk not scoring at all I took the touchdown.

At the start of the Mad Hatters drive, their supporters led a charge on the ref and nailed him to one of the billboards. Their lone Bullcentaur picks up the ball like its easy, the bastard, and they get a couple of stuns on some lineselves.

But the exiles defense starts off strong, with Free Agent Nesantdon Elerdel, a blitzer with guard, fracturing the arm of a rookie chorf blocker! The Hatters have an Apo, but save it. They push hard down the right side of the pitch, and even hold off on fouling due to concerns about numbers. Things are looking alright.

Unfortunately, my rustyness shows, and I position poorly, moving too many players to the right, while not even properly blocking their way. I leave an easy path to punch through to the left open.

I continue to position my players abysmally. While watching the replay to write this report, I am silently screaming at myself to fucking column dear god why are you not fucking columning, yet I know I will not. Panic sets in, I fail a block while half my team is in contact. The only thing that keeps my players on the pitch is the chorfs terrible block dice. One of my lineselves is badly hurt by a random hobgoblin. With a couple of blockless one dice hits, I’m able to get a one dice blitz on the Bull Centaur, but only get a push. The Hatters are able to push the Centaur free of his markers, and he smoothly scores on turn seven.

I only have one turn, so with the chorfs setting up in a anti-OTTD setup, I won't be able to score… or will I! The Greater Ulthuan Exiles adoring Fans riot! The clock is moved back! One blitz, a couple of naked 2+ rolls and a pass from a thrower to a catcher, and I’m in scoring range with a screen! The bull centaur continues the chorf run of bad dice, and both downs a blitz, letting me walk in a second score!


At 2-1 to the Exiles, we each have a K.O and badly hurt as we go into the second half. The chorfs had a spare Hob, so have a one man advantage. They up this to a two man advantage after the first blitz, their hitting luck starting to shift. But they fail to pick up with the bull centaur this time(Ha!) and the Exiles run in to mark the ball…

And snake eye a GFI. This results in a couple of stuns and a K.O from the team left in contact, which is light damage considering the twin killers, but we’re now starting to be seriously down numbers. A Hob picks up the ball this time, a move which confuses me, as I try to go for the Bull centaur thinking he had it. >.< Now the K.Os reign, and the Exile teams is leaving the pitch fast. At turn thirteen there are two elves left on the pitch and a hob runs in the touchdown.

One of the six K.Os comes back. The Exiles are left receiving with three players. A Lineself, Princess Reineria (a catcher) and our thrower, Glorious Elixion. Things are not ideal.

The kick lands exactly in the middle of our half, and one of our rerolls is eaten trying to push a LOS hob with two dice. Elixion passes to Reineria (three successful passes in a first match, not bad!), who one dice pows a hob, and tries to dodge into, then out of a tackleszone to run upfeild and at least make it hard from them to score or maybe get super lucky… and instead flops and pinches a nerve.

The lineself is surrounded by literally half the Chorf team, Elixion is blocked by a screen of hobs, and the bull centaur picks up the ball as if that was a legitimate thing he should be allowed to do. The ball is over the halfway line, and the chorfs have two turns left.

Elixion gives no fucks. 3+ then 3+ to the bull centaur and hits him in the face uphill! This is rewarded with a pow/bothdown, so both of them hit the floor!

The lineself is finally K.Oed, and the bull stands up, and again picks up the ball. But then nuffle smites this evil! The bull snake-eyes a required GFI! Elixion--the last elf on the pitch--dodges out from his two markers, picks up the ball, and punts it as hard as he can up the pitch! The hobs try for a pass, but botch it and the game is tied 2-2!


A wild first game back in a league, and a result to ultimately be very grateful for. No one is dead, with one catcher MNG, Catcher Prince Alanalanath scored both Touchdowns AND got the MVP, so got dodge. With luck he should be a very valuable Wrodger soon. Three passes and a Cas are also very welcome and needed SPP. Sadly not enough cash for an Apo yet, so we’ll be facing the Nurgle without one, but we should have it for the third game.

The riot result saved me from a very poor first half. I hurried my score faster than I needed to, and thus gifted initiative completely over to the Hatters. I then badly messed up positioning, which comes from being rusty I guess. I was feeling quiet bad over it until I watched the replay, but now hopefully I can learn from this to get back on better form.

Second half was more unfortunate, the common elf story of a snake eyed roll leaving elves in harms way and player losses spiraling out of control. Still some sloppy mistakes in there, with better play I could maybe have left the chorfs with little choice other than to accept the draw rather than having the opportunity to push for the win, and leaving me with only very lucky dice saving the team from defeat.

Low TV High Elves are always stressful to play, with luck we’ll get a few more skills soon and life will get a little easier.
 

Remthar

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So here’s the team after match one. The OFL allows up to 3 Free Agents on a team, skilled players hired from previously existent players in the league. You can hire more (up to the max of 3 on a team at once and a cap of 600TV) at any time before matchday 10, if I understand correctly anyway. I had a few choices when starting the team at 1150k gold, and ultimately went with 2 guard blitzers, on the feeling that in the long term they were the most valuable players. Catchers level up faster, and the handful of good catcher FAs can be purchased later, whereas I would always want to have two blitzers and wouldn’t have a slot to buy the guard ones later.

I think I made a mistake going with three catchers from the start. Two would be fine for most needs, and an extra(more expendable) AV8 Linesman would have more general utility earlier on. The only way I could have fit an Apo was cutting all the catchers unfortunately. Even with other FA choices, the numbers were always just off, leading a choice of Apo or any catchers at all.

Going forward, its all about getting dodge on players, I’ll want to feed SPP to the Blitzers wherever possible to get them dodge for safety and mobility. Torn on the Thrower. Accurate is the obvious skill for the fun long passes, but dodge is always so generically useful.

Next up for the team will be Uldreg’s Nurgle, unfortunately also with two MB(though once is the beast). Rotter has a levelup pending, which could even be DP for more hurting. All we can do is hope for the best and buy a lot of elven herbal soap!
 

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So, first match against a chorf team played by a coach I hear is good. I haven’t played for a long time except for some practice games in the open league. He has two killers, and I don’t have an Apo yet, because I’m cheap.

Thus I was a teeny bit nervous, and when the chorfs won the toss and elected to kick to me, I panicked and scored in two turns. I could have stalled for a turn longer with a naked 2+ dodge(and a near certainty of being marked to force another 2+ dodge to score next turn), but a double skull on the first turn, and failed dodge on the second had already eaten two rerolls, so rather than risk not scoring at all I took the touchdown.

At the start of the Mad Hatters drive, their supporters led a charge on the ref and nailed him to one of the billboards. Their lone Bullcentaur picks up the ball like its easy, the bastard, and they get a couple of stuns on some lineselves.

But the exiles defense starts off strong, with Free Agent Nesantdon Elerdel, a blitzer with guard, fracturing the arm of a rookie chorf blocker! The Hatters have an Apo, but save it. They push hard down the right side of the pitch, and even hold off on fouling due to concerns about numbers. Things are looking alright.

Unfortunately, my rustyness shows, and I position poorly, moving too many players to the right, while not even properly blocking their way. I leave an easy path to punch through to the left open.

I continue to position my players abysmally. While watching the replay to write this report, I am silently screaming at myself to fucking column dear god why are you not fucking columning, yet I know I will not. Panic sets in, I fail a block while half my team is in contact. The only thing that keeps my players on the pitch is the chorfs terrible block dice. One of my lineselves is badly hurt by a random hobgoblin. With a couple of blockless one dice hits, I’m able to get a one dice blitz on the Bull Centaur, but only get a push. The Hatters are able to push the Centaur free of his markers, and he smoothly scores on turn seven.

I only have one turn, so with the chorfs setting up in a anti-OTTD setup, I won't be able to score… or will I! The Greater Ulthuan Exiles adoring Fans riot! The clock is moved back! One blitz, a couple of naked 2+ rolls and a pass from a thrower to a catcher, and I’m in scoring range with a screen! The bull centaur continues the chorf run of bad dice, and both downs a blitz, letting me walk in a second score!


At 2-1 to the Exiles, we each have a K.O and badly hurt as we go into the second half. The chorfs had a spare Hob, so have a one man advantage. They up this to a two man advantage after the first blitz, their hitting luck starting to shift. But they fail to pick up with the bull centaur this time(Ha!) and the Exiles run in to mark the ball…

And snake eye a GFI. This results in a couple of stuns and a K.O from the team left in contact, which is light damage considering the twin killers, but we’re now starting to be seriously down numbers. A Hob picks up the ball this time, a move which confuses me, as I try to go for the Bull centaur thinking he had it. >.< Now the K.Os reign, and the Exile teams is leaving the pitch fast. At turn thirteen there are two elves left on the pitch and a hob runs in the touchdown.

One of the six K.Os comes back. The Exiles are left receiving with three players. A Lineself, Princess Reineria (a catcher) and our thrower, Glorious Elixion. Things are not ideal.

The kick lands exactly in the middle of our half, and one of our rerolls is eaten trying to push a LOS hob with two dice. Elixion passes to Reineria (three successful passes in a first match, not bad!), who one dice pows a hob, and tries to dodge into, then out of a tackleszone to run upfeild and at least make it hard from them to score or maybe get super lucky… and instead flops and pinches a nerve.

The lineself is surrounded by literally half the Chorf team, Elixion is blocked by a screen of hobs, and the bull centaur picks up the ball as if that was a legitimate thing he should be allowed to do. The ball is over the halfway line, and the chorfs have two turns left.

Elixion gives no fucks. 3+ then 3+ to the bull centaur and hits him in the face uphill! This is rewarded with a pow/bothdown, so both of them hit the floor!

The lineself is finally K.Oed, and the bull stands up, and again picks up the ball. But then nuffle smites this evil! The bull snake-eyes a required GFI! Elixion--the last elf on the pitch--dodges out from his two markers, picks up the ball, and punts it as hard as he can up the pitch! The hobs try for a pass, but botch it and the game is tied 2-2!


A wild first game back in a league, and a result to ultimately be very grateful for. No one is dead, with one catcher MNG, Catcher Prince Alanalanath scored both Touchdowns AND got the MVP, so got dodge. With luck he should be a very valuable Wrodger soon. Three passes and a Cas are also very welcome and needed SPP. Sadly not enough cash for an Apo yet, so we’ll be facing the Nurgle without one, but we should have it for the third game.

The riot result saved me from a very poor first half. I hurried my score faster than I needed to, and thus gifted initiative completely over to the Hatters. I then badly messed up positioning, which comes from being rusty I guess. I was feeling quiet bad over it until I watched the replay, but now hopefully I can learn from this to get back on better form.

Second half was more unfortunate, the common elf story of a snake eyed roll leaving elves in harms way and player losses spiraling out of control. Still some sloppy mistakes in there, with better play I could maybe have left the chorfs with little choice other than to accept the draw rather than having the opportunity to push for the win, and leaving me with only very lucky dice saving the team from defeat.

Low TV High Elves are always stressful to play, with luck we’ll get a few more skills soon and life will get a little easier.
Sounds like a great game
 

Remthar

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“Urrghhhh… where am I…?” Lineself Merinel slowly sat up in bed. “Wait… the match?!”

“Oh good, that's almost everyone.” High Assistant Rifeldin ticked something off a checklist.

“Oh gods, how long was I out?”

“…A week?” said Rifeldin.

“I… that’s not good, right?”

“….eh, probably not? I don’t know, we still haven’t been able to find a doctor. I’ve just been letting you all sleep the concussions off. It doesn’t seem to have done any harm.”

As he spoke an elf strode into the room wearing nothing but a massive cape with a huge popped collar. “I AM INDESTRUCTARON! THE DARK FORCES OF THE CABAL OF MIDNIGHT ARE NO MATCH FOR THE SECRET POWER INVESTED IN ME!”

The Elf then slammed his head into the bedside table three times, before striding out of the room.

“As you can see, the rest of the team is doing fine,” said Rifeldin. “Except the Princess Reineria. It turns out that when you take a delicate elven princess with a rating of 12p—”

“12p?”

“She can feel a pea even through a stack of twelve mattresses, it’s a middle rating on the scale—Well it turns out that when a Princess of this caliber slams face-first into a bloodbowl pitch, it takes some time before she wakes up. We hope. Otherwise we’re going to be super exiled for putting a princess into a coma.”

“I... So did we win?”

“Gods no, it was a draw.”

“But we’re deeply superior High Elves! They were filthy Chaos Dwarves!”

“Yes, but they not only had two talented murders, but knew how to play. Unlike us. Honestly, we only got the draw because the High Coach’s Ogre bodyguards know how to work the crowd. Well, that and Elixion.”

“Elixion? The ponce with the fancy hat?”

“Yes, it seems when cornered he turns quiet vicious. Through screaming, crying and pathetic strikes with his small, delicate hands, he managed to put a Bull Centaur off its game. Then threw the ball away in a tantrum, ranting while flipping off the Hatters and the crowd.”

“That sounds… heroic?”

“Well he’s already trying for an Action Figure deal, so I guess. Anyway, rest up. We have another match tomorrow.”

“Shouldn’t I practice?”

“Can you stand up properly?”

“…not yet.”

“Then no. It’s not like anyone else is. The only skilled people we have are the Free Agents, who are just hanging out in bars, spending their huge paychecks and being ‘noticed’. Well, and Prince Alanalanath I guess, who says he’s skilled for being handed the ball and jogging to the endzone while everyone else did the hard work. He’s hard at work. Not at bloodbowl, or course, but at poetry, so he can say something pithy next time he scores a touchdown.”

“I guess I will rest then. My head is still swimming, and I think I can taste the color blue?” Merinel lay back down.
 

Remthar

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“So, Nurgle, High Scout Leonas. Nurgle. Any developments on them since the start of the season?”

The High Coach sipped tea from the finest High Elven cup while sitting in his extremely ornate swan-shaped Mithril bath. Cleanliness was important when even thinking about Nurgle teams.

“No much. Still have a murderous Pestigor, and thats about it apart from one of their rotters learning the power of teamwork(Guard). Very inspirational, I’m told.”

“Good work Leonas. Rifeldin! Are our players clean?!”

“Yes, High Coach. Every one of them has a bar of the finest herbal soap for use during the match.”

“Then we can begin.”

Rifeldin blew the whistle, and the Greater Ulthuan Exiles Team streamed out from the dugout onto the field, gleaming and polished from head to toe.

“Ah, it is a good day to be an elf, Rifeldin!”

“Yes sir.”


*****

We lose the toss, and the Touch of Grey send us to receive. We speed up an open side with the ball, despite having unnecessarily passed to Prince Alanalanath(Catcher) in a disturbing presence field. The new graphic is ultimately clearer, but I still missed it. Derp.

Things look a little worrying when the Beast of Nurgle, Jerry, is able to make two GFIs to mark the ball carrier. Fortunately, a blitz clears him off and we’re able to score in three turns pretty safely.

But just before we score, FA Blizter Nessendont has an encounter with Touch of Grey’s new Guard Rotter.

uY0KmSw.png


Kills him dead!

On the offense, the Nurgle zigzag around, but the Exiles are able to slow their progress well, despite a few questionable errors, like leaving Alanalanath standing next to a Nurgle warrior for no reason. Sometimes you’d think the team had three apothecaries rather than none. Still they all survive.

Until Lineself Merinel doesn’t.

X3ekw6b.png


“Huh. Maybe there was a lingering effect from being unconscious for a week.”

There is no polite way to say this, but Lineself Merinel is eaten by Beast of Nurgle Jerry and… pooped out as a rotter. Tragic.

“Treachery!” shouted Remtharion.

“They…. have… better… health… plan…” said Rotter Merinel.

“I’ve looked sir, and they really really do not,” whispered Rifeldin.

By the end of the drive, the Nurgle are forced to try a longshot passing play, which fails. Exiles are up 1-0 after the first half!

The second half starts off badly, as I completely miss a nurgle warriors position, and start my turn dodging into a tacklezone where I didn’t think I would be dodging at all. However next turn we have an unexpected opportunity for a twodice blitz, and knock the ball loose, though are unable to recover it. Touch of Grey recover the ball, but we’re able to push open their cage and again blitz the ball, though this time not getting it loose.

The Exiles defense falls into shambles, but fortunately all the damage from here is K.Os. The plan become to try and convince the Nurgle to score fast, we still have one RR and time to score. But the Nurgle are able to delay, and end up splitting their team to cage down the side. Pressured by the Exiles Guard Blitzers, they do try a handoff with a reroll to a warrior to an unmarked warrior for a touchdown, but fluff the 75%. The ball is by the sidelines.

The guard blitzers come out to play, stunning a pestigor and…

uY0KmSw.png


Nessendont claims another rotters life!

Alanananath grabs the open ball, but isn’t able to get far. He's blitzed down, and on their last turn, Touch of Grey make a dodge, pickup, Long Pass and rotter catch in the endzone to tie the game 1-1.

On our last turn, a quicksnap help the Exiles setup and push Alananath into range for a OTTD, but poor K.O rolls means no thrower, and a positioning error means I have to try a pass with my loner, who fluffs the 4+.

We end the game 1-1, but intact apart from the loss of Lineself Merinel. Sadly no levels, but we can now afford an Apo and Nessendont has been wracking up a surprising amount of damage with an MNGed Chorf and two dead rotters so far!
 

Remthar

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Have a cold at the moment, so match reports and fluff might get behind a little until head is clear enough.

In the meantime, now that bloodbowl has got its hooks in me again, I'm thinking I should join a second league. OCC signups seem to be near, so I'll probably go for that. Question is, what team to pick? I've never been great at Bash, so I'm tempted to pick solid bash for a change, maybe orcs or dwarves. Both would be fun to write for as well. Spooked by claw at high TV though. And they're both usually highly represented.

Or maybe Skaven? Again fun to write and play, and they can win at any TV, but a little concerned about just getting massacred. I don't understand the full implications of the new bank rule, so I'm not sure its its better or worse for their long term financial survival. Less saving for the inevitable rainy day when half the team dies at once.

Or I could sell out completely and take chaos, nurgle or wood elves.
 

Supa

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Have a cold at the moment, so match reports and fluff might get behind a little until head is clear enough.

In the meantime, now that bloodbowl has got its hooks in me again, I'm thinking I should join a second league. OCC signups seem to be near, so I'll probably go for that. Question is, what team to pick? I've never been great at Bash, so I'm tempted to pick solid bash for a change, maybe orcs or dwarves. Both would be fun to write for as well. Spooked by claw at high TV though. And they're both usually highly represented.

Or maybe Skaven? Again fun to write and play, and they can win at any TV, but a little concerned about just getting massacred. I don't understand the full implications of the new bank rule, so I'm not sure its its better or worse for their long term financial survival. Less saving for the inevitable rainy day when half the team dies at once.

Or I could sell out completely and take chaos, nurgle or wood elves.

Wait 'til next Big Crunch season. In fact, sign up on the waiting list immediately. ;)

Anyways if chaos and nurgle feel too cheap then chaos dwarves are a nice alternative for bash (much more fun than normal dwarves imo). Necromantic looks like a fun roster too, something I haven't played a lot. Or be different, take Kislev and figure out what's the optimal way to build/play them. :D

New bank rule is that every 10k that exceeds 150k bank will add 10 more team value to you. Spiralling expenses also exist at higher team values, so skaven (and elves) will eventually plummet down hard.
 

Remthar

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Wait 'til next Big Crunch season. In fact, sign up on the waiting list immediately. ;)

Anyways if chaos and nurgle feel too cheap then chaos dwarves are a nice alternative for bash (much more fun than normal dwarves imo). Necromantic looks like a fun roster too, something I haven't played a lot. Or be different, take Kislev and figure out what's the optimal way to build/play them. :D

I'd like to rejoin the Big Crunch, but very inconsiderately, you're only on matchday 4. I need more bloodbowl now, I have the itch! :p If scheduling works out, maybe I'll be able to fit it in as well next season.

Chaos Dwarves are a level of evil I will not even contemplate. Kislev is too much when I'm just relearning to play, too much insanity. I hadn't thought about Necro. Never had much of a grasp on them, something to consider.
 

TravelScrabble

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I'd like to rejoin the Big Crunch, but very inconsiderately, you're only on matchday 4. I need more bloodbowl now, I have the itch! :p If scheduling works out, maybe I'll be able to fit it in as well next season.

Chaos Dwarves are a level of evil I will not even contemplate. Kislev is too much when I'm just relearning to play, too much insanity. I hadn't thought about Necro. Never had much of a grasp on them, something to consider.

Overall the bank rule seems to have changed the meta slightly. People are much more likely to scum inducements so people are more concerned with TV efficient. I see a lot more elf teams with 11 players or less and bash team that stay on 12. Skaven are cheap enough though that maintaining a bench is possible if you hover around 150. OFL is so far a bit old school with coaches who see TV growth as a good thing.
 

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Interesting, good to know. I'm leaning towards going Orc atm, just because it would be so different for me, even if its hardly a rare choice. Had been considering Vamps as well, but that would obviously just be bandwagoning on the most OP race as they just won the whole thing :p
 

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Match 3 Versus the Visionaries

It felt dangerous going into his match, for all that I now have my apo. The bretts have not been lucky so far, and have 4 loner peasants, low expectations and an intent to foul. Also I have never played against Bretts before and Detoxx is a very good coach.

The Bretts catch the ball with a Knight on the LOS and end up stunning three elves, including with a large gang foul. They shift to the side, fouling every turn, getting a K.O on their second attempt, but are sent off for nothing on their third. At least Thrower Elixion listened to the anti foul training. Or is just very good at screaming for attention naturally.

The Bretts score on turn five, pushing through the middle of the Exiles. I’m happy with this result, given I now have four turns to score back.

On offense we move up the side at first, then are able to open into the middle of the brettonian half and cage. The bretts can’t do much to stop the score, so start fouling, K.Oing Nessendont. On the Visionaries last turn, Elixion is saved from a big gang foul by a snake-eyed GFI.

I consider scoring with the 14 SPP Alananath, but after seeing the snake-eye I’m too spooked by dice to even 2+ with a reroll handoff, and let Reineria score. Maybe if everything goes well, I can level them both.

Second half starts, and the ball lands deep in my half. I send three players to get it, with a plan. Due to the kick-off, I have four Reroll and at 1-1 scoring fast isn’t in my best interests. I’m even up a player, due to the peasant being sent off and my K.Os all coming back! I can pass with Elixion for a level, twice with Alanalanath and once with a MVP line elf. Then give it to Reineria for the touchdown! That would be four levels, four! And not too unlikely, either!

Elixion’s pass goes well, thats one down. The brettans get a Cas on my Loner Lineelf, evening up the numbers, but so far so good. Alanalanath runs to the team and makes his second pass and has the ball handed back to him and a cage formed around him. The Visionaries move into heavy contact, and I start to make mistakes. My attempts at 2dice with blockless players have been eating rerolls aggressively all game, and continue to do so.

I play too much on optimizing blocks instead of positioning or getting away from the press. I’m able to K.O one knight over a couple of turns, but I’m now stuck in the fight. In a critical turn, I decide to bliz with the wrong Blizer, and rather than escaping from the brawl with both blitzers, only one can follow the catcher out, and he snake eyes a dodge, leaving Alanalanath wide open.

Tathron, my +MA Guard FA blitzerin is then killed.

***Sad elven music starts playing***

Tathron’s beaten body is dragged to the sidelines, and cradled in the arms of an angelically beautiful elven woman in a long, flowing white dress. As she hold him, she sings of ancient High Elf Heroes of the past, and a single tear falls on his lifeless body. Suddenly he stirs! Light shines from on high! The very plants around the elven maiden spring to life!

“Bloody hell, Rifeldin. Good find…” said Remtharion.

“She… wasn’t our Apothecary sir,” said Rifeldin, pointing at a small goblin in a white coat holding a box of surgical tools.

The goblin tapped his foot and shook his head. “That is not standard practice. Very unprofessional. Crying all over the place, I ask you…”

Remtharion drew a silver longbow and shot the goblin through the head without looking at him. “She is now, Rifeldin. She is now…”

***

He lives! The bretts can only get stumbles with two dice an a reroll on Alanalanath, so by a miracle he is still on his feet.

We 3+ 2+ dodge him out and cage Reineria with the ball again, though not as well as I could have, and our rerolls are vanishing fast. The brets are able to get a two dice blitz with a loner peasant who pows her down, badly hurt.

I’m left with only bad options, and just try to clog the ball, eating my last reroll on a one dice block. The bretonians mostly clear it, and with no rerolls left, their Agi4 knight dodges away with the ball, then nuffle screws us both with him failing the first of two GFIs to score. If he’d scored, I would have had two turns left to maybe equalize if I was very lucky, or otherwise at least maybe level a player or two with a pass.

Alanalanath recovers the ball in our endzone, but a failed dodge means he’s uncovered. the Visionaries move to surf him, but fail yet another GFI. One turn left means I can’t score, but maybe Alanalanath can level… he dodges away, but fails his 2+ pass and the ball scatters over a stunned elf in the worst possible way, leaving it clear for the brets to pick up and pass for the win.

Overall the second half was pretty unlucky, but I was greedy and took my eyes off the win. The bretts made the right call to swamp me with contact and hope it ate my rerolls, which it did. Detox positioned well to force me into bad options, but watching the replay I missed some better choices of action.

We’re sitting on a 0-2-1 record so far, which isn’t where it felt like we’d be, and painfully in this match missed leveling several players. Base skills are very sorely needed, its feeling like every single action takes a team reroll or risks the game. Still, thank nuffle the Apo saved Tathron. That would have been a harsh loss, and would have meant I’d need to understand the rules for buy more FAs. Holding off on that till I have to.

Elixion did level though, and took dodge. More generally useful than accurate at this stage in my opinion.
 

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Regarding your choice of teams for the OCC, Remthar, I can add the following thoughts:

  • I am happy to hear that you will not be playing Chorfs. I wouldn't have been able to talk to you again.
  • Necro have been highly represented in the OCC, and quite successful as well, in BB2.
  • Skaven haven't won it yet, they always seem to crash just before they can make it. It's definitely a one-shot team: Rush to the top, build that one-turner, try to win before the team dies.
  • Orcs have already won the OCC in BB2, but they definitely struggle in the upper 2 tiers, as those are infested with Claw. Same goes for Lizardmen.
  • Dwarves are very underrepresented in the OCC. I don't think they've even been in the upper 2 tiers, yet. Some people will of course hate on you for picking Dwarves, on principle, but I think it's a fine choice. They will struggle, though.
  • As for Kislev: The OCC has a Kislev coach support group. Because that's how bad it can be.
 

tys123

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If you are planning on playing in 3 leagues I would make one of them a fun team to avoid burn out.
Having 1 game a week where you don't care about winning and just have fun reduces the stress levels.
I go for flings for the TTM game, hitting a caged ballcarrier with a thrown fling is hilarious, but gobbo's or ogres would work just as well.
If you go for flings put them in the OCC as the cheap star player stadium means you get to play with more inducements.
 

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Regarding your choice of teams for the OCC, Remthar, I can add the following thoughts:

Thanks for the thoughts Borke. I saw the Kislev support group, and damn it says something about a race that need one! Not doing that to myself in a hurry, I'd much quick go back to the Flings! Sounds like the skaven are what I feared, the new bank rule increasing the odds of the team burning out. I think the rats could hold out financially under the old one with a bit of luck, able to play a while with loners and build up a bank, then keep up a bench for when its need, but now they can't save for a rainy day as well.

I decided on orcs in the end mainly because I've never played a team of them for more than about 4-5 games. I've never been as strong a bash coach as an elf or stunty coach, and think orcs look like a good team to improve that with. I didn't know there were so few dwarves in the OCC though, maybe they would be a better option? I could probably change still, fluff would be fun either way.

I'm aware claw is a huge problem for either of them and I'm a bit spooked, but I figure I just want to give them a try for a season or three or four. If I'm liking them I'll carry on, if not, I'll switch to something else maybe more viable.

If you are planning on playing in 3 leagues I would make one of them a fun team to avoid burn out.
Having 1 game a week where you don't care about winning and just have fun reduces the stress levels.
I go for flings for the TTM game, hitting a caged ballcarrier with a thrown fling is hilarious, but gobbo's or ogres would work just as well.
If you go for flings put them in the OCC as the cheap star player stadium means you get to play with more inducements.

Good advice! I'm going with two leagues for now to make sure I can handle the scheduling, but if I'm able to manage a third like I hope I will, something lighter for the third one sounds good. That stadium sounds great for flings, I'd love to give it a go. The ability to pay a little cash along with inducements now also sounds pretty fun for the little guys...
 

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MD4


We’re into the out of division games now. First up is Cullun’s Wood elves. I did not feel confident going into this match, as the woodies had twelve men, more base skills, a strip ball dancer and a MV9 catcher. I paid 10k to get an extra reroll in inducements.

But the first half was extremely lucky for me. The woodies recive and their catcher snake eyes the ball in a handoff right away. The ball is in heavy traffic, but I go in and manage to make it messy.

The kick-off had been get the reff, so I made an assistless foul on the catcher, and badly hurt him! Bribe failed and I was sent off of course, but not a bad one-for-one.

I eventually get the ball away due to my elves passing more 3+ rolls than the woodies and score.

The woodies score fast in return, but I’m able to score again in retaliation. 2-1 to the exiles going into half time!

We receive, and it’s a wood elf blitz, but with a mercifully safe kick for me. Still, I end up swarmed and the ball changes hands a lot before we ultimately end up being just short of scoring.

Match ends 2-1, but several very needed vanity passes gives us 4 levels out of it! And the Exiles luck is not confined to the pitch, as we get some very nice level rolls! One lineself takes block, and a second gets double 5s for guard. Rookie catcher gets dodge and Prince Alanalanath rolls an 11! No longer is the team bound by the tyranny of tacklezones mattering!

This leaves the team in a much better feeling place. We now have multiple dodge catchers to make scoring more reliable, a block line elf to reduce the vast number of both down results my line elves seem to love and as much guard as the orc team we face next.

The blitzers still need dodge though, and I need someone who can sack before I feel the team is completely in stride, but it feels a great deal closer than last week and a 1-2-1 record feels a lot better than a 0-2-1 record!

LUiL8C4oDVWDIEbDDWKSvFSgWEKn8vUqQsGThkqOUNG2O7nCNp1EhP2WwIFnqjhiypCxf3TKnwc59gfV86zz8_UvcnVLujuF4xqYI9tenamYabI25NioCWPzXgTCqYnw9HWQUncJ



***


“Behold, my glory!” Alanalanath posed again, to polite applause from the rest of the team, and the annoyance of the sculptors trying to finish the commemorative victory statues.

The exiles after-victory parade had gone well, circling the city in lion-drawn chariots, handmaidens throwing flowers in front of their path. There had been a few minor traffic incidents and one pair of lions has caught a strange scent. Still no one had heard from Lineself Sulion. Remtharion hoped he was alright. He had been showing promise at blocking practise recently--unlike all the other lineselves who couldn’t even successfully knock over a blocking dummy without a great deal of encouragement--shouting something about vengeance being his.

Extraordinary Illgoth was doing well with teamwork, ganging up on the weak seemed to come naturally to him. The trick was going to be also ganging up on the strong.

Putting some wood elves in their place had felt good, even the half wood elf, Swift Fairbreeze was on board with this. She was adapting to proper High Elf ways well, though her superior laugh still needed work. It still sounded too giggly for a truly superior being. She hadn’t even asked about the Rare Laughing Owls in a week, and everyone was beginning to doubt they even existed.

Remtharion took another sip of tea. Rare Laughing Owls indeed.
 

sbr32

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The good news is, you are now going up against the worst team, coached by the worst player in the league! :D

Mighty Blow Orcs who cant remove Skinks from the field but make up for it by leaving the field like Snotlings themselves.
 
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