The Crunch Cup Courier is recruiting!

[John McGuirk]

Greetings to all of you out there in reader-land!

(Is that a bit presumptuous, I wonder? I have no idea whether you're actually a reader of ours. Well, I suppose you're reading this, and semantically speaking that's good enough for me!)

Ahem. Here at the Courier, we're busy gearing up for the season ahead - when we'll once again be bringing you coverage of every crushing tackle, lofted pass and involuntary spinal recalibration that Crunch Cup IX has to offer!

We hope that you get a kick out of the stuff we put out each week, but that isn't the extent of our ambitions. You see - deep in the hidden, er, depths of our hearts - we also dream of inspiring our readers to get writing, too. And so it is that we beckon you in to the fold, arms open wide - to put it bluntly, we want you to join us and d̶o̶ ̶a̶l̶l̶ ̶o̶u̶r̶ ̶g̶r̶u̶n̶t̶ ̶w̶o̶r̶k become valued members of the Courier team!

Two of our handsome and popular staff at work, yesterday.​

With the Crunch Cup once again becoming a 32-team tournament, we too are naturally looking to expand to keep pace with it. As a result, vacancies have arisen for new writers to help us with the following regular features:

Match reports,
Play of the Day articles,
Did you know.. trivia, notices, and other miscellaneous silliness.

We're also keen to hear from you if you've an idea for any other new feature or content you might want to contribute!

If any of this nonsensical patter has somehow managed to pique your interest, all you have to do is get in touch with me via PM and we'll see where we go from there.

Regardless of whether you do or you don't, thanks all the same for taking the time to read this far. Looking forward to seeing all of you* out on the pitch!

*Well, some of you. Who knows how far the Hoof-Ball Merchants might go**!!
**Fine, seven of you. Oh, and my first-round opponent in the Crunched Cup.

 

[Narly Bird]

I'm happy to lend a hand if needed.

 

[Lebe666]

Would love too... but I'll be way too absent these next months travelling...

 

[Gallows Bait]

I can only echo the words of our fine editor.

The amount of effort that goes into this publication by our editors is immense and truly humbling to a lowly match reporter such as I.

Unfortunately with my own step up to League Commissioner and other changes we are more eager than ever to find those interested in turning pen to paper, or rather fingers to keyboards, in a bid to report the action, as well as bring us ever new insights and angles into the world of the Crunch Cup.

I can truly say that involvement in the courier has been the greatest amount of fun and one of the most satisfying things I have been involved in, and I am no great writer.

The creativity shown by such as John and Rusty in their editorial work, as well such creations as Gunnar, Deed Keen and Headcut have been enjoyable to watch develop and learn from - it has certainly helped my creative writing and it has been a pleasure to grow with the Courier as a writer myself.

I for one do hope that there will be those interested out there in continuing this wonderful and unique aspect to Crunch Cup that helps make it all that much more fun than just the games on the pitch.

 

[bobman]

I have been trying my hand at something similar with my local tabletop league, nothing on the scale or class of the courier mind. Some can be found here;

HydraGamingClub.freeforums.org • View topic - HGC-BBL 2012 Season - Week 8 of 26

And on the old forum,

(BB) Hydra Rookie Cup page 2

So if I can lend a hand I will.

 

[Citizen Nev]

Snotlight?

 

[John McGuirk]

Hello again! Your friendly neighbourhood digitised-specialist-hobbyist-boardgame-tournament-dedicated-journal editor here, just dropping by to inform you that:

The Courier is once again seeking new applicants!​

How would you like to write alongside three times award-winning legend of Old World journalism, Gunnar Longtongue Himself? (That's actually his name now, he had the 'Himself' added by deed poll.) How about trading tips and thrashing out editorial vision with the Enthrop brothers, or just trading methane and thrashing interns with Gutrog Word-Knower?

Crunch Cup X has expanded the size of the competition by a staggering 150%*, and we're keen to take on some new hires to ensure that no single-turn symphony score or impromptu on-field vasectomy gets lost in the maelstrom. If you have the use of two fingers, and don't think a paragraph is something reserved for air force accountants, we're eager to hear from you! Currently we're looking for budding Bukowskis who can help us come up with:

Match reports,
All-new features and articles,
Did you know.. trivia, notices, and other acts of gratuitous miscellanea.

I'm also pleased to announce that every applicant before the end of the week gets a free kiss from Rusty**! Presumably not as pleased as him, mind you! Say, Rusty, is that a novelty-sized biro in your pocket, or are you just - oh, it is?

If you think you might be interested - and with that kind of offer on the table, who wouldn't be? - just give us a hoot, or an only-slightly-less noble holler, either here in the thread or via PM. We can't wait to hear from you! We'll tell you you're handsome! We're good at sounding sincere! Don't delay, act today!

*See how I staggered the number itself with italics? How's that for a writing tip, eh? All on the house, pal!
**Terms and conditions apply. Tongues at Rusty's discretion. Rusty, if you see this, it was Barninho's idea, please, just put the cricket bat down, we can talk about th

 

[Nikolai II]

I feel I should try to help, as long as I don't have to read anyone else's work before publication day.

 

[Netsmurf]

Phhppft...what is the rush? Gunnar Longtounge Himself, trice award winning reporter and objectivity´s last defender is back. And it is in no way connected to evil rumors about Gunnars financial situation - no way

 

[Barmution]

Phhppft...what is the rush? Gunnar Longtounge Himself, trice award winning reporter and objectivity´s last defender is back. And it is in no way connected to evil rumors about Gunnars financial situation - no way

I heard that Geraldo wanted to hug Gunnar to welcome him back, but puncture wounds heal so slowly at his age...

 

[Rusty]

Pucker up, boys.

 

[Narly Bird]

John Maddman is up for the fortnightly POTD, but if anyone else is interested in having a go at it, i would be happy to share the role.

Its got to be one of the easiest commitments for someone looking to join the courier, as if we share it, it means just 1 article per month. You also get to draw squiggly lines and arrows and things and if you are really nice to Mico Selva, he might just make a youtube clip of the play for you.

 

[Fallowheart]

I had sent John a message the other day that i'll be throwing my hat into the ring for this.
We'll see how it goes.

 

[Nikolai II]

John Maddman is up for the fortnightly POTD, but if anyone else is interested in having a go at it, i would be happy to share the role.

Its got to be one of the easiest commitments for someone looking to join the courier, as if we share it, it means just 1 article per month. You also get to draw squiggly lines and arrows and things and if you are really nice to Mico Selva, he might just make a youtube clip of the play for you.

Could you also try use any assistance and to make it a weekly instead?

Or does too little happen? (Maybe make it a weekly thing, but delayed one week from the match - that way match report writers could note weird stuff as well?)

 

[crimsonsun]

I would be willing to have a pop, go to the link in my sig to see how I write, some of the posts have piss poor editing and grammar, but that is something I have removed in the later posts. If you like it, and you still need assistance let me know what you need from me.

Crimsonsun

 

[Narly Bird]

Great to have you on board Crimsonsun. I'll leave it to JM or one of the other courier peeps to PM you the CCC details.

If anyone else is interested, be sure to apply. Given the large size of the cup this season we need all the help we can get.

 

[Citizen Nev]

So much foolish fresh meat ready to be exploited with harsh deadlines, harsher editting and harshest pay.

Shit I didn't mean to type that out loud

How do you edit posts?

I've learnt nothing it seems !

 

[John McGuirk]

Oi! Back in your box, you!

 

[crimsonsun]

Lol pfft, I will be paying you for the pleasure of my company anyway, though its about time I started making a few small donations to the various leagues I participate in. Only fair to chuck a few quid to each of them every few months.

Edit all you like, my spelling and grammar is appalling! Dead Lines, as long as I have the ability to ask for a lighter assignment if i have a horrible work load on that week, otherwise I am pretty damn punctual!

Crimsonsun

 

[John McGuirk]

You've read the latest finale! You've taken the survey! You've bought the Gutrog Word-Knower Eat Off My Face™ tableware set with matching candelabra! NOW! For the first time EVER since the last time we tried this, yours is the unique and time-limited opportunity to join our team, as:

The Courier is once again seeking new applicants!​

The Crunch Cup is set to leap to over 80 coaches this season, which is higher than most of our writers can count to. With the promise of so much vitalising violence and commendable carnage on which to report, even such titans of industry as ourselves must confess to fears about being short-staffed.

Now that isn't a veiled dig at our Halfling employees; perish the thought! Rather, it's an overt one. Those stubby buggers need to pull their sticky fingers out.

So we're throwing open the doors (figuratively speaking; we can't actually afford doors) to the public and inviting you all inside! Be careful where you tread, though, Gutrog still hasn't washed out the carpets. So come one, come all, and begin your careers of limitless opportunity* at the Crunch Cup Courier!

Our offices, yesterday. ​

Currently we are looking for new hands to help with the following:

Match reports,
All-new features and articles,
Did you know.. trivia, notices, and other bits of nonsensical ephemera.

If you think you might be capable of cranking out any of the above for our weekly editions, or indeed anything else that might fill up a page or two, our representatives want to hear from you! Just reply to this thread, or get in touch via PM, and before you know it they'll be all over you like a harem of bloodlusty harpies!

But their ardour won't last forever! Enlist today to avoid disappointment!

* Careers of limitless opportunity subject to the usual statutes and limitations. Does not encompass the opportunity to be paid, promoted or otherwise recompensed for services rendered to the Courier. 'Career' is used in the colloquial sense and is not a promise to which the Courier can be held accountable at employment tribunal or court of law.