The fabulous tales of the Limp-Wristed Elf Lords

[bathoz]

Do you know what's annoying?

Sinclair, my sneaky git, dirty player rolled an 11. +AG. I passed on it for dodge. And am now deciding whether to cut him or not. Alongside Sir Terrance (as mentioned above).

I played against Akkedis's White Faces. Orcs. Not high skill.

He played super cautiously, which let me just push onto him pretty much at the time of my choosing - which resulted in a fairly simple 3-0.

Next up is Kawira again. It's a pity these 'easy' games weren't more spaced out so I could use them as recover games. But then again, I'll probably take huge casualties from failed dodges or something.

It's worth mentioning the positions everyone is in as we come into the final stretch.

Unimaginable Scale - Lizard - Ruiner - 20 pts, +11 TD Diff
Skull Crushers Squad - Norse - Ghoulchewer - 19 pts, 5 TDD
Elf Lords - Elf - Me - 18 pts, 10 TDD
Nasty Cheese Nurglers - Nurgle - Nod_Hero - 15 pts, 5 TDD
Dawg Mountain Raiders - Orc - Fluidwill - 11 pts, 0 TDD

And the rest.

Everyone has basically the same sort of run in. I'm still to play the others in the top 4 once each. Frankly, Ghoulchewer looks most likely for the title, as he's still pretty much completely healthy, and isn't taking any damage. Still, I'm in it, and with elves you can pretty quickly go on a winning streak.

 

[bathoz]

For shits and giggles. Here's Kawira's team. He's very new. I feel bad. I my last game I taught him about tacklezones and dodging. Before he though it was just a straight roll.

 

[Blasscend]

Dp on a GR. Okay. That's new.

 

[bathoz]

Right. I've got an skill question I actually have no idea where to go on.

Sir Simon is one of my main ball hunters - an elf catcher and has just reached 76spp.

8 3 4 7 Wrestle, dodge, tackle, Side Step (And, of course, catch, NOS)

Good player. Does the job. Really needs leap, strip ball, or something of the sort. Be even better at popping the ball free.

Except he's rolled 5+5.

Humph.

Guard? Always good. Except he's a catcher and got wrestle. It would make the recent loss of one of my lineman guards hurt less (and the inevitable loss of AV 6 Sir Terrance).

MB? I think I've got plenty for elves at the moment (on two players)

Grab? It's interesting. Breaking other peoples setups, pushing ball carriers into good places to drop the ball and setting up frenzies. Though, I imagine grab isn't so useful in cages, as your options are limited.

+MV? Speed is good. Especially for the surprise sacking.

+AV? He's got 4 skills, pretty much all his toolbox. Going to AV 8 will add a not insignificant amount of survivability (and ensure he dies in the next game).

A normal skill? But which one?

 

[NodHero]

Take the Movement.

 

[Yeti]

Take the Movement.

....

Second

 

[Blasscend]

I third that. Also, don't misclick. Av 8 catchers...well except you want an expert for hero plays, lol.

 

[danton]

Ma 9 is where it's at!

 

[SorroW]

Dito.

MA9 is too awesome to pass up!

/SorroW

 

[bathoz]

The Rematch versus Ruiner's Unimaginable Scale
aka, what happens when both sides roll good dice.
​

Before the game, he was in 1st place two points ahead of me - and was the only team to beat me so far this season.

I went into the game missing my most competent line-elf. He was missing a skink. With 4 games left in the season, it was big boy pants time.

He won the toss and kicked to me, so not a great start. He left the wings open, so I set up split, to throw 4 catchers into his backfield and pretty much guarantee a score. Of course (OF COURSE) Ru then got a perfect defense. Even better, he got perfect defense, pushing most of his Sauri up to give me unfavourable blocking matchups. Even, even better: the kick lands deep in the end zone.

I faffed around on the line - thinking about setting up a surf he'd left open for me, but - in the end - deciding it was too much effort. I cleared people off lizards, shifted around, and got a single elf into the backfield, before (with a couple of elves still in contact) going to pick up the ball with The Fool's King.

1. Of course. I took a risk. I didn't reroll. Of course that mean the ball went into the crowd, and then was thrown way up-field. Damnit. Ruiner's Lizard were all over it. Getting tacklezones on people who could cover it, and a saurus and two skinks around the ball (picked up by a sure feet, sure hands skink). Except, he miscalculated the coverage.

Fonsy hit the ball carrier and freed the ball. The Fool's King scooped it, tossed it two squares right to my other thrower, who ran up field. Handoff to a catcher who legged it downfield. Can elves recover or what? What followed was a few turns of dicking around, which resulted in a BH skink and the like. I scored in turn 4.

At that point Ruiner said "Man. No elf blood on the turf. This isn't going well." If you've ever played elves, you fear someone pointing out the lack of damage to your guys, because nuffle notices.

And he did, and how.

Still, my new MV 9 ballsacker paid off immediately. A deep kick was fumbled by his sure hands skink. The extra movement let me get a hit on him, and kill him. Boom.

Two elves around the ball, 2-0. Easy.

Except... no. It wasn't. It should have been. But it wasn't. And turn after turn Ruiner slowed me down. Knocked the ball out. Fetched it with his MV9, AG4 skink. Ducked and rolled. I eventually had a rerollless dodge to score, but instead went for a more complicated move for a 2d block instead. Except... I miscounted a guard and it would have been 1d anyway. So I went for the dodge at the end and rolled 1.

1-0 at half time. With three elves missing the second half after being badly hurt. That left me with 9 on the pitch. He had a full 4 skinks to play with, though missing some of his more skilled one. A thrown rock turned that into 3 pretty much immediately, KOing one.

The second half went about as badly as I can imagine. Elves just left the field with regularity. Rerolls were wasted. I mistakenly hit the end turn button on my first turn of the half without moving a single elf. Which is not a great way to start a half.

I was never in the half - Ruiner kept out manoeuvering me. Eating my rerolls. Taking out my elves. But he was playing for the draw - playing to keep the top position, instead of risking going for the win. And so, while I wasn't getting at the ball, I was removing skinks. Until, quite surprisingly, only the ball carrier was a skink with ball.

And two turns of insanely high risk blitzes freed the ball and stunned the skink. I then fouled the skink out (using a 3 skill catcher, sometimes these risks are worth it).

I couldn't get the ball upfield to score back (4 elves, all heavily marked by tackle sauri don't move well), but he had two shots to pick up the ball with a saurus, and failed both.

1-0, final score.

I've never been so outplayed in a half, and not lost it.

But now I'm top of the table. Yay. With no extra injuries. Double yay. And skill rolls coming up on kicker (dodge, or tackle/strip ball to be a safety) and the AV6 blodge, guard catcher. (Err... dunno).

 

[bathoz]

Skills are in.

Sir Terrance (Blodge, Guard AV6 catcher) rolled a normal skill. Side step is my gut reaction. I just don't have the guard to fire him yet. Still, he'll be naturally selected into retirement soon.

Mitchell (Wrestle, kick lineman) rolled an 11. I'm divided on this. AG 5 is stunning. But I don't really want him on the field on offense. Then again, Pro Elves tend to only play about two turns of offense per game - the rest on D. The boring alternates are dodge, tackle or strip ball.

 

[NodHero]

Sidestep on the Guarder.
Tackle on the line elf. He's a "safety" anyway as he's your kicker, give him the backfield defensive skills to make him a good one. Otherwise, with him having Wrestle, that would mean putting a 5 AG on the ground begging to be fouled.


Your Pelves and my Nurgle got a "Really Big Game" next week, batboy, looking forward to it!

 

[bathoz]

Well, as people looking one post up might have gathered, it's Nod_Hero next.

Not going to do a massive preview because the matchup is fairly obvious. Survive. Stop him scoring. Win. Stay top of the league.

I've got a clean bill of health, so does he.

I will note that his beast is terrifying - yet completely funked out in our last game. I won't be so lucky this time around.

Also, he was two great ball-handlers. I'd love to put them in the ground early. But that's going to be easier said than done.

Still haven't picked my skills, but I have favourites. I just hate the idea of turning down +AG on a team that has never seen an 11.

 

[bathoz]

Well, that went badly.

Really, really badly.

I received, and by the start of my turn 3 I was out of catchers (he got a blitz). By turn 5 I was down to 4 elves on the field. Somehow, in turn five I threw the ball the length of the field and was a 2+ (with dodge) roll from scoring. Which failed. Similarly, somehow I stopped him scoring in that first half.

My last turn where I did anything in the game was turn 14. That was to roll an elf over.

1-0 loss. Pitch cleared. Son of a B. The dodge thrower killed, and Willard taking -MV.

Except then Cyanide intervened and lost the game.

I'm not replaying the game, because I'll win. I know I'll win. That's how luck works. So I've offered him the concession. Losing out on 8 spp and the money is slightly annoying, but not losing 1.25 elves is a reasonable gain, I guess. And my opponent really deserves the win.

Sigh.

 

[bathoz]

First versus second. Last game of the season. For the title. No pressure.

My opponent. A little light on kill (but more than enough for Pro elves, let's be frank), but extremely high on speed and agility for a norse team.

He's missing his star killer (who has not taken an injury all season despite being a wanted man). I'm missing my star ball hunter, Sir Wally - see page 1 for my current team.

There are going to be about 100tv inducements in it. So, here's the question: Bribe, and try and foul out the piling on werewolf, babes to try and get elves back on the field, or apo to save someone early?

PS. A draw is no good for me.

 

[bathoz]

I lost that game going for the win. And then lost the very, very easy first round play-off game by a horrific margin. (No seriously, what the hell dice?)

Anyway. Blood and Snot is re-organising into a much more sensible tiered system - and giving a once off "bring back an old team" amnesty. I am captain indecisive when it comes to team choice. Admiral Indecisive, in fact.

Do I keep playing the Elf Lords or do I return to the Bloodeagles (a Dark Elf team)? I must know what you think.

Pros for the Pros

• Fun!
• No other pro elves in the league. But an increasing mix of passing teams.
• Guards.
• Lady-Boy Lou could be a lot of fun if I remember he has AG 5.
• So much money

Cons for the Pros

• The catchers are in a sorry state
• Under-good thrower. (He's got a new skill. But it's a skill)
• They've been terminally unlucky for a season now. My last team that got into a bad luck spiral never recovered. (See the Hail Marys)

versus

Yay Eagles

• Fun!
• I have a daftly high win-rate with Dark Elves. I can't last, but I am very good at them. And they're a good team to start with.
• POMB blitzer. Who will die after one game.
• Good mix of speed
• Suit my over aggressive defensive style

Boo Eagles

• No guard is a problem.
• Under-developed linemen.
• The only way is down.

Who do I pick!?

WHo would you pick?!

 

[Boffa]

As much as I love pro elves if you want to win your darkies look like a better squad. Too many injuries on those pros.. nothing that couldn't be sorted with some trimming and fresh blood though you do have the gold!

I'd sack Mort Zorath on the next lino normal skill and get a new kicker.

 

[danton]

Dump the Pros and bring back the Darkies.

Of course, I might be biased...

 

[bathoz]

I missed a super obvious point.

I love throwing the ball. I love pocket tactics. And the challenge of stalling in those situations. So, for at least another season, the Elf Lords it is.

I'm going to do a big "what's going on with the next season", but I've got two obvious challenges in my near future.

One: My catcher pool is not looking super strong. As soon as I've gotten a virgin catcher up to one or two skills, Sir Terrance is fired (though he'll probably be level 6 by then, stupid catchers being in good positions).

Two: My throwers are underwhelming. The Fool's King is now dodge, accurate, safe throw, skill - either block, catch or sure hands. He's developing into more of a pocket thrower than a long bomber. Jumping Jack played about 13 games last season and got 5 spp. I'm going to have to start using him as a bridging passer more and hope for doubles. Because a strong arm/accurate thrower is just a completely different animal.

Three: I'm considering sacking Sinclair. DP/SG and dodge is just too much bloat. Or is it. Opinions on a postcard.

 

[crimsonsun]

I am no Elf coach, but I can actually see the value of Sinclair on your squad (though I am still dubious about sneaky git but on Elves i can see its value easier), the player has other rolls he can fill, he still has Ag 4, and dodge, with the addition of block or wrestle he becomes solid and yet he provides an options to help you remove problem players...

Thats my post card...