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Wood Elf [BC] Cedarwood Cricket Club

Discussion in 'Team Blogs' started by Silfir, Nov 19, 2014.

  1. Silfir

    Silfir Member

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    I'll totally name new members of the Cricket Club after everyone's favorite cricketeers. Keep 'em coming!

    ---​

    Crunch!

    The members of the Cedarwood Cricket Club suddenly turned their faces towards the corner, where a pile of ripped apart linen, spilling wool and splintered wood, formerly a training dummy, slumped to the floor. Garefiel hummed and proceeded to broom up the remains. Shaking off a cold shiver, they resumed their work.

    Dun threw open the doors of the official meeting hall of the Cedarwood Cricket Club, or in more mundane terms, the barn. "All right, lads, meeting-" His eyes grew wide. "What are you doing?"

    Alawen went beet red and hid something behind his back. "We thought we could make this place a little..."

    "You know... more like back home."

    Dun stared at the bales of hay, covered all over with the most colorful arrangement of flowers. "How did you get these?"

    "We're wood elves!" protested Alawen.

    "Sure we are, but nothing grows around here for us to find! It's not like we shi- excrete flowers!" Dun narrowed his eyes. "Is that why there's almost nothing left in the treasury?!"

    The silence told the truth better than words.

    "So you, a bunch of wood elves, went into town and bought flowers from humans? Are you trying to embarrass the entirety of our people?"

    "We wore disguises!" protested Rhee Kipontinn.

    "Magnificent. What kind of disguises?"

    Rhee proudly held aloft a patch made of tied-together black hair and held it above his upper lip.

    "Oh, for crying out loud."

    "Well, have you ever seen an elf with facial hair, let alone a moustache as unkempt as this one? Clearly wearing this I would be utterly indistinguishable from your average human."

    "Rhee, get over here."

    Rhee eyed Dun warily, but slowly stepped closer until he was within arm's reach, trying to find something to read in his captain's completely blank expression. "What-"

    Dun grabbed him by the ears and pulled.

    "Ow!"

    "Anyway..." Dun sighed. "I suppose it's about right for us. They are very pretty. And we're going to have to start earning money anyway." He held aloft a sheet of paper. "I have with me here the schedule for our first season here in Ostland. We don't really have time to talk about all of it, but we do have to talk about our first opponent. It's a team that calls itself Fendship is Magic."

    "Are they orcs?" asked Giac, shivering.

    "...Undead?"

    "Cultists of Khorne?"

    "Nurgle?!"

    "Khemri?!"

    "D-d-dwarves?" A collective gasp went through the Club. One of the lineselves fainted.

    "Says here they're a team of Amazons. A warlike culture of Human women."

    Silence again. One by one, the eyes of the Cricket Club wandered over to Wilien Gilbereth and Garefiel, who as usual paid little attention to the meeting. Wilien Gilbereth was hoisting dumbbells, whistling, while Garefiel hummed a little song while she sowed the obliterated training dummy back together.

    One of the lineselves raised his hand.

    "Yes, Rahul?"

    "I don't suppose we could play against some dwarves instead...?"

    ---​

    Not much for me to do in this match but hang on and not get utterly destroyed. 230k inducements are waiting to be wasted on ineffectual things. Wizard + Babe? Eldril Sidewinder? Mercenary tree to hide behind...?
     
    Last edited: Nov 23, 2014
  2. Nikolai II

    Nikolai II Super Moderator Moderator

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    Since your team is completely new, how about apothecary and something?

    If you want to have weird fun, sack your Thrower and rehire as a lineman to up your inducements to 250 (it works since you haven't played a single game yet) and get apothecary + wizard.
     
  3. Silfir

    Silfir Member

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    "Alright guys, we can do this. Just make sure not to get too close. We'll wait and see and get our chance!"

    Subdued murmurs of affirmation ensued from the rest of the team.

    Something poked Duneld in the thigh. He looked to the side, confused, then down, and found the referee glaring at him from below. "Can I... help you?"

    "Gotta be three of youz on the line of scrimmage."

    Duneld gulped. "Really?"

    "Really."

    "All right... Any volunteers?" In the midst of the noise of the stadium, an almost supernatural pocket of silence formed around the Cricket Club.



    Duneld, Sajeynten and Vivyen, by virtue of being "the ones who got us all into this mess", were left staring the fearsome Amazons in the faces.

    One of them smiled, be it barely visible below her skull helmet.

    Sajeynten smiled back, uneasily.

    The whistle blew, and the smiling Amazon lunged...



    "Aaaaaaaargh!"

    Next to stretchers full of injured elves, a solitary figure stood, puffing a cigar.

    "Shouldn't you, um... do something?" whispered Alawen, the first elf to have left the field.

    "Nah, he's fine." Puff. "Just badly hurt."

    "You know, an exact diagnosis would be far more likely to set my mind at ease. 'Badly Hurt' doesn't sound reassuring."

    The cigar-smoking man rolled his eyes. "If you're gonna be the apothecary around here, apparently you don't need me."

    "My hand! My hand!" came a yell in the distance.

    [​IMG]

    "We were seven at the start of the second half? Seven?!"

    Smoke rings wafted through the air. "Yeah, good thing your buddy got up while you were counting stars. Would've been six otherwise."

    "And you did nothing? "

    "Sure I did. I diagnosed. Nothing worth spending my juice on."

    "Shewynn's hand is smashed!"

    "Yeah, he'll have to sit the next one out."

    "He's our Thrower!"

    "Your one dude threw two passes just fine."

    "But!"

    "Listen here." A cigar stump was flicked to the side to sizzle down on the stone floor. "Not sure what sport you grew up playing, but this is Blood Bowl. I've seen much, much worse than what you took today. If you're still breathing and haven't broken any of the crucial bones in your flimsy elven bodies, I'm not going to waste my time. 'Cause the match is long, and when of your 'dancers, who incidentally are the only players worth anything in your sorry lot, gets a sudden case of the dying close to the end and I've wasted my time kissing your little boo-boos, I just know you're gonna come crying to me." He turned. "I've got my money, so I'm off. See ya, maybe."

    Dun glared at him, but he felt a hand on his shoulder.

    Saj shook his head. "He's right, you know. Wilien and Garyfiel were the only ones those Amazons were even slightly afraid of. If we lose either of them, we're not just going to lose one game, we're going to lose the entire season. Wardancers don't grow on trees." He eyed the apothecary with tentative admiration. "He could've just healed Alawen early in the first half, taken his money, and left. But he was there right until the end, thinking about what was best for our team. You've got to respect that."

    "We've got our winnings!" yelled Rahuyl, coming out of the league official's tent. He was all smiles.

    Saj rolled his eyes. "He's going to be unbearable for days."

    "Hoi, Dun! Oh, I wish you could have seen it! That Amazon came rushing at me, all like 'rooooaaaar', but I fended her off valiantly, and then I-"

    "The winnings, Rahuyl." Saj didn't care to mention that the Amazon Rahuyl had so valiantly fended off (if "valiantly" was another word for "while whimpering for mommy and closing one's eyes") had in actual fact just tripped over her own feet.

    "Oh right!" Rahuyl looked inside the bag. "They said we gave the crowd pretty damn good entertainment for a rookie team and they're looking forward to more great matches. Something like 50k in there."

    Dun's ears twitched at those last words. He turned around to see the dour cigar-smoking apothecary trod off into the distance. "Wait!"



    ---​



    In the end, I think it went about as well as I could have hoped! I couldn't bring myself to fire Shewynn from an RP standpoint, so I started the match with an apo and a reroll, figuring that while a Wizard might give me a better shot at an upset, it was probably more important to lower the risk of debilitating injuries.

    Defense in the first half was pretty rough, and lots of great injury rolls left me several elves down by the time the second half began. The only time I was able to blitz a ballcarrier with a full block die was on my very first turn, and it came up push; after that, Juriel was much more careful about keeping his ball carrier surrounded by Guard at all times, and so the first half could only end with him 1-0 up. My offense went fairly well, considering the circumstances; I was able to run and pass around a lot of on-rushing Amazons and still score, and fairly late, on turn 12 I believe, though of course I would have had to stall for much longer to keep nine Amazons from scoring with only six elves.

    I didn't score any casualties (two Amazons were KOd in the second half), but Sajeynten completed two passes, Rahuyl scored a TD and Viv, who was pounded off the field Badly Hurt in turn three of the first half, scored an MVP for his valiant, if short-lived performance. No skill-ups, but I can buy an apo and no one got permanently injured or killed. Huzzah!
     
    Last edited: Nov 29, 2014
  4. Barristan

    Barristan Member

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    Love the fluff, this is going to console me of Remthar's break :) Keep it up, this is a great blog.
     
  5. Silfir

    Silfir Member

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    If there's an inkling of the greatness of the Greater Ulthuan Heroes found somewhere in this blog, I should die happy.

    If it's true that I won 50k off that loss, hiring the apothecary is the natural thing to do; just wondering what a proper name for him would be...
     
  6. danton

    danton Well-Known Member

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    Just wanted to say I'm enjoying your blog so far and it is indeed as much fun as Remthar's blogs (high praise indeed)! :)
     
  7. Silfir

    Silfir Member

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    1st Round: Juriel's Fendship is Magic, Amazon, TV 20% cooler
    2nd Round: St. Cloud's Great Fighting Cats, Norse, TV 1410
    3rd Round: Big Grudge's Legend of the Asur, High Elf, TV 1280
    4th Round: Everblue's There is no Spoon, Goblin, TV 950
    5th Round: Edjapo's Souleaterz, Undead, TV 1600



    "Please stop writing them down," mumbled Dun. "It doesn't help. You're just depressing people."

    Shewynn Warunn, the ashen-haired thrower, stared gloomily at his bandaged writing hand.

    Saj was defiant. "Well, we're going to have to play them either way. Why not mentally prepare ourselves?"

    "We've all drawn up our wills. That's about as much mental preparation as most of us can stand." Dun pointed at the sheet of paper. "Those Great Fighting Cats. I don't know what kind of cat people they are, but I'm betting they can eat us for breakfast and have the touchdowns for supper."

    "They're Norse, actually."

    "Boars? That's even worse." Dun smacked his hand against the side of his head. "Damn ears are still ringing."

    "Norse. That's mostly Humans from the same ethnical background as the Amazons, plus werewolves and a snow troll, or yhetee."

    "Can't hear a damn thing today. Did you just say werewolves?" Dun shook his head. "I thought those were the Great Fighting Cats."

    "They've all re-named themselves after feline predators. Including the wolves and the yhetee. Maybe it's a ploy to appear more fearsome and ferocious to their opponents."

    "That's silly," said Duneld Bradmyn. "We're just going to keep our true-blooded elvish names, thank you very much."

    "Guys," asked Viv, "shouldn't we maybe come up with a strategy of some sort?"

    "Our strategy is to run from them whenever we can, fall gracefully when they punch us in the face and hope that Garyfiel and Wilien will come up with something," said Dun.

    Silence ensued.

    "I don't want to sound like a buzzkill, Dun, but I think it might be time we hire some sort of coach."
     
  8. kopmcginty

    kopmcginty Member

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    See it's threads like this and the Heroes that means I'm not going for humour in mine. Some people just do it better. Great reading so far.
     
  9. Silfuin

    Silfuin Well-Known Member

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    Agreed, Remthar's blog is down, so is the Crush of Night, my two favourites but this blog is on par with them.
    Keep writing, you're entertaining us all.
     
  10. Nikolai II

    Nikolai II Super Moderator Moderator

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    Perhaps something wood-themed was why the Cedarwood club picked him up?

    (Or he just takes a fake name for a reason or another) ;)

    [​IMG]

    (Also, great talespinning :))
     
  11. Silfir

    Silfir Member

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    "Great News, Mr. Flint! We have a coach now!"

    "Just Flint," grumbled the dour apothecary, who sat on the sidelines, staring out onto the field. Spectators were already gathering on the stands. "Also, do you now. Let's see."

    Flint turned. His cigar slipped out of the corner of his mouth and fell on the floor.

    "Hi," said the coach uneasily, a grubby-looking human in shoddy clothing.

    "Rahuyl! Get on the field!" came Viv's yell.

    "Coming!" yelled Rahuyl, and smiled at the two freshly acquainted humans encouragingly before running down to join the others in the warm-up routine.

    Chilling silence followed. Flint stared at the newcomer, who withered under it, second by second, much like the cigar still lying on the floor.

    "You're a hobo," Flint sighed. "Those elves just hired a hobo to be their coach."

    "Sorry," mumbled the coach, shivering.

    Flint shrugged. "Eh, it's fine. I didn't think they'd find anyone stupid enough to do the job at all."

    ---​

    "My wood elven brethren! I am honored to join you today!" exclaimed Eldril.

    "Not honored enough not to take all of that money," mumbled Saj. "Also, Dun, are you sure about that wizard?" he added, pointing towards a robed figure on the sidelines, feverishly studying a book. "He seemed... kind of nervous."

    "It's fine, Saj, have a little trust in people," said Dun. "Besides, he doesn't really have to do all that much. He will strike fear into the hearts of our opponents anyway."

    "And what about her?" Viv said, eyeing the busty woman standing next to a keg of beer.

    "Well, after I ordered the extra medical supplies just in case, I had some money left over, and that was one of the options."

    "I like her," said Garyfiel and waved. The Babe smiled and waved back.

    The male members of the Cricket Club let out a collective sigh.

    "All right, let's not all get killed. And if you get the ball, run for your lives."

    ---​

    [​IMG]



    A cracking spectacle that truly could have ended either way.

    The elves won the toss and elected to kick, staying bunched up tight to minimize early enemy contact. They managed to avoid early injury and dodged out of contact - for a little while. Then, with the support of Eldril and the rather loose screen the ball carrier was hiding behind, the wood elves managed to knock the ball loose for the first time. Wild scuffles for the ball followed; the wood elves didn't manage to get the ball under control, while the Norse failed to inflict permanent injuries despite their many blocks and knockdowns.

    In turn 5 or so, the Wizard had come down for the Wood Elves, hitting five players and doing no damage whatsoever, and the Norse made a run for it... But they did not quite mange to outrun Eldril and the linemen, who managed to dislodge the ball again, which was picked up by a Runner - who then failed a gfi twice for a turnover.

    It was the second-to-last turn of the half - and Eldril was close to the ball. Proving himself worthy of the gold lavished on him, he picked the ball up despite the tackle zone, passed it to a lineman waiting close to the halfway line, who then made a run for it - and the only Norse in range to do anything about it was then swiftly marked by three more of the elves. One turn and a Lonered Both Down 3d-block by the Yhetee later, the wood elves were able to score on turn 8 to end the first half with a major upset.

    The second half, on the other hand, laid their lack of experience bare. Suffering a double fail on a Wardancer dodge, the exposed ball-holding elf was brought down and the revenge TD ran in by a Blodge-sidestepping Runner (attempts to bring him down having failed), and several KOs were added to the toll as the drive was restarted at 1-1 and with far fewer elves on the field. Nevertheless, the Norse were now completely focused on keeping the elves from scoring the lead again, and left the ball-carrying wardancer unmolested while they bunched up around the potential receivers: The other Wardancer was fouled off the pitch, and Eldril was surrounded by no less than seven Norse players - and then proceeded to dodge out of the gaggle and place himself for a TD again, alongside the elves rushing into the Norse half.

    On the next turn, after much defensive maneuvering the lead (and at this stage, perhaps likely victory) came down to a 4+ Throw to Eldril with reroll... But the Wardancer rolled a fumble, and that was that. She got up after getting rushed down by the Norse and picked it up again, but to no avail - though on the bright side, time had advanced sufficiently that the Norse had no hope of scoring left either.



    It might be that they're wearing plot armour - despite suffering no less than eight knockouts, not one of those was enough to cause an injury on any of the Wood Elf players. Only Vivyen suffered a Badly Hurt trying to Dodge out of the way. If they had scored injuries at the expected rate, the result of this match might have looked very different indeed... Everyone's just fine, and I get a point. Success!

    This is the first time I've induced Eldril, and I see little reason not to do it again in the future. The Wizards and the apos did fuck all throughout, and even the Babe barely helped.

    The Cricket Club scored its first skill roll, a normal, with Rahuyl Deravid scoring both the only casualty of the match (seriously) and an MVP to make 10 total. It's between Kick and Wrestle. I'm leaning towards the latter.
     
    Last edited: Dec 5, 2014
  12. kopmcginty

    kopmcginty Member

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    I'm a big fan of Eldril + wizard. Pass block can be underestimated or forgotten about entirely and hypno is awesome, even just as a threat. Add a wizard and its real tough to keep any elf team from the ball let alone one with leaping dancers.

    Edit.. Depending on the amount of tackle around I've been leaning towards dodge as first skill. Protection and repositioning.
     
  13. Nikolai II

    Nikolai II Super Moderator Moderator

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    Technically a tramp, this hobo came to mind. :p

    [​IMG]

    The babe wasn't very impressed with the coach, what with all the fine cricketeers around.

    [​IMG]

    Aanyway, still liking your writing. :D
     
  14. Silfuin

    Silfuin Well-Known Member

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    eh, how not to envy you, I lost to st cloud all the times we met ... that is just two, all in all not much.
    But still, congratulations for the draw again a tough opponent.
     
  15. Nikolai II

    Nikolai II Super Moderator Moderator

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    (Sorry about the picture spam by the way. I'm not usually like this, but your storytelling gives me these visuals :eek:)
     
  16. Silfir

    Silfir Member

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    You already gave my a name for my apothecary. Just keep doing what you're doing!
     
  17. St Cloud

    St Cloud Well-Known Member

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    Three my friend. Three. :D
     
  18. Silfuin

    Silfuin Well-Known Member

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    Ah darn, my mind doesn't want to remember ...
     
  19. Nikolai II

    Nikolai II Super Moderator Moderator

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    Ok, as long as you keep doing what you are doing. :D
     
  20. Silfir

    Silfir Member

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    "Alright, coach, what did you need me for?" asked Rahuyl.

    The coach scratched his head. It could have been interpreted as a nervous gesture, if it weren't for the lice. "Well, I've watched you practice for a while. In this sport you've played that you've told me is not named after an insect, how often did you use your feet?"

    "Oh, all the time! Running, fielding, footwork while batting... Agility and speed are everything for us!"

    "No, I mean, like... kicking."

    Rahuyl stared. "We keep telling you, there is no fighting in cricket."

    "I know, but-"

    "Or brawling, or punching, or messing up, or rough-housing, or thrashing, or loodering, or busting up, or going medieval, or ass-whooping..."

    "Yes..."

    "Physical violence of any kind is prohibited by the laws of cricket. I understand if that's hard to adjust to-"

    "The ball, Rahuyl," snapped the coach. He wasn't particularly in the mood to relive the rest of his first day at the Cricket Club's practice field.

    The elf gave a blank stare. The coach sighed. He indicated an oval shape with his hands, and lifted his right leg awkwardly towards it, as if to indicate physical impact. Rahuyl blinked in confusion. "Kick the ball?"

    So that's a No, noted the coach. Well, there was a first time for everything. "That's right. You've played two matches so far, so didn't you kick off a couple of times already to start your opponents' drives?"

    "Well, yes," said Rahuyl.

    "Notice how the ball just flew kind of awkwardly in a wild direction?"

    "It's not supposed to do that?"

    "What I want you to do, Rahuyl, is practice kicking the ball. At least enough so you can place it roughly within a quarter of the opponent's half of the pitch." The coach whistled towards some of the other lineselves, caught the ball thrown towards him, and handed it to Rahuyl.

    "Okay..." Rahuyl stared forlornly at the object in his hands. "I mean, sure, I can try, coach, but... Do you really think that's something I can learn?"

    "Come, now, by my count you've received an MVP award, scored one Touchdown and given a norseman a bloody nose when he tripped over his feet and rammed face-first into your shoulder, so this should be well within your abilities."

    Rahuyl's confusion had now increased to mystical levels. "What does any of that have to do with kicking the ball?"

    The coach snickered. "Didn't I tell you to research some of the league's history?"

    "Yes..."

    "Didn't you notice that the players who scored many touchdowns, received lots of awards and caused the most injuries are always some of the most skilled members of their teams?"

    "Yyyyeeeees..." Rahuyl added, carefully.

    "There you go, then!" The coach beamed, glad to have finally reached his destination.

    "But... isn't that kind of backwards? Don't players score touchdowns and MVPs and injuries because they're already skilled?"

    Silence followed, as the coach stared, completely flabbergasted, into Rahuyl's earnestly questioning eyes. He slowly raised a hand to support his forehead and let out a deep, soul-emburdening sigh.

    'Flint wasn't kidding. These elves have no clue about anything.'
     
    Last edited: Dec 7, 2014