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BC - Entombed and Exhumed

Discussion in 'Team Blogs' started by hungrygnome, Jun 30, 2013.

  1. hungrygnome

    hungrygnome Member

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    So far we are light on business, having had to cancel the planned funeral services at the d-CON factory for the rats we played. But a nice 2-1 victory, even with the bookie giving 5-1 odds.

    My zombies have a tendency to roll :bothdown: when blocking, but Tyriok still managed to Badly Hurt a rat while avoiding injury to himself. Madjesty, on the other hand, I am deeply disappointed with. He was Badly hurt, and even managed to fail his regeneration roll! Juriel got knocked down, KO'ed, and then tried to tell me he had to stay in the box because he couldnt walk straight!! Youre dead, and with one leg shorter than the other , OF COURSE you cant walk straight! I almost forgave him when he fouled a rat into Badly Hurt on turn 16, but then he got caught!

    After game 1, my ghoul will have 11 SPP, my only skill.
     
  2. LoopH0LE

    LoopH0LE Member

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    Always great to see a Necro team winning in the early stages, especially against Skaven!
     
  3. hungrygnome

    hungrygnome Member

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    The director had called a staff meeting today, likely to go over the recent "fund raiser" that had occurred. While some funds were generated, the fact that no secondary services were required was making Grim Tidings a little nervous. The elves had decided against holding services here, and decided to bury their dead on their own. Silly amateur elves, no one knows more about funerals than the undead, we have been through one our self! Even the chaos dwarf he had talked into purchasing a casket for a team mate had been a no show for today. The Doctor was known to have a quick temper when things didn't go according to plan, proof being the number of closed casket funerals of former interns who had made a "clerical error"; the error being to catch the Doctor on a bad day with bad news.

    As Ironspine shuffled in, his rigid frown looked particularly dejected today. "Cheer up, mate, we all get nervous our first time carrying the ball. Just a bit unlucky that they managed to hit that new leg we just installed. You'll do fine next time."

    "I'm supposed to carry caskets, not balls. No one tries to take a casket from you! And another thing, no one told me a rat was going to try and eat my new leg in the middle of a game! How can you expect me to stay standing with those ravenous monsters biting at me?" Ironspine was desperately trying to defend his actions, and in a near panic to come up with a valid excuse.

    Father Shanks chimed in "Tis is all the will of the Great and Glorious Nuffle. And if Doc does give you lip about it, just remind him that even that fleshy we have on the team, Glutton, managed to put up a better show the he did. Stayed on the pitch longer too."

    Glutton had been bragging the entire week about how he had won the game, and frankly, Grim was getting sick of hearing it. Eventually he will get hit hard enough to shut him up for good, and Grim was looking forward to not having the stench of dirty corpse eater around. At least souls dont smell, and likely taste much better too.

    As the interns all shambled in, Dr. Highmoon's office door opened and the Doctor entered the room. "You may all be seated, the meeting will begin now. While not as profitable as I had hoped, we still managed to do rather well for ourselves. The crowd was on our side, some rats were hurt, and we won, even though the weather was dismally perfect."

    "Now I am I bit disappointed in Juriel and Madjesty, but I wasn't at the top of my game this week either. Last time I played I was still human, and that was back in college. Tyriok, Glutton, good job to you both; you both performed exceedingly well in your intended purpose. Ironspine, stiffen up a bit, you did fine. I should have anticipated how hungry desperate rats are and remembered how fresh that leg was before giving you the ball. You did manage to take one of them out later on, and thats good enough. And Willy, Im very sorry. I know you worked all night on that hole, and you didn't even get to put anyone in it. Next game we will hopefully do better, but good job to you all! Meeting adjourned."

    Grim was astounded. That punch to the head must have scrambled Doc's brains a bit, he didnt even yell, much less eat anyone. As Dr. Highmoon was entering his office, Grim looked back and caught a quick glimpse of a tall hat on the floor and a short figure tied down in the back of the room. Suddenly, Grim understood why the Doctor was in such a cheerful mood. Apparently the dwarf he had talked into stopping by to look at caskets had actually showed up early, and been unfortunate to meet the Doctor at the door. Hopefully he cleans his own mess up afterwards.
     
    Last edited: Jul 3, 2013
  4. Tyriok

    Tyriok Member

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    Cheering for myself to continue the pain!
     
  5. hungrygnome

    hungrygnome Member

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    so If all goes well, I will hire a wolf after next game. Im trying to decide on a position for him. Im not exactly up on what all is involved in a funeral home, all I can think of is accounting, and that will likely be the second ghouls job. Any suggestions?
     
  6. hungrygnome

    hungrygnome Member

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    Dr. Highmoon hung up the phone and rushed out the door. He had just received a call from the commissioner, and their next match was an interesting one.

    "Willy, wait! Hold up a minute. Dont go filling in that hole yet. In fact, you may need to make it a bit bigger! We have some elves of a darker variety to make arrangements for soon, and the deeper the better. Remind them that they belong underground, alive or dead."

    Dr. Highmoon had a smile all the way back to his office, remembering back to his college days. He had taken Anatomy classes with Madame Svetlana, his opponents witch elf, and remembered her...eccentric tendencies. In fact, there were quite a few members of the college Blood Bowl team that had dated her and gone missing. They were eventually found, although in much smaller pieces than before. Yet she was always cleared, having been with her new "boyfriend" the entire night, or so she says. Likely they would have said anything she asked of them while she beat them bloody, and liked it all the while. She always did like the strange ones. But who is he to speak, considering his own profession.

    Sitting down in his office once again, he bellows "SHANKS, GET IN HERE!" Pulling up the team rosters side by side, he kicks his feet up and gestures for Father McDuffy to sit beside him.

    "What do you think, Father? Could be a tough one."

    "Well, laddy, I think we're going to have to tell the boys to stay away from the sides, seeing as that murderous bit... err... witch elf is going to try and have her way with them right in the crowd. And I always knew that Reverend Roger wasnt a full shilling. Faster then us by a wee bit, but a few good pucks to the gob and that should put the kibosh on that. Either way its going to be a great holy show and a gas to put some in the ground."

    Dr. Highmoon listened closely, having little idea of what Shanks was talking about in his inane babble, but managing to get the general gist of what he was saying. Sidelines are bad and to be avoided, punch them until they go down and stay down. As usual, nothing he couldnt figure out on his own. Though the speed issue will be troubling, as well as the manual dexterity disparity between the teams.

    "Thank you for so eloquently reminding me of the obvious, Father. You may return to your duties. See yourself out and let everyone know that we will have another staff meeting as soon as its inconvenient for everyone."
     
  7. TravelScrabble

    TravelScrabble Well-Known Member

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    I'm growing very fond of Dr highmoon
     
  8. LoopH0LE

    LoopH0LE Member

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    Perhaps a grief counselor? What with all the grief the wolf'll be causing...
     
  9. hungrygnome

    hungrygnome Member

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    "What a Nuffling that was," mumbled Dr. Highmoon. "Apparently Father McDuffy must have have offered up the wrong prayers, because the Great and Glorious Nuffle sure wasnt helping us that game. The interns couldnt keep to their feet, the elves pulled some serious centaur excrement out there, and I couldnt even make my way past a single elf! In the long run, though, we practically walked away with a fortune, considering our winnings and how much that dead elf saved us in hiring another intern. And we do have you on the team now, Mr. Dreadworthy."

    Dreadworthy had been listening to the Doctor rant for awhile now, ever since he had approached him after the game and had his arm nearly bitten off. Luckily the Doctor wasnt in too terrible a mood, and after he finished changing, he was offered a job as consolation.

    "I do appreciate the offer, and hope I can bring something to the establishment. Though I cant imagine what my wife will have to say about the fur. I personally am rather fond of it, as it IS better than the baldness I was experiencing before."

    "We had need of another player, as the less interns on the field the better; and also we could use someone around the office to coordinate between the various "personalities" around here. Some of them dont exactly get along, and I'm sure your new claws will come in handy in mediating any problems that arise. Now, shall we depart for the services? They should be starting any moment now"




    Willy was both happy and sad today. Happy that his hole was getting used, but sad that what he was putting in it was just going to dig itself right back out. Thems the breaks. As Father started services, he saw the Director and the new "coordinator", whatever that is, sit down in the back.

    "We have come here today to remember before Nuffle our new brother Alan Syn-Chaynes. To give thanks for his death, and to commend him to unlife. We shall commit his body to burial, and celebrate his resurrection with open arms."

    Willy didnt like the dirty stares and grumbles some of the Darkies were directing towards Father McDuffy. It was a pretty speech, and he was looking forward to a new face around the office. Those Darkies should just be happy they won the game. It was funny to see Glutton put his dirty feet right into that lady elf's backside and send her out of the game. She wont stop calling him now, and wants to meet up for some "quality time" together. I told him he should pass, Doctor might not like him seeing an elf.

    The fathers speech had ended, and Ironspine was lowering the casket into the ground when the Director called for everyone to huddle around the hole. "Listen up everyone, and that includes you in the box. I am VERY disappointed in you all. Well, most of you. Glutton, once again you proved your worth with giving Madame Svetlana EXACTLY what she likes best: pain. I already took out my ire on Juriel for doing nothing the entire game, yet somehow pleasing the crown enough to be awarded for it. He is busy regenerating now. We put some hurt on those elves, but it wasnt enough. You will all have to do better, or else I will flay you all to shreds, and then send you under Madame Svetlana's revenge fueled whips. Understand? Good. Now make sure those nails arent too tight so he can climb out of there. Ill see you all in the office tomorrow."


    As Willy started to shovel dirt onto the casket, he was glad it wasnt him being used as a scratching post. Doctor has some funny ideas, and he always tries them out on people when hes not happy. Like last week, when he wanted to know if you could sew a dwarfs skin back on before he died. Whatever walked out of his lab that day didnt look much like a dwarf anymore. If it wasnt for the hat, he would have thought it to be a short troll, it was so ugly. But no self respecting troll would wear a hat.
     
    Last edited: Jul 11, 2013
  10. TravelScrabble

    TravelScrabble Well-Known Member

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    I like the Doctor's recruitment strategy, shame he can't put it to any more use.
     
  11. LoopH0LE

    LoopH0LE Member

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    Of all the names you could've gotten from the Adults, Alan's probably the tamest, and works for the best for a Zombie :p
     
  12. Dionysian

    Dionysian Well-Known Member

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    Loophole (paraphrased): Chains are vanilla

    A disturbing insight into Loophole's bedroom
     
  13. hungrygnome

    hungrygnome Member

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    I was hoping for the Reverend actually. Then I could have 2 priests on staff.
     
  14. LoopH0LE

    LoopH0LE Member

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    Uh, er-

    No comment.
     
  15. hungrygnome

    hungrygnome Member

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    Glutton had been ecstatic for almost 2 weeks now. All the touchdowns were his, all the glory was his, and he even got to touch the pretty backside of the lady elf with his foot. He had yet to wash it ever since. After the game was finished, he even had a dead elf to work on, and elf giblets are almost as tasty as halflings. The dead guy didnt need them, and the insides have to come out anyways to do his job, so why let it all go to waste?

    Doc had been upset ever since last week, and VERY touchy, except when with the new furball on the team. It was going to be a lot harder to get a snack with him overseeing the cemetery at night now. It was easy enough to convince Willy he couldn't remember digging a hole, since he only had half a brain anyways, and that one wasn't exactly fresh when he got it.

    Doc had been blabbering on for awhile now, trying to explain to everyone about "practice" and "training". Half the team is bumbling fools who couldn't pick a ball up if their un-life depended on it, and the other half were a bunch of misfits who have no cohesion at all. Especially that Grim Tidings. Must be jealous of my abilities.

    "One moment, I think that is our lovely Overlord Mordachai calling now. Ill be back in a moment."

    Doc went into his office, and after a few minutes, a roar bellowed out from behind the door.

    "DWARVES! EVIL, FOUL, DESPICABLE, MUTATING DWARVES!"

    Doc burst back out of his office suddenly, and he was slobbering. "It seems we need to get down to the stadium quick, that git set us up with Chaos Dwarves to play on short notice. Must be related to that one I rearranged his skin not too long ago. Well boys, lets get moving, time to shred some short legged freaks and trample those stupid hats into the dirt. AND YOU BETTER WIN THIS TIME!!!"

    Glutton fled out the door ahead of everyone else, especially considering if the Doc gets ahold of him, nothing can save him. Time to finally wash his foot. Those smelly bull lovers dont deserve to touch that elfy ladies backside even indirectly.
     
  16. TravelScrabble

    TravelScrabble Well-Known Member

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    Good stuff hg, I want to hear what Alan has to say about his new environment.
     
  17. hungrygnome

    hungrygnome Member

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    As Alan helped carry the Director off the field, Alan started thinking. He had to stop and restart a few times, as he couldn't remember what he had been thinking about. By time he reached the locker room, the Director was starting to come around and he remembered what he had been trying to think about. He had been thinking about when he was an elf still. It was all pretty hazy, but everyone kept telling him that he was much better off now that he was dead, so it must not have been very good. The only thing he can really remember is getting hit a lot by a lady elf. At least now when he gets hit he cant feel it.

    "Alan, is that you? What happened? Did we win? Where are we?"

    "How manee fthingers Doc?" Danton asked.

    "Shut up you lumbering meatbag. Im well enough to see you dont even have your arm on right now. I just dont remember anything after that dirty hobgoblin hit me."

    Dreadworthy distinctly recalls it as the Director hitting the hobgoblin, except he tried to use his head instead of his claws. Now was not the time to correct him though. "We won, sir! Though why did you not score when you had a chance early on, sir?"

    "WOLFSBANE! Those dirty, foul smelling cheaters put WOLFSBANE in the endzone! At least someone trampled enough of it down for me to stand it later on in the game. WHERE IS MADJESTY! GET HIM OVER HERE NOW!"

    Madjesty shambled over and stood sheepishly in front of the Director. "Ish nawt my fawlt! Wha did I doo agan?"

    The Director leaped up roaring. "Not your fault? NOT YOUR FAULT?!?! OF COURSE ITS YOUR FAULT!!! I DIDNT SEE ANYONE ELSE KILL ANYBODY BUT YOU!" A giant grin had spread across the Directors face. "I forgive you and take back what I said about you earlier. Damn fine job recruiting another intern for us within moments of the game starting! What made you hit him so hard?"

    "Well, thur, wen da crowed sturted riotn, I saws da anounzer hitz a ork tween da eyes, an he sopped muvin. So I hitz dat big gubblin in da sam spot."

    "Well then, who would of thought a zombie could learn something, much less from an Ogre at that. Someone remind me to try and find him a tongue somewhere, him talking is like trying to play a slug as a flute. Extremely difficult, and it sounds terrible. Now, lets get back to the office and get that hobgoblin ready to start working. Sorry Shanks, no services for this one. Just a party around the hole that Willy dug, starting at midnight tonight. No Dwarves allowed. JOB WELL DONE, BOYS!"
     
    Last edited: Jul 16, 2013
  18. TravelScrabble

    TravelScrabble Well-Known Member

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    Love it, the zombies are great.
     
  19. hungrygnome

    hungrygnome Member

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    Smux Brainstink hobbled out to the meeting spot. At least it wasnt hard to find, considering all he had to do was follow the big shambling things in front of him. There was a whole horde of them slowly making their way through the graveyard, though he couldnt think as to why they were. In fact, he couldnt think well at all ever since his last game. A quick flash of pain followed by waking up in a dark box was the last thing he could recall. Oh well, must not have been that important anyways.

    Ironspine herded the interns towards Willy, who slowly led all them out to the empty mausoleum that Doc had specified. He had a good idea what this was all about, but wasnt about to speculate on how this would all go down quite yet. With Doc you never knew when his good mood could turn sour. The moon was high in the sky and full, and Doc had the worst mood swings on these nights.

    Dreadworthy was getting a mite impatient waiting on those hideously slow interns to make an appearance. He was not even sure why they had been asked to meet the rest of the team out here, considering the likelihood of them remembering anything said here was almost nonexistent. His wife was waiting for him at home, and it was a dreadfully late hour as is. The missus had taken things rather well, and there were some beneficial side effects to the transformation both he and she were enjoying. In fact, their marriage had not been this good in years! His nights out with the boys, formerly frowned upon, were now seen as necessary to keeping his, and her, health intact. Especially around the full moon. Things got a little bloody around then, and though he had discovered she liked being roughed up a bit, the claws made things a bit chancy.

    Shanks startled awake as the golems and their smaller prodigies arrived. He had a good idea one of the wee ones was going to be told to hump off tonight. Which bloody plonker was going to get put in a dirt scratcher was anybodys guess though. He had 20 quid in the pool that the elf was getting the axe tonight. Hopefully this would be a short chinwag. There was a bottle of whiskey waiting for him back in the chapel.

    The Director stood up and gestured for the interns to sit. "Now that everyone has arrived, this meeting can begin. Its late, and I know you all have things you would rather be doing than being out here in a staff meeting. We have received word on our next game, and its a bunch of walking handbags waiting to be made. Thats right, gentlemen, lizardmen. This will not be easy. They are fast, they are strong, and trying to put them down will not be easy. Ironspine and Willy will be out gunned, and Dreadworthy and myself are matched in speed. We are going to have to hit the little ones hard and often, and you interns are going to be taking hits left and right. Glutton, you need to stay away from the big one. His tail will keep you from getting away easily, and he hits harder than that witch elf you so admire when she has a barbed whip in hand. I dont expect everyone to walk away from this one intact, actually. Get hurt too badly, and you WILL be replaced."

    "Speaking of replacement, that brings us to the other point of tonight. It has come to my attention that there is just not enough around the office to need the support of the current number of interns. One of you will have to be let go. I have thought long and hard about the matter. After much deliberation, I have narrowed it down to two choices. Alan, and our new friend Smux Brainstink. Alan, Madame Svetlana has filed an official complaint with the league and demanded we release you back to them to be buried and put to rest. Though the league has not imposed any sanctions on us yet, there IS now a bounty on my head because of you."

    The director started pacing behind the interns, his claws trailing along the backs of the chairs. "Im flattered a bit that they would consider me dangerous enough to have placed a bounty on me. Im not overly fond of it though, because it does make me a bigger target than I already am."

    Stopping directly behind the chair Alan was sitting in, the Director placed his clawed hands upon his shoulders. "So Alan, I have come to a decision regarding your continuing presence on this team. And I have but one thing to say about it." Lashing out suddenly, the Directors claws ripped half the face off of the Hobgoblin sitting in the next seat.

    "FUCK those elves. You are mine now. And I will proudly parade you in front of them every chance I can. Take this piece of Chaos Dwarf trash, and do whatever you want with it. Its an eyesore, and a reminder of those foul mutants and their hats. Just make sure its no longer in one piece at the end of the night, and deliver the remains to the front door of those dwarves in a fiery bag. Remember, I will personally dismember ANYONE who I feel to be too broken to continue their duties. Now get out of my sight before I get too hungry."

    As Grim fled the scene, he was just happy to have won the bet. Him and Doc had known each other since college, and Doc HATED anything to do with dwarves. It was an easy guess as to who he would get rid of. He was going to take his winnings and buy that monks soul he saw down at the bakers. Tasted like Swiss Chocolate, and low in calories too. He had a date coming up with a banshee, and she would love it. It's good to be undead.
     
    Last edited: Jul 22, 2013
  20. Nikolai II

    Nikolai II Super Moderator Moderator

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    Hey - you killed him, you keep him!