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BC - Greater Ulthuan Heros

Discussion in 'Team Blogs' started by Remthar, Jul 1, 2013.

  1. Remthar

    Remthar Well-Known Member

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    Ok, think I'm going to go chaos then! Looks like the league has a bad chorf problem (Grats by the way Magfa!), and we're going to be the solution! Nurgle just aint doing their part, lazy smelly nurgle... claw more dwarves!

    Have crazy fluff idea, working it out. Not going to be a continuation of Fallen Paladin United though. Something... different.
     
  2. Remthar

    Remthar Well-Known Member

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    What happened to all the Heroes?

    Big Crunch Season 6: The Greater Ulthuan Heroes, a prime mover and shaker in the league, are crumbing in Altdwarf. Shortly into season six, the heroes went quiet, with no public appearances, statements or interviews. Many speculated about problems and personal differences within the Hero camp, and strange rumours started to spread.

    The only signs of life from the Heroes Mansion in Altdwarf were screams in the night, the sounds of melancholic elven music, and also disco. Twice, major explosions were heard from the mansions grounds, the second time accompanied by a swarm of over ten thousand snottlings pouring out from the surrounding sewers. Tales of dinosaurs stealing people in the dead of night continued to baffle the city watch.

    But at the end of the season, the Heroes clawed their way to fourth place, and would remain in Altdwarf! Many expected extravagant celebrations and loud speeches on the inevitability of “Altelf”. But nothing came, and upon the start of Season 7 the Heroes were nowhere to be seen.

    There were many theories on the Heroes disappearance. Some said that High Coach Remtharion killed the entire team in their sleep, skinned them and became a Dark Elf. Other say he drank their blood and became a Vampire. Still others say he hugged them all, gave peace a chance and turned to wood-elfism. One thing all sources agree on is that he did not become por and start styling his hair.

    But perhaps it was something else, something corrupt in the heart of the beloved Big Crunch itself! Nameless sources talk of the hatred between the Heroes and the Dwarves of Shortman Sydrome. They claim that the Heroes were Disappeared by Commissioner Drifta Skald-Torfusion, at the request of his secret dwarven lover!

    These nameless sources were found to have tragically accidentally cut their own heads off while shaving, an understandable occurrence as they would have to be that stupid and incompetent to even think that the great and beloved Skald-Torfusion would to something so vile! Especially after he single-handedly saved the city from dozens of terrorists trying to destroy his Sky Palace, and indeed the entire city!

    No, what happened to the Heroes was not as some say, them ascending to a higher plane of existence, but High coach Remtharion getting fed up with them and leaving in the middle of the night with all the money. Transcribed is by interview with one of the Heroes left behind. He has asked to remain anonymous.

    Mr Leonas, did none of the players or staff wish to carry on?


    Leonas: Well, the linesman left the second they realised the Ogre enforcers were gone. Without Remtharion’s brutal regime to keep them here, they book their way onto the first ship that promised them passage home to Ulthuan.

    So they’re safely home then?


    Leonas: No, it turned out to be a dark elf slave ship and they’re now galley slaves. I hear they’re still happier though.

    What about the stars of the team?

    Leonas: Androssia went home to marry a prince or something like that. Took her handmaidens with her. Salvaron declared that bloodbowl was beneath him, and now walks the world as a warrior-poet. Matoria was done for doping without a licence and is in altdwarf prison. Fereldes is writing an autobiography: “They all tried to kill me, but I just didn’t die: How I survived Bloodbowl.”

    And fan favourite Purion?

    Leonas: He said some rubbish about ‘Getting in touch with his wood elf side” and is going to Awful Lawn, or whatever that wood elf place is called. I hope they kill the git.

    Did the rest of the staff leave with Remtharion?

    Leonas: Deathpaw and his Ogres have their own team to worry about now. Rifeldin wasn’t as smart as me. I’d been embezzling for months, but he was left with nothing but a warehouse full of towels.

    What is the next step for you personally?

    Leonas: I’m going to hit up the talk show circuit for a while. But who knows, I might just try my hand at coaching myself one day. After all, how hard can it be?
     
    Last edited: Feb 25, 2015
  3. TravelScrabble

    TravelScrabble Well-Known Member

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    Fereldes is my hero, how the crap is he still alive?
     
  4. Remthar

    Remthar Well-Known Member

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    Frankly the real miracle is Purion, who was an original lineman! He was even of the LOS of a season or two, even after he rolled +AGI! Him and Fereldes are the only Survivors from the starting squad, Heroes to last.

    Sad the Heroes are over, I regret not sticking with them a bit :( But I really needed a change. Lets see how well that works out for me after Sparkletree's first match...
     
  5. Limdood

    Limdood Well-Known Member

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    I do believe that if/when I return to BBTactics play and Ragnarok-N-Roll, we'll see Bjork become a hopelessly depressed commercial actor washout due to the sudden disappearance of her shampoo deal. THEN you'll have to really fear the RnR's...this be a yeti who gots nothin' ta lose!

    Fantastic Blog.
    Fantastic Showing.
    Look forward to seeing the revival team "Greater Ulthuan Heroes 2: The Search for More Money"
     
  6. Remthar

    Remthar Well-Known Member

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    Thanks Lim! :) Good to see you back again.

    The Heroes will be back one day, I've already got ideas...
     
  7. TravelScrabble

    TravelScrabble Well-Known Member

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    The Dark Flings are great but the Heroes will always be my favourites