THE ORCIAD Orchilles wearing the Horclite Helm of Valorous Victory. CONTENTS Current roster is spoilered in the next post. Season Two coverage starts below. Season Three story starts here. Season Four starts here. Season Five here. Season Six. Seven. Eight. Nine. 11. 12. "Dissiz Brunt Goreball wit Reel Sporcts Snotwork, bringin' ya da best sporcts cov'rage dis side o' anyting. I'm 'ere cov'rin' da new season o' da Big Crunch league, spec'fic'ly dese Orcs called Da Orciad. Wot's dat s'pozed ta mean, ya say? Well dat's one o' da many tings I'll be azkin' while we watch dis team behin' da screenz [sic] and get da downlow [sic] on dese weird-named greenskinz. First up we 'ave Coach Landwaker's speech to da boyz: And now 'erez my interview wit da coach: BG: Tanks fer talkin' wit Reel Sporcts Snotwork. LW: You mean network? BG: Na, da net is for catchin' da snotz. LW: I see … so you're not with CabalVision? BG: Dose falutin' gitz! Dey dunno sporcts even if I shove dem up deir noses! I tried! LW: Okay then. So how many viewers do you have? BG: Right now? Me an' da cam'ra. LW: The camera appears to be a cage with snotlings in it. BG: O’ course, da snotz do da work. Snotwork, see? LW: They're scribbling what we say and sketching us at the same time? BG: Ya, we'll match it all up later. [ed. note: images indecipherable] LW: How do we know their transcript is accurate? BG: Wot? LW: How do we know they got the words right? BG: Oh, we got one o' dem smotty [sic] elfs to edit on detainer. LW: You mean retainer? BG: Wotever. [ed. note: leasepay elphay] ‘Ey, 'ow 'bout I azk someting ‘ere? LW: Alright. BG: Wotz a ewman [sic] doin' coachin' orcs? LW: Well, I think if you look closely, you'll notice that all of the coaches are actually human. BG: Yer a right looney! LW: Okay. BG: Hrmph. So wotz dis Orciad ting mean anywayz? LW: The Orciad is an ancient eporc poem in dactylic hexorcmeter, traditionally attributed to... BG: [snoring] LW: … BG: [snort] Oh, big wordz put me right out. LW: I’ll try to remember. BG: Where woz we? LW: The Orciad is a poem. BG: A wot? LW: Ah … an inspirational story. BG: Hoookay den. Maybe if ya did less story an’ more practish [sic], ya’d coach better. LW: I take your point. BG: ‘Ey, give it back ya git! LW: I mean I understand you. BG: Yer standin’ right in front o' me, ya looney! LW: … Agreed. BG: Dissiz gonna be a long season! Letz talk ‘bout da utter [sic] teamz in Averland. LW: Well, much remains to be seen because several of them will be new teams. So we'll have a large value advantage against most of our opponents, but that means wizards, star players and other inducements against us. And I'm sure the other teams from the first season will be equally motivated to do better. BG: Hrm, so I should be bettin' 'gainst ya den? LW: I wouldn't say that. BG: I said it. LW: Right. BG: ... Well dat's a nuff [sic] fer now, we'll talk again after yer first match. LW: I will certainly look forward to that. BG: Dissiz Brunt Goreball wit Reel Sporcts Snotwork, sighing [sic?] off!"