Discussion in 'Team Blogs' started by Landwaker, Sep 11, 2013.
Given that he either has 7 or 9 SPP (has 7, or has 7 to level) I'd assume he already has guard
Ahah, then SF is excellent
Went with DP on Patorclus II, and then he got a free TD from the admin win against Madjesty, along with a TD for Agamemnorc and MVPs for Glorcus and Orcjax II, giving me three blorcs with block now. With the extra winnings I went ahead and bought back Prorcam for a 14-player roster at 1730 TV.
So, not the season we wanted, but we came out pretty well nonetheless. Looking forward to our return to Ostland next month. And the fluff is coming...
Yep they look strong a nice mix of bashing and ball play should see you do well next season if you can handle the inducements
REVENGE OF THE FLUFF
Agamemnorc watches as the human walks out to stand before the team, the flames of the crackling fire pit only a few feet behind his back; for a moment Aga indulges in the delicious illusion that the so-called coach is burning alive. Landwaker takes a moment to survey the squad, no doubt wondering how to begin, and Aga joins him in taking the measure of The Orciad.
As ever the Grorcks and Trorcjans sit apart, and Aga again grudgingly admires the human's ploy in setting up an internal rivalry to channel and control the boys' aggression. Diorcmedes and Glorcus bridge the divide at the front of the group and seem to have become fast friends, but only because the human lets them hire out together as bodyguards; their new comradely connection runs through Landwaker and reinforces him. Orcjax II and Menelorcus sit behind the senior black orcs, the latter casting obviously-surreptitious glances back towards Aga. Pitiful oaf, it took only the merest amount of attention to bring him into sway. But one of the four is not enough.
Some movement to his left catches Aga's eye and he finds himself looking into Prorcam's baleful glare. Nothing new there, but then he realizes the cretin is back in uniform. By Horcdes! Aga had only a minor role in getting the Trorcjan thrower removed from the roster, but now he will likely receive most of the blame with none of the benefit. Rather than get caught in a stare-down, he pretends he hasn't noticed the upstart and lets his gaze wander past him to Hectorc and Aenorcas. At first he thinks the Trorcjan blitzers are grinning at him, but no, they are looking past. It can only be ... yes, it's sulky Orchilles they're provoking. The prideful brute was overshadowed by his fellows in the second season, and for a moment Aga considers whether that resentment can be harnessed, but then Kill notices him and scowls, and Aga moves on. Orcdysseus is keeping to the background as usual, quiet and watchful. Aga always finds his enigmatic calm suspicious, but returns his nod nonetheless. Potential there, or just an invitation to betrayal? No, he can't count on any of the blitzers.
Which leaves him with little. The goblin stays focused on keeping the troll focused and not getting eaten, and neither of them has any grasp of greater matters. The lineorcs are possibilities; as scrimmage bait they shouldn't have much stake in the status quo. Patorclus II has a vicious streak that could be of use, but for some reason he idolizes Kill and does what he says. As for Porcris II, he's been charged with the keeping of his addled predecessor-turned-cheerleader, who for lack of a drum sits slapping the ground incessantly. Nominally Porc II is a Trorcjan, but he's still too new for that to matter much, and with time --
"Orcs," the human intones, and all eyes go to him. "Orcs, we're returning to Ostland. I have no stirring speech for you this night, no repeating rules, no commanding chants. We remain in the third tier, and the fault is mine." A few murmurs, and Aga stifles a frown. What is he doing? "I failed you this last season, and but for my failure we would have advanced." Taking all the blame, surely a blunder! Aga tries to gauge the others' reactions but they are all looking forward intently. "You all played well, and many of you improved magnificently." No, flattery will not be enough ... will it? "But we had less room for error than I thought, and I more than filled it with my shortcomings." Back to the self-shaming, what is his game? "So this night I will not order you, I will ask you: will you continue? Our path to eporc glory has not been straight, but it still waits for us, and we are getting closer." Landwaker pauses, looking around once more, the fire flickering behind him. "Will you stand with me for another season?"
A vision flashes from the flames: Aga sees himself rising up in righteous wrath, the others inspired and following, all falling together upon the shrieking human and ending him. A shining new era begins, and he leads the team and passes on every drive, with admiration and accolades everywhere, and --
Diorc and Glorc grunt and stand as one, with Jax II right behind them. Menel looks back at Aga for a moment until Diorc frowns down at him and he scrambles to his feet. Hec and Norc are up next, followed quickly by Kill, Dyss and Pat II. The tipping point has come, and Aga forces himself up with the rest as the black orcs begin bellowing out a cheer and Landwaker smiles. Aga joins in the shouts as best he can ... wait, did the human actually wink at him? He clenches his fists as he raises them overhead with the others. Pray to Porcseidon for this season, "Coach," for my time will come.
Yay clever fluffness. Seems like Greek sagas make for the best (most eporc?) tales.
Love it, love the eporcs, hope you have a good season LW, I'm glad I'm not your admin so I can just wholeheartedly be a fan.
MATCH DAY ONEAenorcas watches as Orcdysseus takes his handoff and heads for the end zone with no one to stop him. His comrades are blocking the Council down all around him, and Norc glances over his shoulder to see Orchilles with his usual scowl. "Come on Kill, we talked this over." Kill mutters something but it's lost in the roar of the crowd as Dyss jogs over the goal line and slams the ball home. The quiet blitzer enjoys his moment, then looks back and exchanges a nod with Norc. A good start for the season.
Later in the second half, as Norc and Kill are screening Agamemnorc up the pitch, Dyss joins them as they cross the scrimmage line to make a three-quarters cage. "It's going well," he says, glancing between them. "The plan is still in place?" They all look ahead and grunt approvingly as Hectorc smashes another lineelf senseless.
"Yep," Norc answers, his eyes on Kill. "You had your score, now I'll have mine, then Kill will have his." They move few yards farther before Dyss prompts, "As agreed, Kill?"
"Yeah," Kill growls, glowering at Norc, "but you better not bungle it, 'cause I'll score next match no matter what."
Norc restrains his irritation, knowing it useless. "Yep, no bungling here!"
"I'm so glad you all consulted me on this plan," Aga breaks in as they approach the goal and the chants set the ground to shuddering. Before Norc can reply, Kill whirls on the griping thrower. "Consult what? We play every drive, we get priority!"
"You think it's my idea to not play on defense?" Aga hisses back as Norc looks around for any approaching opponents, but Hec and the rest have the high elves handled. "Listen, I --"
"Stuff your schemes," Kill snaps as they reach the line. "Just hand him the ball and be done with it."
Norc steps past Kill and turns to Aga, who grimaces and hands it over. A very good start.
In the match's final moments, the kick falls just past the scrimmage line and a hasty Council blitzer fumbles the pickup. Hec blitzes the elf away as Norc comes in behind him and grabs the ball up. A bonus! He looks behind. "Kill! Catch this!" Kill starts to scowl but Norc throws before he can respond, then runs right after it as his moody teammate receives it on reflex. "Now pass it back," he shouts as he runs past and turns around with just a few seconds left. "Do it!" Kill blinks, then snarls and hurls the ball straight at Norc's head. It smacks into his hands and the match is done.
"Look, Kill," Norc says to him as he stomps over. "There wasn't time to --"
"You don't give me orders, Trorcjan!" Kill barks, jabbing a finger in his face. "I'm still Number One on this team, fool, 'cause I'm Orchilles!"
Norc notices Hec approaching and knows this needs to end now. "Yep, my mistake! Next match is yours as agreed."
Apparently that's not enough, as Kill steps closer with nostrils flaring, and Norc readies for a rumble. But then Dyss is there: "Great fast pass at the end there, Kill. I wanted to ask you about that ..." He drapes a careful arm across Kill's shoulders and smoothly pulls him away just as Hec reaches them. Norc's fellow Trorcjan is splattered with elf blood and flushed with battle-fever. "What was that?" he asks, eyeing the Grorck blitzers as they leave the pitch.
"Just talking over the plan for the next match. Hey, that was a damn good show Hec, gouging Zara's eye was classic!"
Hec turns to him with a slow wide grin. "Ain't seen nothing yet."
Dyss, Norc and Hec all leveled! Guard, Guard, and Piling On!
MATCH DAY TWOOrchilles watches as Hectorc and Orcdysseus break open the Orcarina cage and expose the enemy thrower, then makes his move. No lucky throw for you this time, fool, 'cause I'm Orchilles! He blitzes the younger orc down and follows the ball as it scatters, snatching it up and heading toward the open goal. A lone lineorc moves toward him, and Kill sneers. You can't stop me, fool, 'cause --
He awakens to the smell of his own seared flesh, the enemy thrower standing over him with the ball back in his hands. Lightning can't stop me either, fools, 'cause I'm Orchilles! He shakily gets to his feet but the thrower sends him stumbling down again. Kill's rage rises, burning away his pain, but as he gets back up Hec barrels past him and blitzes the thrower to the ground, then knocks him out with a perfectly-placed elbow drop. Must learn that! The lineorc is back, pushing Kill away and trying to protect the ball, but Dyss has already run around to mark it, and Aenorcas pushes an enemy blitzer to scatter it. Kill eyes the clock -- too far, no good! But here comes Porcris II, pushing the blitzer and the ball back, and Dyss lets it scatter past him as he looks to Kill. Closer, but not -- Hec comes in with another blitz and piles onto the lineorc, stunning him and knocking the ball one more yard toward the line. Yes!
Kill lunges into motion, skirting around the scrum and heading for the ball. That blitzer is still trying to mark it. "You can't stop me, fool!" Kill yells as he grabs the ball up and dodges away. "'Cause I'm Orchilles!" His legs are at their limit, just two more steps, there ... and there! It is done, the crowd roars, and he smiles.
"I'll score again," he tells Agamemnorc as they make their way up the pitch in the second half. The other blitzers are dealing with the opponents, so they go to the sideline where Menelorcus is standing. "Again?" Aga sputters as they step around the stunned enemy thrower. "You blitzers are blatant ball-hogs! Am I to spend this entire season --"
"Again!" Kill shouts, fists clenching. Menel doesn't meet his eyes, looking meekly to Aga. "You can't stop me, fools," Kill continues, "'cause I'm --"
"Yes, yes, we know." Aga grits his teeth and glares at Menel. "You stay here and push this one out if he gets up."
Aga turns back to the end zone. "Let's get this over with." As they approach Kill glances behind them to see Hec elbow another opponent out. Really must learn that! When they reach the goal Kill steps over and turns to Aga with a hard stare. The thrower sighs and extends the ball. "Enjoy this while you can, for my time shall come."
Kill turns away and slams it to the pitch, raising his fists aloft to the cheers of the crowd. We'll see about that, fool, 'cause I'm Orchilles!
Kill leveled! I passed up doubles (Jump Up) for Mighty Blow, hopefully it works out! Nuffle please stay kind!
Nice report LW, and pretty nice season so far.
MATCH DAY THREEPatorclus II watches as Agamemnorc fumbles his catch and the ball drops back into the snow. The rest of the team seems to be bashing the Norse down, but Orchilles does not look pleased as he runs up. "What in Horcdes are you doing?"
Aga spits. "I'm a thrower, not a catcher! Why does the human want a lineorc to pass anyway?"
"I'll catch it, then!" Kill growls, waving at Pat II to try again. He carefully picks it back up and tosses it to Kill who catches it easily. "There!"
"Wait, wait," Aga hisses as they run forward up the side. "I'm supposed to be the scorer this match, it was agreed!"
"Then you'd damn better hold onto it when I hand it to you!" Kill snaps back.
They move over to the sideline, watching as their comrades continue blocking the Norse off and keeping them clear. Aga turns and carefully grabs the ball. "There," he sneers, "you see, I --"
A bright burning roar blazes out of the blizzard and knocks Pat II off his feet. He blinks and winces at his singed skin as he sits up and sees Kill standing over him and Aga with his hands on his hips. "A little fireball can't stop me, fools, 'cause I'm Orchilles!"
Aga mutters a curse and quickly gets up and grabs the ball back. Kill laughs and starts to say something more, but then a Norse werewolf breaks out of the scrum and lumbers their way. Kill and Pat II turn to face the bearded beast as Aga heads for the goal. Hectorc moves in on its flank, and when the wolf glances toward him Kill quickly steps forward and bashes it in the face, knocking it out.
"That was great, Kill," Pat II says, and even Hec gives an approving grunt. Then all three of them turn toward the middle of the pitch as they hear Coach shout. It looks like Dyss has fallen over -- how did that happen? Suddenly Kill looks back toward the end zone. "That fool!"
Pat II turns and sees Aga looking at Dyss rather than running for the goal. And past Aga is the clock, ticking down ... too little time! The thrower realizes his mistake but can't make it, and now the half is over and Coach's curses cut through the boos of the crowd.
In the second half, Pat II again finds himself on the ground, slowly sitting up after being stunned by another of those werewolves. As he blinks, he sees Norc scoop up the fallen ball and sprint for the goal, and he staggers to his feet to face off against the werewolf and two of his comrades. Glorcus and Porcris II come in to assist, and Pat II forces himself to grin at the slavering monster. "Come on, you hairy bastard, I'll knock you right --"
A furred fist smashes into the side of his neck and sends him sprawling. Pain spreads out through his shoulders and skull and he can barely hear the ref's whistle through the rising agony. Next he knows he's been dragged off to the side and Coach and Doc are bending over him.
"Pinched nerve, I'd say," the old halfling says, poking Pat II's neck and making him whimper. "Miss next match."
"So be it," Coach says and turns away. Doc shrugs at Pat II and has him dragged over to the casualty box. He doesn't mind not being patched up -- Coach has to save that stuff for the bigger bangs on the better lads -- but do they have to leave him face down in the corner? After some excruciating trial and error he manages to shift himself over so that he can see a bit of the pitch. It looks like the team has it well in hand, with only two surrounded opponents left on the pitch nowhere near Norc. Finally the cheers go up and the thing is done and won.
Doc waddles over. "Well, my boy, guess you threw that pass just in time, eh?" Pat II starts to nod but it hurts too much. "I hope you learned something," the apothecary continues, "because you'll have a good deal of time to think about it." He leans in as he prods again at the neck. "Between you and me, you've actually lucked out. Next up is Da Owchi Cho Cho, and I think they'll be sending me many more of your mates, and pinched nerves will be the least of our worries."
I lost a TD to a quad-skull block on T8 (1/1296 chance of turnover, ugh). MB worked out for Kill and he racked up 11 SPP including the MVP. Pat II leveled before his MNG and took Wrestle. But the calendar gets harder from here...
Interlude the First
Menelorcus watches as Hectorc drops his elbow on the training zombie's head, then gets up and says something to Orchilles. Kill tries to do it too, but misses and gets mad.
Diorc hits Menel's shoulder. "Pay attention!"
Diorc and Glorc and Jax stand around him. They block Menel, and he falls down. He gets up, they block him, and he falls down. Get up, block, fall down. Again. Diorc swears and Menel feels bad. Again. Again.
After a while Porcy runs up. "Menel, Coach wants to see you."
The lineorc makes a face. "I keep telling you, Porcy is the drummer, I'm Porc too."
"No, Porc too!"
He walks across camp to Coach's tent. The flap flips up and a grinning ghoul comes out. Menel steps away from the ghoul. The ghoul steps closer to him. "Oh, a big bad orc!" it says. "Catch me!" It runs in a circle around him. "Ha ha!"
"Stop showboating," Coach calls out from inside. "Menel, get in here."
The ghoul laughs again and runs off. Menel goes into the tent. Coach is at his desk with a big old book. He looks up. "Menel, Pat too is missing the next game."
"You'll be on the line for defense."
"And it's Ogres."
"And these Ogres don't care about winning, just hurting."
Coach frowns. "I'm trying --"
Then Kit comes into the tent. The elf looks worried. "LW, I need some security! I'm being followed, I tell you!"
Coach sighs and leans back. "Look, Kit, we're in full training mode here, I can't spare any bodyguards. Just hire another escort or whatever."
"No one will hire out! I think the Referees' Guild has me blacklisted! They think I had something to do with Zwinzig going missing!"
"Well, he was last seen with your vampiress chasing him."
"I didn't know she -- look, I think I'm going to get killed! It could be the Guild, or Best Hat, or even Gus, or maybe just some crazy who saw me on CabalVision! I'm begging you, LW, I need help!"
"Alright, alright." Coach strokes his beard, then looks down at his book. "Well, I could turn you into a zombie."
Kit stares. "... What?"
Coach nods. "It would probably throw off whoever's after you, and if not you'd have a good chance at regenerating your wounds. You wouldn't have to worry about clothes, hygiene, or vampiresses coming onto you. Just nibble a bit of the living now and then and you'd live as long as your flesh lasted. Heck, I could even transition you into a skeleton later."
"But ... I'd be undead!"
Coach crosses his arms. "I coach undead too, and they'd tell you it's better than being dead. Well, they'd probably just kill you, but still."
"But ... my career!"
"Who says a zombie can't be a CabalVision correspondent? If I do the spell right your brainpower shouldn't drop, much. Anyway, you could always join us as a training assistant."
Kit turns and walks out. Coach shrugs and looks back to Menel. "So, the Ogres. This is going to be a rough match, Menel, so you'd better get better fast."
"I mean, it's been more than twenty matches and you still haven't learned a thing."
Coach shakes his head. "Alright, get back to it."
Menel goes back to the other black orcs and gets blocked down. Okay. He gets up again and goes down again. Okay. Up again, down again. Okay. Okay. Okay.
Poor Kit, the life of a Bloodbowl corespondent is a shockingly risky and dangerous one. One minute you're riding high as an ace report for the Blahville Gazette, the next your fleeing for you life and considering zombifacation to survive.
Not play to win? I play to win. I've just failed horribly 2 times out of 3. But maybe I'll win over you. Hmm, Morg an Thorg or a chef. To bad I can't afford both.
@Rem: Indeed, one hopes that one's life is not controlled by a being whose primary motivation is "this story needs some spice."
@Phun: A team that can't advance, with six ogres and no rerolls, called Da Owchi Cho Cho ... please pardon me for presuming your priorities. We haven't faced Morg yet, so that could be suitably eporc, whereas a Chef is just annoying. This is not reverse psychology.
Orchilles is such a star, he certainty seems to have learned a thing or two about facing wizards
Dude love your blog and I totally agree when it comes to facing da ouchi choo choo that morg is so much more intimidating than any other choice
Intimidating yes, but is he effective? At least he's not non for whiffing as much as Chefs are.
You are pardoned. Main priority is have fun, winning second, breaking things a close third.
Except that breaking things also falls in under having fun?
Hmm. That's true. At least so long as it doesn't get to excessive.
Ack. Now my priorities are all messed up.
Separate names with a comma.