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Orc [BC] ORCIAD: The Eporc Saga

Discussion in 'Team Blogs' started by Landwaker, Sep 11, 2013.

  1. skullashtray

    skullashtray Active Member

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    i saw your squad breaking things seems like first on their priorities phun HA
     
  2. Landwaker

    Landwaker Member

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    Thanks skull for helping him sort that out. :rolleyes:;)

    Match is set for 0500 GMT Saturday (Friday evening for us), so I have plenty of time to overthink it...
     
  3. Phunbaba

    Phunbaba Active Member

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    Over thinking it will not be a problem for the Ogres.

    And taking out players makes it easier to score. So that one can thereby win Sat*. :p

    * I think Sat is a great acronym for Skullashtray as that is a mouthful.
     
  4. skullashtray

    skullashtray Active Member

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    lol ill take sat (its my favorite day) tho most just call me skull
     
  5. Phunbaba

    Phunbaba Active Member

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    Yeah but than there's tripleskull whom I use skull for because TS is out due to Travelscrabble. Sometimes it's good to have a unique username. Not to many people can be called that Phun guy. :cool:
     
    Last edited: Jan 7, 2014
  6. Landwaker

    Landwaker Member

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    And after all that Phun's fillers get replaced by rookie gobbos. I feel the same relief/disappointment as when Smurf went to sea in the first season.

    New match set for Friday at 1700 GMT, should be interesting (I haven't seen the gobbos but they'll probably get the most inducements yet) ...
     
  7. skullashtray

    skullashtray Active Member

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    i just looked at the team its a... 1000 tv gobbos? and i have em after you so i feel like this will either be a rough way to start his BC career or a goblin's wet dream with the inducements
     
  8. Landwaker

    Landwaker Member

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    MATCH DAY FOUR
    Hectorc watches as Coach whispers angrily at Menelorcus, but the big dummy won't budge off the sideline. All that talk about ogres, Hec guesses; the Da Owchi Cho Cho got replaced by these gobbos but they brought Morg 'n' Thorg with them, and you can't get more ogre than that. Good thing the gobbos picked to kick, as Prorcam is already on the pitch and looks to be staying despite Agamemnorc's glares. Coach gives up on Menel and, with Morg and both enemy trolls on the line, he tells the team to set up for a run up the right.

    Prorc snags the ball on the quick snap and heads up the pitch with half the team screening, Aga and Orchilles right on his heels, always hungry for the ball. The ball, who needs it? Hec blitzes past them to the nearest gobbo and knocks it clean out. That's what it's about! He finds himself facing the loonie, the bomber and the pogo. The chainsaw-wielding git charges him but loses control of his noisy machine and knocks himself out. Bah. Kill and Aga form a sideline cage around Prorc, arguing with him and each other. Aenorcas marks the pogo so Hec marks the bomber, but then there's a shout behind and he sees the pogo dodging into the cage to push Prorc off the pitch! He wonders if Aga and Kill let it happen as they quickly shove the pogo out too, but there's no time to say anything as the crowd throws the ball back to land right at the feet of Morg and the trolls. Hec tries to bash the bomber but the little git pushes back. The Horcse shoves one of the enemy trolls onto the ball and scatters it out where Glorcus and Orcjax II can mark it, but then a sparking bomb whizzes past Hec's head and blasts both of them off their feet. One of the gobbos grabs it and runs to a troll, who tries to pick him up but fumbles with Porcris II and Diorcmedes marking him. Horcse and Porc II shove the gobbo around, then Morg knocks Porc over and Hec also finds himself on his back at the feet of the other troll. As he sits up he sees the bomber make another toss which knocks Jax II and Kill over, and then another gobbo runs in and tries to stomp on Hec. Hec just smiles at him, then looks up to the see the ball carrier hurtling through the air to flub the landing and scatter the ball back near Glorc and Jax II.

    Okay you silly-hatted stunty prick! Hec curls his lip and blitzes off the ground, smashing into the bomber and sending him to the casualty box. That's more like it. Kill grabs the ball, but suddenly both enemy trolls go for it and surround him front and back. Hec notices a gobbo lining up for a blitz and trips it as it scrurries past, but then a lightning bolt comes down on Kill. Glorc and Jax II lumber in to mark the ball again and Kill gets back up as Hec goes for one of the trolls. He knocks the beast over then tries for an elbow, but can't find his mark in the thick hide. Damn! Norc rushes in for the pickup but goes too fast and scatters it into Glorc's hands. Kill wants the ball back but the trolls are still around him and there's no time, so Glorc hands it to Norc who runs it in as Kill curses.

    In the second half the gobbos give the ball to Morg in the center of the field. As Hec moves to mark a gobbo he sees the fanatic come whirling for him. The crazy chain-swinger can't connect, but he has to back off from the flailing weapon. Morg knocks Diorc over and the gobbos gang-foul the boss black orc with five assists, but he just grunts and shakes it off. Hec dodges away from the fanatic and blitzes down one of the foulers, then elbows it off the pitch. There we go. Suddenly Morg is standing over him with the pogo and another gobbo ... Hec braces for a foul, but then they all look over as the fanatic loses his balance and knocks himself out. Aga, Kill, Norc and Orcdysseus swarm Morg as Hec stands back up. Unable to move, the star ogre tries to pass it, but Norc jumps up and intercepts. Hec goes after the pogo and stuns him with another elbow. Norc can't get past a gobbo and Jax II comes in to protect him, so Morg turns around and kicks the young black orc's ankle, smashing it and sending him to Doc. Ouch. Hec knows Coach is stingy with the apo and isn't sure he'd get it either if it came to it, so he decides to stay on the ground and hope no one pays attention. Then one of the enemy trolls falls over on a block and Norc is away, with Morg getting tripped by Aga as he tries to follow.

    Hec stands up and marks the downed pogo as he watches the race to the end zone. Across the pitch a gobbo runs to a troll and yells to be thrown, but the beast thinks different and puts him back down after picking him up. Another gobbo dodges past Kill and Aga to reach Norc, but Norc just blocks him down. Meanwhile Menel moves to mark Morg, and though he is quickly knocked over Hec has to give him a nod. The pogo seems to be in no hurry to get back up, but the gobbo across the pitch is still screaming at the troll to throw him. The troll gets annoyed and swallows the gobbo whole. Hec shakes his head and looks back to Norc, who argues with Kill before giving him the ball and the score. Hec snorts and looks down at his blood-bathed elbow. The ball, who needs it?


    Our first kept perm (-1MV on Glorcus who also got the MVP) courtesy of our first encounter with Morg, and no leveling, but still a good spp gain.
     
    Last edited: Feb 15, 2016
  9. Landwaker

    Landwaker Member

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    MATCH DAY FIVE
    Doc watches as Landwaker faces the angry team. "This is ridiculous!" Agamemnorc spits, looking right and left for support. The other orcs don't say anything, but they're frowning too. "Why are we negotiating an arranged draw with rookie elves? You expect us to let them score and stop at two good hits? Lunacy!"

    "Careful, Aga," the coach scowls back. "I'm don't like it myself, but it's the best solution."

    "The best solution to what? You haven't told us why we can't just play the match!"

    "You can't understand, there are larger forces at work here." Landwaker looks up at the sky. "I've seen things you players wouldn't believe... besides, Aga, you get to score that touchdown you've been carping about."

    Aga puffs out his chest. "What good is a touchdown without glory?" Doc notices Kill nodding in agreement, a rare sight.

    The human crosses his arms. "Glory can wait. Our stats might get shorted but our standing will stay solid and we'll be in fine shape for the next match. This is the way it's going to be."

    Aga takes another look around, then smirks. "For now."

    "Get out there and get this over with," Landwakers snaps. "The elves get the ball this half for two passes and a score. We can hit their lineelves until we get two casualties, then we stop, and Aga scores at the end. Go!"

    The Orciad grumble as they trudge onto the pitch. The crowd seems confused, and the Cruncholution journeyelves don't look too happy either as the greenskins surround them.

    Doc clears his throat. "LW, I'm not one to complain about not having to work, but I think you've really ticked off the team here."

    The coach sighs. "As long as the rest of the matches go well, they'll forget it."

    Doc nods. Let's hope they do.


    Due to Boffa's T13 disconnect as I was driving to equalize, we agreed that a simulated 1-1 draw was the fairest outcome. Our first slip of the season but we're still ranked second. The remaining four matches are against the rest of the top five, though, so everything counts...
     
    Last edited: Feb 15, 2016
  10. Landwaker

    Landwaker Member

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    In a callback to post #6, I think I'm going to once again cut Prorcam the backup thrower. Two matches in a row he's started on the pitch and refused to leave when I clicked to sub him out (probably my fault but still annoying as it's just been him doing it). He also hasn't been needed at all this season, mostly because I'm still not much of a fouler. And giving 800 inducements to Borke's Croakers is just too much for an important match. Tossing 70k is okay when you've got 770k. So Prorc will return to the token assistant coach spot, but he'll likely get another chance someday.
     
  11. skullashtray

    skullashtray Active Member

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    Don't worry ill get revenge on those elves for you. If you can put a hurting on the croakers as I play them after you oh and did you see that both mutts are mng for your match?
     
  12. Landwaker

    Landwaker Member

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    Yep, that's what widened the TV gap from ridiculous to ludicrous (reference anyone?) and had me reappraising my bloated roster. That and the annoying sub-click issue.

    I hope you mash those elves. Mash their bones to make your bread. Then mash the bread to feed the rats. Then mash the rats to feed the bats. Then mash the bats to feed the cats. Then mash the cats to feed ... the dogs? Then mash the dogs to feed a bear, then encase the bear in molten steel, then lock the steel bear in a safe, then lock the safe in another safe, then bury the safe in the woods, then dig up all of the woods (reference anyone?), and throw it all into a volcano.

    But no winning please. ;)
     
  13. dubbs

    dubbs Member

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    Now, now, the Croakers and my team put enough of a hurting on the Croakers today. Let's all play nice and get along, okay :cool:

    PS Landwaker: If you want to trim TV, I heard that blitzers with tackle were totally overrated :)

    PPS I assume that you're playing Borke next week. In which case, you're welcome (never mind the fact that one of the doggies went down on its own block).
     
    Last edited: Jan 18, 2014
  14. Landwaker

    Landwaker Member

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    I love that you wrote this at the same time I was composing my mashing rhyme. :D

    Oh really? I'll give you a hands-on demonstration soon enough... ;)

    Many thanks good sir, perhaps we'll try to play nice in our reunion with the ladies of ASS. Wait, I just remembered our first match ... well, thanks anyway. :p
     
    Last edited: Jan 18, 2014
  15. TravelScrabble

    TravelScrabble Well-Known Member

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    Good old Prorc always a bit surplus to requirements. No wolves you lucky orcs. Still its nice to see you and skull come good this season. My predictions were just a season too clairvoyant
     
  16. Borke

    Borke Well-Known Member

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    I'm looking forward to seeing what TV difference we end up at. I'll need all the help I can get, now that those two lazy wolves are out... I'll be happy if I somehow manage to get a draw out of it, plus some dead Orcses :p
     
  17. Boffa

    Boffa Active Member

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    that's a lot of love.. :cool:
     
  18. Nikolai II

    Nikolai II Super Moderator Moderator

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    That bug seems to fix itself once he's earned some SPP in a match. It's a very weird bug that way, but what're you gonna do. Just let him walk it in from start to end once (or make a farming pass) and he should be fine. Usually.
     
  19. TravelScrabble

    TravelScrabble Well-Known Member

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    I hate that bug, as someone who hires rookie linerats fairly frequently and often really doesn't want them on the pitch on the first drive its very wearisome.
     
  20. Landwaker

    Landwaker Member

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    @TS: Thanks, hope it continues, though last time I cut Prorc it didn't go well...

    @Borke: With the cut it should be around 710 depending on what your wight rolls.

    @Boffa: :cool:

    @Nik: Good to know, thanks, that's a strange one.