BC - Pie-Rats Ahoy!

[TravelScrabble]

Let me proudly present, the Altdwarf teams this season

Greenpeace Sucks, Jounisii: These woodies had definitely lost a step last season but were still good enough to finish third and along the way they picked up an agi 5 wardancer and str 4 lino so I think its safe to say they’ve gotten it back. Still have an incredibly solid core of 11 blodged players and a treeman as well so there is no question they’ll do well. Don’t have a good ball carrier against them as currently have no block thrower so its either let the agi 4 wd strip a gutter off the ball or let the agi 5 wd block down my thrower. I have a hard time seeing them get relegated and they could easily win it all.

Greater Ulthuan Heroes, Remthar: Remthar’s Heroes have the highest TV in the division when everyone is fit and are also looking very strong this season. Fereldes and Purion are still there being leaping menaces to every team they face but the team now also has some hitting power thanks to str 4 Matoria and mb Salvaron. Their main weaknesses are the niggles on Gwithiline and Androssia and losing both would set them back badly. Also as ever the linos are a bit underdeveloped but they’re actually getting there. God forbid they have a casualty light season. Will be competing for the top 4 spots.

Dead Fusion, Sudonym: Two words, great wolves. The Lawbringer is str 4 and the Model is mb so they have the key tools. Oh and the rest of the team ain;t to shabby either with lvl 3 and 4 golems and 2 level 4 wights and ghouls. Yep every positional a necro team needs to succeed. Will be strong as long as that holds true, the main weakness as always is that they will suffer from losing any of their positionals. 4 guard also isn’t a lot and may see them run into some problems against the bash teams. All in all I think they’ll be solid mid table.

Disordered Personalities, Dio: At 1690 TV these, along with the rats, are the division lightweights, and I’m really not looking forward to facing them. I hate nurgle, and not having a wiz is going to hurt. Aside from me, this team is a little underdeveloped compared to the competition as you’d expect from a team with only 18 games. They have 3 block guard warriors and an agi 4 pest as well as a level 5 killer and that’s it. That’s not a bad foundation to build on at all, in fact I consider it great, but will need inducements to work in their favor in the games not against me. Probably looking at relegation.

Foebreakers, Netsmurf: Whisper it, but the fearsome Foebreakers are actually looking a little weaker than when they were here last. They still have Ore Runner, who might be the best player in the league, as well as Mullet their annoying str 4 dt blitzer and magmafury their super killer, but both of those have serious injuries. The rest of the team features a level 1 troll slayer and an as yet unpurchased runner so they will have their weaknesses for sure. I’m thinking if they couldn’t stay up last time they’ll have an even harder time against the mass claw this season.

Naggrund Burning Bulls, Magnus: It’s the champs from last season and they’ve gotten even better since. Yep that’s true, but they’re also still not terrifyingly scary. They only have 1 claw on a level 2 blocker, an agi 4 hobbo is nice as is the MA 8 blodge bull, but they don’t quite explain how this team scored more points in Alrdwarf than anyone else has ever managed before. Clearly the coach is top notch. So I expect them to be in the top 4 but I also wouldn’t be shocked if the curse of champions struck and they ended up relegated.

Aggravated Nurglary, JR: Now here’s a Nurgle team with some great positionals. Every pest and warrior is at least level 3 with the highlights being an agi 5 pest and a str 5 warrior. In addition they’re a quick team with 4 move increases spread over 3 pests. Its intimidating. But they do have weaknesses. Most notably only 2 guard and no claw on their killer pest. So they’re well set up to smash the agility teams but may struggle against the bash teams. So I’m incredibly pessimistic about this game, needed a hero play from Bakewell to get 1-1 against them back in season 1, and Bakewell is long gone. League will be too bashy for them though.

Extraordinarily Ordinary, Gyasi: Another team back for another shot the aptly named Ordinaries. Aptly named because there’s only one stat up on the entire team and that’s on the str 4 thrower, who is a good piece. Other than that the team is experienced but not exceptional with a couple of surprising skill choices like a shadowing blitzer. Will is the famous name, but his smashed knee might still end his career and they are another team who are light on guard but that’s especially troublesome for humans. Also, no dp, what’s that about. Gyasi deserves a lot of repsect for taking them to Altwarf twice but I think this will be another short stay.

The Orciad, Landwaker: Finally the terrifying Orciad, the team nobody wants to face and who I happily don’t have to worry about till matchday 9. Their blitzers really are a testament to what orc teams aspire to. 2 of them are agi 4 and they are all absolute stone cold killers and only one of them isn’t yet in the Hall of Fame. Oh and their black orcs are great too. Tackle, mb and po galore, guard galore, and some agility to boot. Have to say they look almost impossible and should be challenging for the top 4 spots. Lets hope some attrition sets in before I have to play them.

Its a tough lineup and as ever I expect they'll send me down to tier 2. The elves I beat last time are both looking stronger and I got lucky anyway, and now there's 2 accursed nurgle teams instead of 1. All in all it looks bad, but the rats are stronger too, and ready to fight to finally defeat the commissioner.

 

[danton]

...needed a hero play from Bakewell to get 1-1 against them back in season 1, and Bakewell is long gone.

Is he now... is he really...? Tell your rats to keep looking over their shoulders, cos you never know when Bakewell might come shambling back...

 

[magnus]

My money is on an Ag winner this season, the tackle-light nurgles should be easy pickings and they will cause problems for all others as well. Jounsiis team is really scary. Those orcs are an outsider, basically as good as orcs ever gets, and without any team packing much claw they could sure run away with it. Gl for the season, and may your scary mutated clawer miss our game!

 

[Remthar]

Nice write ups TS, the Heroes are looking for revenge this season! But stop drawing attention to the Heroes niggles! (Why are the Heroes so niggle prone?)

 

[Borke]

I think Altdwarf has a really interesting mix this season. My money is on the Orciad, but I could see several other teams win it as well.

Good luck, TS!

 

[jounisii]

A very nice write up there, TS. Apart from 1 thing, Suckers really suck and they've started their death spiral a long ago. My money would actually be on you, sir Rat, or Rem.

 

[Tyriok]

Good luck TS!

 

[TravelScrabble]

Thanks all! Ill do my best but had a lucky one last season so low expectations.

 

[TravelScrabble]

Calico yanked and the grater came loose. It had taken him weeks of searching the sewers and catacombs to find this place. A little square only 1 foot tall and 2 feet wide covered with a few bars. It had taken him another week of filling and working away at the mortar to loosen the bars and remove some of the bricks to create and opening he could squeeze into. As he'd worked the old tunnel had flooded frequently with noxious fumes, he guessed the opening was some kind of vent. He'd tried but failed to pier into the room behind. He had to take the plunge, tonight would be the night, he had to know.

Calico slunk into the hole. The room was dark save for a faint glow of warpstone emanating from the table. His night peyes picked out the details easily. There was an oven and next to it a table covered with bags of various kinds, likely flour, sugar and such. Above the oven hung a variety of copper pots, pans and forms. On a second table stood the special ingredients, a brazier from whence game the green glow, vials of foul smelling liquids, alembics and other lab equipment.

Most alarming, in the middle of the room, sitting on a rough stool was a hooded figure smelling of pies.
"Calico," the figure purred.
"T.S." the gutter hissed back.
"I was wondering when you'd find your way here."
Calico cast ironed around the room looking for an escape, he'd obviously walked into a trap, it was a sticky situation. "What do you want with me?" He asked, stalling for time.
"I'm glad you found your way here, just like Shoofly, its time you and I had a little chat."
"What about?"
"Things have not gone as planned since I lost control of the team. Anne and the Captain were unfortunately baked before their time. You are now the senior gutter on the team."
"What's your point?"
"We need to work together, our goals are aligned, I want what's best for the team."
"Since when," Calico hissed.
"Oh come now," T.S. ginger snapped, "there's no need for hostility. Let me show you what I mean." He rose from his chair and walked over to the pie table, to an enormous bowl and reached in. When he took his hand out it was dripping with a sweet smelling liquid.
"Banana batter," T.S. enlightened Calico, "But its not for baking, we need this spread over our the endzone. Please, do me this one favor and I think you'll see, I want what you want, I want the Pie-Rats to win the Pie-Ship."

So this was a lucky draw. I messed up the first drive when I let my merc rat ogre frenzy himself into a -2d block without securing the ball properly. Fukushima the agi 5 war dancer does what elves do and recovered the ball, survived a fire ball and then lost the ball to a blitz but was able to recover and score. Second drive was better, and I was starting to do damage but in the end I had to go for sidecage to have any hope of reaching the endzone in time. Well that was all the invitation Chernobyl the strip tackle wd needed, she dodged leaped, and 1d the ball, which of course scattered off the side and landed right in the middle of the elves. They secured it down low and I had the option of chasing them to try to force an early score that would at least give me a shot at the one turner, or to do some damage. I elected to do damage, which eventually paid off as Blackberry piled on to Chernobyl and almost crippled her, the apo stepped in and turned it into a fractured arm, but now at least one main threat was gone.

This is when nuffle stepped in on my behalf with sweltering heat washing over the pitch to make things tough for the already shorthanded Jounisii. Still thanks to agi 5 shenanigans he had no problems scoring the 2 turner with Fukushima. I got another fortunate kick off event as the Pie-Rats fans rioted at 3-0 down and scored a 2 turner of my own. Still there were 6 turns left, enough that I still had a narrow chance. Jounisii set up for another 2 turner with only 7 players, I tired to make things as difficult for the damn Fukushima as I could, but J made a dodge, a long pass, a catch in 2 tackle zones, a leap, a dodge another dodge, a gfi, and then Fuku slipped on banana batter and died in the end zone. OUCH! She was quite the player, agi 5 war dancers are so OP, and that was a horrible way to lose her so I feel bad for J but obviously everyone in Altdwarf is celebrating tonight, though I do regret she didn't have a bounty on her head yet. Anyway, the rats managed to recover the ball and score with 3 turns left to get the tie.

Jounisii only had 5 players on the pitch so I had a chance. He used them to cage up in the middle, though was unlucky that the tree rooted, and I put as much pressure as I could on the cage. It was enough that J had to give me a shot, but the ball was on his blodge sure hands thrower, so I was lucky when a 1d from Shoofly came up with a pow after the re-roll. J recovered and took the ball to the corner. This time I had a 1d with strip against no sure hands, but I also had to recover the ball and get it to the gutter in range so things were far from easy, but in a play very reminiscent of Chernobyl's from the first half the ball scattered out of bound and was thrown in in the middle of the rats and in the end it was just a pick up, quick pass and a catch for the 3-3 td.

Crazy game that J deserved to win after my poor first half play and his excellent elfing but the dice weren't on his side. Not happy with my inducements as the rat ogre probably didn't justify his cost and the wizard only got me the one cas. Need a new plan for inducements against elves. One that I'll use on Rem next week.

 

[magnus]

Are you telling me you eliminated both jounsiis dancers for my match against him this week?! Well done Travel, well done indeed! Sounds like an exciting match with a lot of things going on, will have to take a look

 

[jounisii]

Darn, your cunning plan worked like a charm. A great match and a great report. And I wouldn't say a draw was that much of an injustice. Anyways, good luck going forward.

 

[cjblackburn]

Maybe it's the Snotling in me but I like the idea of fouling Elves. Merc DPs and bribes to discourage those jumpers.

Elves don't like dying, the pansies.

 

[TravelScrabble]

Are you telling me you eliminated both jounsiis dancers for my match against him this week?! Well done Travel, well done indeed! Sounds like an exciting match with a lot of things going on, will have to take a look

It broke my heart when I realised he was playing you next.

 

[Landwaker]

Good stuff TS, looking forward to MD9!

 

[Street]

Wow, after seeing the first 5 or 6 turns of the match I didn't expect it to finish like this.

Well played TS. Though I am not sure what you were thinking going for that Rat ogre block like that, you could have easily put 1 more Rat forward to make sure the Push would be a 1 dice block and not a 2 dice block after the frenzy roll.

And like you say, you could have covered the ball more first as well.

But still, good result. Hopeful to see the pie rats up at the top come the end of the season.

 

[TravelScrabble]

Wasn't thinking though it wasn't all bad as it did mean the tree was no longer marking my SV. Might have done it again. Only after covering the ball.

 

[kopmcginty]

Just finished reading this from scratch, very entertaining TS. Inspires me to write up my own attempts but my teams tend to disintegrate prematurely! Good luck with the team, looking forward to the next twist in the 'tail'.

 

[TravelScrabble]

Wow, that's quite the feat Kop, thanks for the interest. If you want a really good read though you should try Remthar's blogs, or CJ's Why can't we have trousers BC blog

 

[kopmcginty]

What can I say, I have time on my commutes! I'll check them out.

 

[cjblackburn]

What can I say, I have time on my commutes! I'll check them out.

Just don't read the Trousers blog if you care about narrative structure of things making sense.