Discussion in 'Team Blogs' started by LoopH0LE, Jun 30, 2013.
Hear ye, hear ye!
A proclamation from Her Majesty, Queen Brutina the Malodorous!
"Loyal people of Bruteshire, it is with great anticipation that We speak to you today. As you all know, in the past the royal family has engaged in many events against other nations for the Honor and entertainment of its people, including contests of fist jousting, Dwarf eating, and odor erupting. It was only recently that We discovered a most delightfully brutal pastime called "Blood Bowl." It is with the utmost pleasure that We announce our participation in the Big Crunch, a perpetual league for the sport in which We hope our reign will be long and bloody.
Indeed, even now, your Sovereign Ruler, King Brutus, is preparing by feasting daily upon copious amounts of meat, wine, and fear. His recent hunting excursions have also proven quite impressive, and the heads of a Kroxigor, a Rat Ogre, and a Troll now adorn the walls. Our heralds have all been instructed to pass on his fearsome war cry to all of you:"
"Our fair daughter Brutiellia will also be joining us, as it is tradition for young Ogresses to prove themselves as disgustingly ruthless as the Ogres. Is she not a stunning image of beauty?
In addition, The Duke of Brute is among the first of the various nobility to arrive for the festivities, and, as such, has been offered a position on the team. The Duke, Duke, Duke, Duke of Brute, Brute, Brute (as he insists upon being called) has been joining The Knights of the Broken Table for grueling training.
Ah, yes, the royal servants will be joining Us on the pitch as well. We were informed that a Blood Bowl team must consist of at least eleven players, so we opened the invitation to the household. It has raised spirits considerably, as it will be a great honor to compete alongside Us. We have come to understand there is a high rate of mortality for the frailer sort in the game. When the servants were made aware of this, they took this with a degree of joviality, preferring to risk their lives for a bit of fun and glory. Which is quite grand of them -- the torturer was not even needed to coerce them! A bit disappointing for the little fellow, as he had polished all his instruments for the occasion. But I digress.
We would like to thank Our loyal subjects for their support and possible participation in these games. Let the bloodshed commence!"
I'm looking forward to seeing how your games go! Let the brutality begin!
wow! those are some well-spoken Ogres!
Maybe it's prophetic and you'll have far less than your share of Boneheads
The Royal Brutes don't go boneheaded, sometimes they simply refuse to do what they consider beneath them!
From the desk of Oggsworth Brutington, esquire.
The Royal Brutes made their inaugural appearance in the Big Crunch Blood Bowl League against Dr. Dodger’s Cruentus Lacertae, and were delightfully surprised their host Limdood had arranged for a Promenade to be played specially for their entrance into the stadium.
[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2QZJfWyAZb4]Pictures at an Exhibition - Promenade - YouTube[/ame]
It appears the Brutes’ magnanimity got the best of them as the only Lacertae Lizards who arrived in the infirmary were sent there from their own failed dodges. On the other hand, the Brutes’ court Jester will be missing next week in order to have his jaw reattached. It is safe to assume his smile will be much more crooked upon his return. His comrade-in-snot, Backscratcher, really reached the right spot as he squeezed past an aggressive Lizard wall to score the Brutes’ first goal of the season.
The second half did not go as well for the Snots, as you can see, but, clearly, didn’t go as poorly as it could’ve gone.
A slip from a Snotling en route to cover the Lizards’ lost ball meant the Brutes missed out on a crucial chance to defend successfully, and perhaps even win the game. The tie was solidified when a torrential rain suddenly poured upon the stadium, making the ball quite impossible to retrieve.
The crowd was nevertheless overjoyed with the Brutes’ arrival, and thus showered the royal family with enough money to hire an apothecary, and then some. Nostrabrutus will be attending to the Brutes’ health, and, considering their next match is against the zealous Korn Daemons, I believe it is a wise investment. Although they do lack the always-intimidating Bloodthirster Demon, I am quite certain much blood will be spent by both teams.
Congrats with a very decent result for rookie Ogres against Lizardmen, Loopy! No wonder these are royalty, they must certainly be the best bred and eloquent Ogres I've ever heard of
Sounds like a decent start to the season, keep up the good work!
Well done indeed! Looking forward to seeing who we will pick up for Ogre five and six
Khorne Daemons could get veeery ugly..for the khorne coach. They rely so much on the Thirster, and against ogres..well, ss says to me: build frenzy traps! Now, then again, it could also just fail because of enough 1's..so don't roll those
Nice result vs lizards ogres are one of my favorite teams
Noble and wise Brutes,
It is I, Coach Remtharion, of The Greater Ulthuan Heros.
You are cordially invited to tea and biscuits at the Elven Pavilion to discuss your upcoming match against the foul, devious, underhanded and smelly Korn Demons. We would just like to point out the many reasons that fouling is a totally respectable and under represented tactic. Also, an expert Daemon hunter has been invited to offer you first hand tips on the best places to punch a daemon.
A trough will be laid out for your retainers.
We would be delighted to join you for tea, so long as the biscuits are made from properly ground bones. The Royal Family is quite looking forward to the match, but We are a little concerned for the servants, as the Daemons will be able to throw a good many maneuvers against them, what with how frenzied they become during a game. It would be quite the rallying cry if those adorable Snotlings could fight back, and fouling is an art many of them have been practicing in secrecy. We believe they were a bit overwhelmed by the opening match, for their steps were far too timid to forcibly put their boots down onto an opponent. The entire team would love to glean from your expertise, and look forward to meeting you on the pitch.
Her Madjesty, Queen Brutina
From the desk of Oggsworth Brutington, Esquire
A deep chill settled into the stadium as the Royal Family took on Street's Korn Deamons for their second game of the season. There had been many a whisper among the various fans and coaches about the utter lack of injuries the Brutes had inflicted during the first match. Queen Brutina squelched all of those concerns as she squelched Overkornfident the Pit Cultist within the first few seconds of the match. She has always been the people's leader.
Without an apothecary, the Brutes were able to freely send Deamons to the infirmary. The French Maid even took one down herself!
The Queen followed up her earlier success with a by smashing Unkorntrollable's collar bone. She was delighted by the result, but did feel pity for controlling the ending of his career.
The ball, on the other hand, was a completely different story. It had gone on quite the journey, bouncing back and forth between the teams until it was finally secured by a risky move from a Bloodletter. French Maid heroically chased after him, but the forces of nature denied her that right. Throwing her forcefully to the ground, the harsh winds claimed her life. Considering she had followed the Queen in bloodshed, she was a true Brute.
Kitchen Wench was mortified at her sister-in-service's death, and finally managed to take down the Deamon's ball carrier, sending both herself and him to the infirmary. The half ended scoreless, but not before the Deamons tried the long shot of the game, and nearly pulled it off.
The Deamons had brought along a bevvy of Babes, so after the sleeping Deamons had "awoken," It was eight Brutes against seven Deamons. The Deamons scored with relative ease as Inkornsistency proved consistent, despite a couple plucky Snotlings' best effort. The Brutes also tried an unconventional tactic of hurling a Snot towards the appropriate enemy, with the distant hope of beaning him on the noggin. There was no such luck, and the Herald scored after dodging away from His Grace. They were so excited by this, and the clearing of weather, that they kicked the ball clear off the field.
King Brutus was unanimously elected to carry the ball, especially after his recent nomination to the league's most wanted list. Queen Brutina started carving a path for him, injuring her third Deamon. Korngratulate congratulated her from the stretcher, as her experience on the pitch would advance her skill!
The remaining Royal forces marched into the side of the pitch, guarding their King. The Deamons set up a small defense near the end zone, and the Duke of Brute and Princess Brutiella fell Boneheaded because of their over-concentration up til now. Two snots squeezed past to assist the King, and He made a daring rush on the defense. The Herald was brushed away, and He gracefully barreled towards the goal. Then, suddenly, at the goal line, His Grace fell. Despite trying to get his footing again, the freshly melted snow proved too diabolically slippery for the King. His bellow of unhinged rage shook the stadium.
The Duke of Brute charged the unscrupulous Deamon who had stolen the spilled ball, knocking it out of his hands and into the stands. The loyal, brutish fans threw the ball back near the goal-line. The King nodded to Backscratcher, giving him the Royal blessing to take the ball after His failure. Scratcher scampered to the ball, cradled it respectfully in his arms, and went for it. The crowd erupted as Backscratcher brought in the ball, tying the game 1-1! It also marks Scratcher's second touchdown, as he's proving to be the team's offensive power, so long as he survives.
All in all, an impressive performance from the Brutes -- the Royal Family kept a clear head on their shoulders a good 91% of the time, and it was a truly enjoyable roller coaster of a match. A huge shame about the failed touchdown and death, but, the team is already prepping in excitement for their next game. The Damsels in Dis Dress will be bringing many things the Brutes haven't fought against yet, including a twelve woman roster, a proliferation of Dodging know-how, and even one scrappy lady who figured out how to Block an attack! It will be befuddling for sure, but quite promising should the Brutes get a good whollop in on them.
A glorious match! I just finished watching it. Coach Remtharion has sent a massive bouquet of flowers to Queen Brutina, and a sickeningly insincere letter of condolence to coach street about the maiming of unkorntrollable
It was, after all, an Unkorntrollable Injury (reading that entry in the dice log actually made me laugh, even though the loss of a player is not all that funny).
Congrats on another great result Loop, keep going like this and the Queen will be just as wanted as the King.
Right now it's shaping up a bit like Chess - the Queen does all the work, and the King's more of a figurehead. A little early to tell though
Speaking of which, the Queen rolled normally, and Backscratcher rolled double sixes (would've been nice to have that the other way around). I really like BT on my MM Ogres, so I think that'll be my pick for Brutina. I know Ogres are "supposed" to just hit what's in front of them, but it's good to have at least one who can chase someone down in a pinch. The threat of it means they won't rush ahead as much as well.
As for the double... I was informed by Juriel that +ST is a pretty useless choice on Snots. I've had Block Snots before, and although it hypothetically increases their survivability, it's not by much. I'm eyeing DP right now actually, as the fouls I tried that game were pretty ineffective.
I also like those picks from a character standpoint -- but I'll save those thoughts for Oggsworth
BT and DP seems fine. If the queen doesn't roll doubles next I'd say take Juggs next. Wrestle and block can sure ruin your day and you need a blitzer anyway IMO.
Yup, can't imagine +ST being even remotely worth the extra TV, while DP is something you really want anyway. If you don't take the DP I'd actually go Wrestle instead of Block though since that would make it one annoying little git.
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