Citizen Nev Gives Each Race A Motto

Introducing...​

Citizen Nev Gives Each Race A Motto​

Rascism is bad. That's a given. So why is race so important in Blood Bowl. Was the designer of the game a bad man? Probably as that explains Claw. Anyway, I have given each race a short motto that you can put in the motto box when you make your team. This is important because if you don't have a motto you...well...ok it's not important at all.

Amazons - Fuck off, Dwarves

Bretonnians - We don't exist

Chaos - CLAWPOMB is our only strategy

Chaos Dwarves - 30% more hated than regular Dwarves

Chaos Pact - Everyone on FUMBBL says we're great

Dark Elves - You only play us to look at Witch tits

Dwarf - Guard, Mighty Blow...errr....Kick?

Elf - Good God we're annoying

Goblin - One day, someone will play us not as a joke

Halfling - Blood Bowl for masochists

High Elf - A bunch of complete pricks

Human - Come and see us moan about our Catchers

Khemri - Playing for the 0-0

Khorne - As reliable as our creator's matchmaking platform

Lizardmen - All your STR are belong to us

Necromantic - It's all fun and games until a Werewolf dies

Norse - We're a bash team that can't take a bashing.

Nurgle - Regen never works and we also have Decay. Fun!

Ogre - Oh it all looks so good on paper

Orc - For when you simply can't win with any other team

Skaven - We have 7 players that are just filler

Slann - Not even we know what the fuck we're supposed to be doing

Undead - Like Necromantic but with added boring

Underworld - A combination of 2 bad teams

Vampire - Win 4-0, Lose 4-0

Wood Elf - For people who hate people

 

This. This is true​

 

I think High Elves should be: Like humans, but elves.

 

LMAO...Poor Khemrian squad !!! It's truthful though as my Sacred Mekhta Kings feature the powerful prowess on "O" of Wen-Amun Harakhte (Thro-Ra), yet most of the time it is our defensive unit attempting to keep the score 0-0, 1-1 as a draw is to be celebrated just as much as a win when you're a Khemrian HC.

 

Perfect !! Especially Necro & Undead !

 

Mange moin!! Undead are OG!

 

What are some people's personal mottos for their squads (Team name, Race and Motto) ???

 

Or "Waddaya mean we have 4 without regen ?!"

 

My Liz, the Old Dirty Dodge Ballers; "In it to win it, or at least have some fun" and a gob team named Rococo BullS Hit "Going for Baroque", I think it's easier to generate flavour for teams you don't can't imagine winning with.

 

My Green Knoll Gourmets (Halflings) motto is: "We'll slug it out for a smorgasbord" as the remaining players get spoiled rotten to their hearts desire with a banquet.

 

I like the Undead one. So true!

 

My pro elf team is Arte et Marte, Latin for by skill and fighting, although not much fighting as last game I made a total of 16 blocks the whole game but won 3-0

 

When you constantly feel like you need to apologise for playing a team, you know this is true.

 

My personal favorite: a Halfling team named "There Will Be Cake!" with the motto "What do you mean the cake is a lie?"

 

It's not like you'll have to provide the cake because normally there isn't enough of the chubby bastards left to make it worth turning the oven on !!! My Green Knoll Gourmets who will "slug it out for a smorgasbord" could've just given them vouchers for McMurty's as only Orville Kikkoman and Jacques Heinz remained on the pitch after the rest of the team got massacred by some dirty stinking Orcs...

 

That is some deep dorf insight there.

 

Kjelstad, did you just refer to the Green Knoll Gourmets as Dwarfs ??? They're Halflings

 

The Snotballz would like a word with you. We'll see who's laughing at the end of it.

 

I KNEW I had a thing for witch tits but I wasn't able to see that in myself. Thank you Nev, I've learned a tittle something about myself with this read. I've always thought that Dark Elves were one of the breast races but I see now that maybe I have a problem. Feels good to get that off my chest