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Crunch Cup 16 Division 1 Watering Hole - Lies and Exaggerations

Discussion in 'Crunch Cup' started by Znarx, Sep 13, 2015.

  1. Znarx

    Znarx Courier Staff

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    This is your placed for a civilized discussion about the goings-on in the division. As promised, here are the predictions, courtesy of a random number generator:

    First Place:
    Short N Stout, TYS123 (Dwarf)
    Notable player: Lady Grey (MA 8 Runner)

    These Dwarves have what it takes to play with the big boys. They must be putting something in the beer they're drinking, because they've got two strength-enhanced Blockers and a Runner who is faster than Usain Bolt.

    Second Place:
    Pro Local Actor New Team, Znarx (Wood Elf)
    Notable player: Clint Eastwood (MV 9, Mighty Blow War Dancer)

    Last season, this Wood Elf team won their first round match in the playoffs, only to lose in the second round to eventual Crunch Cup XV winners DakaManceer VI. They'll have a chance to try and get revenge for that loss in the regular season, and hope to advance deeper into the playoffs this time around.

    Third Place:
    DakaManceer VI, DakaMan (Necromantic)
    Notable player: Big (MV7, Mighty Blow Necromantic Werewolf)

    DakaMan is attempting to become the first coach and first team to win two Crunch Cups. Ths is a tough division, but this Necromantic team ought to find a way into the playoffs. Once there, anything can happen! Big is a scary player, with both Claw and Mighty Blow, but his smashed hip may make it difficult to get into range for Blitzes, and smashed knee will make him an easier target for opposing teams to get off the pitch.

    Fourth Place:
    Blonde Bombers, Nikolai II/Dreamy (Wood Elf)
    Notable player: Jailbreak Jenny (ST 4 Wardancer)

    Former Crunch Cup commissioner Nikolai II will be leading this very impressive group of Wood Elves. Their extremely high TV may end up giving their opponents significant inducements in every match, even in the top division. Jailbreak Jenny, with enhanced strength, should put fear into opposing ball handlers.

    Fifth Place:
    Flailers, Phunbaba (Ogre)
    Notable player: Toerag the Chieftan (Ogre)

    A team of unabashed killers, the flailers are likely to inflict enormous casualties on the opposing team. Whether or not this will be enough to score touchdowns and win games remains to be seen. With a full complement of Snotlings, expect to see a lot of fouls in addition to numerous pilings on.

    Sixth Place:
    Idiatopollis Dolts, Akirilus (Chaos)
    Notable player: Veggie Wayne (MA 7 Beastman)

    Another team with significant Crunch Cup experience, the Dolts had the bad luck to find themselves in this loaded division. Still, they may have enough Claw and Mighty Blow to take on the bashier teams while still having enough speed to stay up with the Wood Elves. They certainly could surprise and finish much better than last place.
     
    Last edited: Sep 20, 2015
  2. Phunbaba

    Phunbaba Active Member

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    Toerag the Cheiftan says Ogres 'r' bestest. Keep dis 'n 'ead when 'u mak'n' dez predictions. Wouldn't want ta end up in my stew would 'u?
     
  3. DakaMan

    DakaMan Active Member

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    Toerag.... If you want a big heapin bowl of rotting Zombie Stew, be my guest. But we are still gonna kick us some big ass first game day.
     
  4. Phunbaba

    Phunbaba Active Member

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    Toerag the Cheiftan explain, Zom' s'ew 'as gud taste. Maybe we get some Gurl and White too. Is all gud. We show 'u 'y we is best! Stinky deaders!
     
  5. Phunbaba

    Phunbaba Active Member

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    Toerag the Cheiftan state Zarnx b getting da hurt soon. E says we Ogres not win Crunch Cup. We show him how well we crunch!!! If whee donna hurt ya players snotlings put in boot. We score ova you're ded lumps!!!
     
  6. Nikolai II

    Nikolai II Super Moderator Moderator

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    Hey, "not dead last" is an ogre win, no?
     
  7. Znarx

    Znarx Courier Staff

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    Having to face the Dwarves and Ogres in back-to-back weeks is going to be extremely rough on my team. I may not have enough players left after this week to have a chance against the rest of the division, unfortunately.
     
  8. tys123

    tys123 Courier Staff

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    I now have a MA8 blodger. Time to perfect my 1 turning technique.
    Sure the woodies get 2 of them from the start and they are AG4 but hey they are clearly overpowered.