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Wood Elf Dirty Cheating Elves

Discussion in 'Team Blogs' started by cjblackburn, Mar 28, 2018.

  1. cjblackburn

    cjblackburn Well-Known Member

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    It was a snowy day in Stockport when our heroes took the pitch. They were 5 Ogres brave and strong accompanied by a band of titchy warriors. Facing them were a bunch of despicable evil Elves of the Woody variety.

    A brave solid defence in the first half nearly kept the prancing ones out but the last Ogre failed to move into position and those disgusting Elves scored. Our heroes were foiled in their one turner by a deep kick.

    The perfidious Elves then got a Blitz at the start of the second half and managed to complete the infamy by scoring in three turns. The tricksy numpties then stalled giving the Ogres only really one last chance to score with a Snotling throw. This failed however allowing the despicable ones to go the length of the pitch to complete their undeserved victory 3 0. Of special note was the MB wardancer who deserves to die horribly for what it did this day.

    Our brave heroes were All Ogre Now 0(3)
    The villainous scum were Dirty Cheating Elves 3(4)
     
  2. cjblackburn

    cjblackburn Well-Known Member

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    Grudge: 7,089.
    Date: 6th day of the March.

    Our brave Dwarves went to the field of valour with a song on their lips and the desire to play proper Blood Bowl. Against them was arranging Elves who appeared to prefer dancing to the ancient ways as outlined by the sacred texts. We blocked in the authorised fashion and secured the ball as was laid out by Nuffle. However the despicable Elves used our tightly packed bodies to their advantage moving the ball carrier around in a most unseemly manor. Eventually he lost the ball due to this trickery. At this point the hated pointy eared ones refused to engage in a proper scrum and scored late in the first half after running away with the ball.

    Outraged by this infamy our loyal fans took to the pitch and despite being outnumbered two to one managed to knock enough Elves down to slow them down. However it took a while for the brave Dwarves to recover and the despised Elves managed to score half way through the second half. The Elves again refused to engage properly and we were unable to make enough progress to score before the match ended.

    To add insult to injury we failed to hurt a single Elf and their Coach (a despicable wretch if ever I had seen one) could be heard cackling AG 5 at the end of the match. Whatever that means.

    Legion of Boom 0 (0)
    Dirty Cheating Elves 2 (2)

    Grudge has duly been added to the book of Grudges and it will be avenged.
     
  3. cjblackburn

    cjblackburn Well-Known Member

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    We play Elf things. We get ball thing. Runner drop ball to score. Elf drops pass but other Elf Catch. Elf scores. Runner drop ball to score. Elf skitter length of pitch. Elf scores. Next half. We Kill Elf thing. Elf messes about passing ball. Elf scores. We get ball. Runner not drop ball to score. Runner score. Elf scores before we move. We hit Elves no more Elves die. We lose and should eat runners.

    Dirty Cheating Elves 4 (2)
    Baltimore Skavens 1 (2)
     
  4. cjblackburn

    cjblackburn Well-Known Member

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    Bathed in the bright light of Sigmar we took to the pitch to face some sneaky Wood Elves. Our passing game was of the highest quality throughout the match. However the perfidious Elves used this to their advantage to hunt our receivers and strip the ball from their hands. The first time this happened the Elves managed to grab the ball and score. However the second time it would not be so easy for the sneaky wretches. A mass scrum for the ball erupted just outside their endzone. Unfortunately one of their Dancers managed to snaffle the ball and pass it to another Elf to leave us 2 0 down at the half.

    In the second half the Elves went the length of the pitch in the blink of an eye to score. Then to pile infamy upon infamy they managed to catch their own kick. After the score we pushed up the pitch with the Elfs seemingly more intent on staying out of our way then trying for the ball. Their Apothecary was apparently tired after healing one Elf. Despite facing a wall of Elves we did manage to complete another pass this time into the Endzone for a consolation Touchdown. We have vowed to our lord Sigmar that we will have vengeance of these Elves who refuse to play properly.

    Dirty Cheating Elves 4 (2)
    Gwynedd Dragons 1 (2)
     
  5. cjblackburn

    cjblackburn Well-Known Member

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    Our lord Ulfric commanded us to take the pitch against a collection of prancing numpties. We ground up the pitch however the perfidious Elves sneakily injured our only tackle early in the half. We managed to go from side to side till our thrower survived a sack attempt and managed to sprint into the corner to score. However this left the Elves slightly too long to score. They managed to get players into position and we knocked over all but one of them. This Elf did something that was surely cheating and jumped over our players to get into position to receive the TD pass. Then the other Elves made the play to complete the pass.

    In the second half those scumsuckers received the ball and slowly pushed up the pitch behind their Treeman. Between the Tree and the hard hitting Dancer they removed enough players to prevent us from making all but the most desperate of plays on the ball. In a last ditch effort one of us managed to dodge past the screen of Elves and knock the ball loose. However the elves pushed him away and managed to score whilst laughing haughtily at our efforts.

    Dirty Cheating Elves 2 (2)
    Marienberg Storm 1 (3)
     
  6. cjblackburn

    cjblackburn Well-Known Member

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    Report worm.

    Well my Lord I sent the team out to play against our hateful woodland dwelling kin. We managed to score in the first half despite them knocking the ball free late in the half.

    I sense a but coming.

    Unfortunately they had enough time to get players in range then score at the end of the half.

    You are right that is unfortunate.

    However when one of their dancers fell over we managed to secure the ball. Then the other dancer fell over as well and we managed to go into the lead with hardly any time left at all.

    That is good news so we won then.

    Erm they did manage to score again before we had a chance to even move sir so it was a draw.

    Yet more evidence of the perfidious nature of our woodland kin. Normally you would be flayed for failing the rightful Pheonix King like this. However I have received word that there is someone who hates them even more than you and I. I will send you to him he has plans to destroy that team and you will aid him in his endeavours.

    Dirty Cheating Elves 2 (1)
    Cordao De Ouro 2 (0)
     
  7. TravelScrabble

    TravelScrabble Well-Known Member

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    So these are your cheating elves cj? What league is it?
     
  8. cjblackburn

    cjblackburn Well-Known Member

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    They are all reports from the local table top pick up league (Waterbowl Veterans League). I however take objection to your accusation that I would ever play Wood Elves. I am a man of honour sir.

    Whilst I am enjoying them I have to admit they are probably not a long term thing as I’m not suited to the playstyle. However I should try all aspects of the game I suppose.