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Slann / Kislev Circus Drakes of Legend

Discussion in 'Team Blogs' started by 2Dimensional, Apr 8, 2014.

  1. 2Dimensional

    2Dimensional New Member

    Cardiff, Wales
    Cyanide Username:
    Country Flag:
    Right. At my local TT club, in recent years we've all become huge blood bowl fans. We play short leagues amongst ourselves, and even on the Cyanide version from time to time. Recently, after the Titan Cup (our league) finished it's 5th season, we decided to try something new. Dan, our league admin, wanted to see if a World Cup could work- each race is represented, there are friendlies beforehand, then the group stages and semi/quarterfinals before the final. Dan went away and worked on the idea and eventually came up with a workable plan. At first, he was considering letting people choose their own races, but then he decided to use the finest method of random assignment; names in a hat. I went second, just after the Goblins were picked, and plucked a piece of folded paper from the hat. It was..... Slann. Hmmmm. A team I've never personally played, but I've heard can cause havoc with leaps and diving tackling and catching left and right. y MD1 of the preliminary friendlies is against Chaos, on Thursday, followed by Pro Elves on Saturday. The chaos coach has gone fir the "screw rerolls" build of 3 CW, one Mino, 7 beastmen and 2 rerolls, which I think is pretty risky but whatever. Here's my team, the* Drakes of Legend.

    The old storyteller wiped his ale-soaked lips with the back of his wizened hand and leaned into the circle of children who surrounded him, continuing his story as promised. "Now, as you all know, dragons are incredible. Awesome. Epic. They can breathe fire, cast magic, fly and their hide is tougher than even dwarven mithril mail. *A century ago, just after Nuffle had finished bestowing snake eyes on some Wood Elves, his gaze fell upon the dragons of many worlds in the polyverse. He observed their power, strength and intellect. He sighed to himself. Something had to be done. To balance the raw incredibility of these drakes, it would have to be big. Not just Double Skulls, Snake Eyes or even a MVP on the journeyman loner . No. Even worse. (Also, the dragons didn't play Blood Bowl- they were too busy roasting towns, eating knights and generally having a good time.) Nuffe, in his wisdom, decided to strip away the bodies of these beasts, but leave their minds and souls intact. Worse still, they would be forced to enter the Titan World Cup, where they would go 6-0 down to Elves and get ClawPOMBED to death by Chaos. He cast around for a suitable reptilian host. Not the lizardmen- they were too protected by the sacred magic of Games Workshop copyright laws. No, he would use Slann, formerly under the protection of the Arch-Lawyers of Workshop but now outcast for no apparent reason. And so, the Drakes of Legend were created.*

    A young Norwegian dragon, plucked from a strange half bear half giant creature known as Hagrid, Norbert, a fang-lacking green worm referred to as Toothless, from the Viking realms, a wyvern of doubtful political correctness (Albie the Racist Dragon) taken from the path of flying conchords and a strange purple beast called Spyro were thrust into the bodies of the four team catchers, small yet nimble. *

    Saphira, an imaginatively named sapphire dragon rumoured to cast magic and have a...not weird at all bond with a HUMAN (enough to inspire strange ballads from the peoples of Reddit) was chosen to be the only starting Blitzer, her roars deafening and speed unquestionable.

    *The rest of the drakes, Gadzooks (an odd pottery beast) , Peleus (A golden wyrm guarding a sheep fleece, of all things), Jabberwocky (a terrifying monster with a penchant for little girls called Alice) , St George's Dragon (nearly slain by a paltry knight, a disgrace to dragonkind), Puff the Magic (rumored to use his fiery breath to burn strange herbs) and Viserion (a freak whose mother was a Human girl? Not going to ask what went on there) became not-expendable-at-all linemen.*

    The drakes were confused by the new bodies they laboured under- their attempts to fly ended only in strange hops and leaps which failed without encouragement from a strange hooded figure who only appeared to have two dimensions, accepted as team Coach (wink wink). Resigned to their fate, but determined to become the monsters they once were, they prepared to enter the Titan World Cup.*