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Pit Machine - Out of the Hole and Into the OCC

Discussion in 'Team Blogs' started by Chubberson, Jun 10, 2014.

  1. Chubberson

    Chubberson Member

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    Well fellow beards and semi interested readers, this is the story of 'Pit Machine' and how a bunch of incarcerated psychopaths came to find themselves on the Blood Bowl pitches of the 'Old World'.

    Many years ago, Dwarfs were rich beyond compare. Trade with the Elves was profitable and the people of Grungi and Valaya flourished, mining the earth for her precious metals and gold, as no one else could. Crime was nigh unheard of in 'The Golden Age' but as the winds of time blew, a dark cloud would fall over the great race and 'The Golden Age' would come to an end.

    The Goblin and Chaos wars brought about the first hold to fall, Karak Varn, and over the next 3000 years the Dwarfs proud race would fight a grim battle for survival, times were increasingly tough and survival became day to day, with crime at an all time high, something had to be done. So it came to pass, in the Imperial year -15 after his rescue by Sigmar, high king of Karaz-a-Karak, Kurgan Ironbeard announced the construction of 'The Pit', a multi level correctional facility capable of housing 100,000 inmates, the likes of which no one had ever seen. A thousand stone masons and their sons travelled by road and by mountain to build the most impregnable prison in the old world, built into the mountain, there was one entry and exit, solid rune struck stone laying between society and criminal mass. Convicts from the entire kingdom were centrally located in one facility. This new complex was the answer to the Kingdoms need to clean up society, and provide the labour force required to mine the massive amounts of Gold, Gems, Metal and Gromril required to arm the Kingdoms armies in wars that would last another 2500 years.

    After hundreds of years of operation, a particularly brutal minority of the population became involved in the highly dangerous task of 'Gromril Foraging'. A group of psychopathic murderers and miscreants would be sent out to scout the deepest tunnels and caves for the Gromril the Rune Smiths needed for the crafting of the finest weapons and armour. In short, a way of controlling the longevity of the most violent and influential prisoners in the complex. Over time, the gang had earned significant notoriety and embraced the 'population control' techniques implemented by the prison administration, although it came at an extremely high price (your life more often that not). Being one of them, meant gaining exclusive access to mid ranking officialdom and gold (if you could steal it), if only for the short time remaining in ones life. Over time, the Job and the group became inseparable and after a particularly savage piss up, involving way too much Bugmans and cave shrooms, the group would be known going forward, as 'The Machine', or a poor Dwarven likeness of one at least.

    Some many more years passed and a level of volatile understanding grew between the screws and the gang, certain privileges were made available one could say. At the height of the Great war against Chaos, unprecedented numbers of gang members fell foul to warpstone gasses, goblin spears and any number of evil creatures, the gang was pushed to the limit, trying to meet the insatiable need for all metals. So impressed by what he had heard and later seen, that at the end of this particular war, the 'Machine' was unofficially rewarded for their extreme bravery by the king of eight peaks, Belegar himself. Short on Ironbreaker's Gromril armour after years of fighting and in dire need of re supply, Belegar's personal retinue was the direct recipient of one shipment. He insisted personally on a reward after his return to Karak Eight Peaks, personally meeting in secret with Pit officialdom and the heads of the gang. After a few tankards of ale, a reward was thus agreed upon and Grinti Ironjaw, cousin to Grim and gang leader, negotiated the Pits first ever blood bowl pitch.

    In 2350, the pitch was constructed, Astro-Granite, acid etched lines, dugouts, all the trimmings, and by imperial year 2500 regular inter-block matches were held. This also proved to be another great population control technique, the first tourney resulting in a stunning 24 dead dwarfs and a riot to boot. It wasn't until recent stunning revelations involving the wardens son, another male official and two squigs, that game play outside the prison became possible. Using this 'chinese whisper' as leverage 'The Machine' deviously black mailed the warden into supplying funding for a stand alone prison blood bowl team and some spare coin to facilitate other necessities required by a competitive outfit. One 'must have' identified in early stages of planning was a squig colostrum injection program, amateurishly attempted in prison, it was known from time to time to have great, but highly unpredictable side effects, fully harnessed who knows what potential benefits may be enjoyed by a person injected regularly.

    After a gruelling selection process overseen by Grinti, the initial eleven man squad was chosen for its maiden SSC season. the name was all but a foregone conclusion. A cross between their 'home' and their 'gang', Pit Machine was a lock . These ill tempered,foul mouthed stinking fuck wits formed a rag tag bunch that no one ever thought would win a match...............in time, how surprised they would all be.
     
    Last edited: Jan 22, 2015
  2. Chubberson

    Chubberson Member

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    OK, I messed up the image. I'll get onto that :confused:..........done, thought to put these guys up here. Saved you the full read of the fluff lads, the intro should be enough for you to get the picture that A, I don't write so good and B, These are just a bunch of juiced up cons. The rest of the story is at the OCC and is kinda fun for me to write but goes all over the place in and out of person.

    We are making a run in T1 this season after scraping in with a little help from nuffle, but oh how he has made us pay in blood. Luckily we have beer and Prisoner 666 who is one of the best Dorf runners to ever grace the pitch. Him and his derro prison mates have had a good time at the OCC and we will blog our T1 run here too now, as I have been lurking for a while. Love the site guys, great place. Thanks ;)
     
    Last edited: Jun 10, 2014
  3. Remthar

    Remthar Well-Known Member

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    Nice cubberson! I read about these guys over at the occ, love the theme! Good luck up there in T1!
     
  4. TravelScrabble

    TravelScrabble Well-Known Member

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    They're a fantastic squad, and I really like the fluff, good luck this season chubberson
     
  5. crimsonsun

    crimsonsun Well-Known Member

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    Of all the things we did not need, more sodding stunties... damn... nice seeing your thread given some more light though. :D
     
  6. Chubberson

    Chubberson Member

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    Cheers boys! Got klauser and his 12 man 1970 Orcs first up. I am really debating if I should buy a roller for this season, any feedback or thoughts on that would be great. Only really need it for the Orcs, Nurgle, Chaos. 1242 moves big guys ok. We kick off @ 20:00 GMT Thursday so 05:30 my time yuck.
     
  7. crimsonsun

    crimsonsun Well-Known Member

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    Personally I HATE playing against rollers, partly because I have no quick way of getting rid of it... Against Elves or Rats I doubt it will be as useful though it will still install a solid amount of fear into them.. So for me its a yes take it...
     
  8. Chubberson

    Chubberson Member

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    S23/MD1 vs The Waaagh Dodgers coached by Klauser

    After the first match ended 1-0 down at half with the dwarfs set to recieve, we had connection issues. Replaying a day and a half later, we win the toss and elect to kick. Its 2020TV each with the greenskins having a one man squad advantage. The crowd roars into life as the kick goes flying, orc thrower returns under neath the ball and makes the catch after the ref forgets to start the clock, letting it run a turn. He marches up behind a line of big black orcs who down two dwarfs, but despite putting six dice over the third he remains upright. The orcs probe my left flank slightly before I repel them and zone the centre, comitting to as little blocks as possible. Turn three they set up to start rolling around the right, blitzing 1588 and :zzKO: him. In retaliation we KO a block guard lino and set up to funnel the orcs deep right, trying to isolate them. The Dodgers thirst for blood spreads them too thin and with a wall of prisoners separating the larger group of orcs its looking hairy. His turn four he knocks over a blocker re positioning him with grab closer to my main scrum centre field. The next block, he badly hurts a rookie blocker and blitzes my str4 slayer getting only a push. He has his thrower lightly protected and with a couple of blocks I open a path for blitzer 1232 (tank) to sack him :zzKO: after the lads mark up some big orcses reluctantly. He catches the bouncing ball in a TZ and stays put. The orcs, punch back, stunning a blocker and blocking the prisoners onto the ball, It lands next to 666 before the last block sends it bouncing between a scrum of players to end up in two orc TZ's. My turn five, I assist one of the ball markers before hitting him with a blitz off the deck by Tank who knocks over a marking or. I set my blockers, make a block and then 666 scurries down a clear path to the ball, picking up in a TZ, dodging out and making the 3+ Long pass down the field to safety and well out of orc range. T6 the orcs knock over a marker and blitz 666 push/skulling. They also try to get free of 1144 the MB/G/SF/DAUNT blitzer but cant knock him over despite three shots at the cherry. Then, Tank again blitzes the str4ag4 blitzer and knocks him off 666 who takes of making two gfi to mark the ball and be out of range. This makes the orc really angry, in retaliation, they BH a rookie, stun the guard, and then blitz tank who takes a smashed ankle, the doc trying in vain to heal it. Turn 8, we throw no vanity blocks after surviving two blocks and a foul on the guard. Nuffle has not looked favorably on some small mistakes and the Dodgers blocking is starting to turn sour. 666 lopes into the EZ, 1-0 to the prisoners.

    We start the second half, three players down, the captain stays snoozing, the Orcs are going strong at 12 available men. 1144 and the Guard rally the cons at half time telling them, "Fuck these cunts, knock them over and let the delf do its thang!!". Inspired the lads set up staring up some Orcs. The kick flies........

    The crowd, thick with travelling Dodger fans, hurl a rock a 347 stunning him, knowing he can do damage. The LOS boys do thier job and down a greenskin, the other is blitzed down. 666 hangs deep, assessing the situation. The orcs, smelling blood, roll around the left flank and blitz on the right, stunning a blocker, they pile on but cant get past the 30 mm thick skull, denying a removal. T9, 1144 hits the av busted BOB and :zzKO: him, 10 vs 8 now. the gang huddles together on the right and holds on the left while 666 moves deep right. The orcs try to down 1144 but despite two blocks he stays up, another blocker gets blitzed and stays on despite the pile on. A blitzer tries to make the 2 GFI to mark 666 but fails, falling on his face. There is a wrestle/fend/DP linorc marking two guard blockers and a downed slayer two squares from the sideline, a blocker pushes him out and the guard, sensing the moment, lets the crowd knock the greasy fiend out, 9 orcs vs 8 dorfs. 666 tears off in the opposite direction of the blitzer, out of range. The orcs, perhaps thinking we will try to push down the sideline, cover the right, after evening the numbers slightly, the two blockers on the right, re position to the center helping 347 and another blocker handle two big guys and a blitzer. The guard, again reading the play, blitzes to the back field, pushing the blitzer 2 squares away from 666 who plays his roll and runs to the sideline left and deep. The orcs now T13, still think we are a scoring threat and hang back, diverting numbers between the two scrums that are slowly becomin one big maul in the centre. The blitzer marking the guard, dodges free and threatens 666, four or five squares away, another dwarf gets knocked down, another blitzed but the armor holds, 347 gets stunned by a BO. Doing his duty, the guard protects 666, blitzing the orc in range and takes him out :zzCAS: leaving no one within a turns move of 666 who moves in behind the slayer. Its now 8 vs 8 and we have held on so far in this game of cat and mouse. The orcs block and get a stun, thick skull coming into play again, 666 sees his chance and heads down the left wing after an agile orc thrower gets :zzKO: by the guard in a blitz. A BO gets free for a 2D on 666 about half way but not much chance of scoring now, push/skull RR to push/push, nuffle is loving the sneaky prisoner play. The prisoners mark up the orcs and the dwelf runs deep. The lone 'in range' wrestle lino dodges and sacks 666 :zzCAS: him and picking up. Meanwhile, the tripple marked blitzer 2D uphill's the guard and double stumbles him knocking him out cold, he stumbles into the end zone and awaits the scattered bomb that heads into the crowd on T16. 1-0 to Pit Machine, in front of 34000 spectators.

    In summary, Klauser's block dice were shit after T7, he did however, hurt us. Elves next week, one of the originals draws nearer to retirement. MD2 High Elves @ the Pit.
     
  9. Chubberson

    Chubberson Member

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    So no funny things from copying and pasting, its all text :confused:
    Was a win helped by some vanity passing burning a reroll.

    S23/MD2 vs To Be Announced coached by Robbo

    The second fixture on the calendar rolled around and it was another match at the 'Pit'. The Elves take a wizard on a fine day and the gang loses the toss, the elves receive and make a catch on the halfway line, running back for the pass which needs a RR. Strangely, no blitz after the LOS blocks come up push, push, pow. Turn two we pressure the ball and position so a score is needed on T3. Robbo maybe could have stalled a turn but it would have been risky. The elves kick deep to the jeers of the crowd, the gang has 5 turns to reply. The head prisoner recovers and starts back up the pitch, elves try to put some pressure on after losing a LOS guy to a KO. We spread and keep our cage forming options open. An elf fails a non RR'd dodge and we start our turn 4, moving to the right and roughly cage, trying to tempt Robbo to make over zealous contact and take casualties. He gets a spread column in front of our march but gets a bunch of his players caught up in the centre. Our blocks aren't hard enough. The wizard strikes, the ball spills and Robbo burns his last RR on a dodge, rolls 1 on the pick up. I get around it but the agile con fails the 3 plus. The positioning of the team makes it challenging for Robbo to engineer a steal and my failed SH 3plus opens the door. Then Robbo fails a dodge and 666 scores the TD. Some fortuitous dice help me from going down 2-0 potentially. Its squared up 1-1 with the gang receiving after a perfect D stops any one turner attempt. Bugmans sales are high.

    We receive, the three LOS blocks KO two elves and stun another, 347 removes another two turns later with another elf failing a dodge and BH itself. Two more elves are KO'd four left. They are trying hard but no numbers to help. We slowly keep grinding away and score on T16. One turner fails. A really unremarkable match. Robbo rolled like, 12 or 14 ones which really hurt him at times, a failed dodge needing the APO to save a collarbone break. The vanity pass burning a reroll at the start didn't help. But, he had the pleasure of seeing one of his fans throw a rock and kill 1588 on the last kick off, healed to MNG and then he gang fouled my slayer BH so he had some blood. Thanks Robbo, well played despite your at times, poor dice.
     
    Last edited: Jun 27, 2014
  10. HC Vanselow

    HC Vanselow Member

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    Chubberson, where in Australia are you from ??? Originally from Melbourne, I'm living in Southern California...
     
  11. Chubberson

    Chubberson Member

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    Melbourne hey!! Good spot. I was born in RAdelaide. Mate I am still in South Oz on the west coast or Eyre Peninsula. Good to see a few lads around the place, it sure is a small world :) Whats the states like to live in?
     
  12. Chubberson

    Chubberson Member

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    S23/MD3 vs Shanghied Shanks coached by the 'Podcast Guy' Mynock

    "Prisoners on the loose!!" Some filthy city elf yelled in sarcasm as the team wagon rolled up the pier to the make shift pitch. It seemed an animal barge was all these bi sexual's could afford. Wafting in with the gentle sea breeze the thick stench of raw sewerage permeated the docks, a green brown stain accompanying the tidal flow past the dock and out the city's bay entrance. HOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!!! A booming barge horn crashed through the air to signal the prisoners kicking off, in turn, drowned out by the 33000 strong 'pro' elf crowd (pun intended). Softy caught the kick with ease, running back to pass to Cockeyed who's seasons of experience meant a measured assessment of the situation. A dwarfs leg had been snapped through the femur, bent at right angles, the medic put the prisoner out of his misery, internal rupturing of the main artery not boding well for the future of his survival. Two more LOS dwarfs go down, the blitz failing to make an impression on a blitzer, the stout dwarf keeping the same facial expression throughout the ordeal.

    Keeping out of range, the super fast elves play a complex game of fat and mouse. A massively rotund repugnant limping being charges down an elf who breaks on impact, squaring the ledger. The rest of the team moves to a zone defence. In a spray of dust the thrower switches flanks keeping out of range, a team blitz showing the guard he is in the big leagues putting him down for an extended period. While the violence transpires, around him his gang move in to support, elves frolic in the back half with gay abandon. With the dwelf threatening, Cockeyed pulls the trigger on a bullet sent low far and hard to Gambit who collects on the run taking the pigskin deep into the dwarf half. Cockeye takes a huge hit as the crowd falls silent, gracefully twisting at the last, he and his opponent hit the turf unscathed.

    The prison beards surround the elves trying their best to intimidate the child likes, who re-position to the right, a delaying tactic used to good effect. An approving crowd roars at Temp's blitz who along with the local ale, whips the cheering residents into maniacal chanting, hitting the dwarf and upending the little fatty with ease. The Machine closes on Ignatious' position, surfing an elf into and over the end zone, so caught up in taunting the crowd, guard fails to see the rushing danger and is caught from behind. In turn the surfer becomes the surfee as the Shanks comfortably run in the TD.

    The Crowd bays wildly. Turned on by what they see, some elves in the stands really start to fuck. Much to prisoner 347's delight, who happily and publicly obliges, choking his chicken furiously. "It was small" voices an approving spectator unlucky enough to witness the mad things 'tackle'. FFFFHHHRRRTTTTT!!!! The ball flies through the air and the expertly coached elves press the ball, a desperate and mad scramble ensues, an elf tripping clumsily, the gang surrounds and protects the ball with their lives. Two loud cracks are heard, following are two elves leaving the pitch, one permanently. HOOOOOOOOOOTTT!! Local sentiment is high, the noise is now deafening and the local county militia shift nervously on the cobblestones lining the wharf. Huddling uncomfortably amongst the city filth, rotten fruit rain down around them. Some stern words from the captain who watches on injured, get the head space right, screaming at them, "get your fucking shit together you shit grubbing about worms!!!!!!" amongst other tactically negligent ramblings.

    FFFFHHHRRRRTT!!!!! Landing short, the dwarfs surround the ball, the agile one securing it in one hand whilst at full pace, audible gasps can be heard around the stadium as the thing that runs moves as fast as an elf. Not to be intimidated, the lightly armored elves hit back, jostling for position in the maelstrom of bodies. Subtly folding around an elf, a blocker gives a signal to the slayer. Trying to say "let me kill it", all that comes out is "ggrrr didid fliggigooaaarrgghh!!", apparently eating rotters is no good for the brain. The clearly physically enhanced redhead takes off, hitting a brave elf waist high, shoulder plate viciously cracking bone beneath. Is a hole appearing?? The elves surround the slayer and one brutally stomps him in the head, splitting skin but nothing else. Inspired, more elves join the fray and knock over two more dwarfs. The maul moves right, continuously trying to force a dodge and break up structure. While holding off an experienced blocker with his bretheren, an elven catcher is taken by surprise, a dwarf sliding knee first into his leg, breaking the ankle severely. The crowd scream at the ref to open his fucking eyes, bottles flying onto the pitch and showering the ref in glass.

    Drilled masterfully, the elves begin to show a little fear and the line is faltering, they give little ground, retreating only to re position. Sensing a half chance the Shanks fold to the right flank, pressing the carrier, the gang respond by fluidly shifting to the left, forcing the forward defensive structure of the elves to break down. Sensing the urgency, Tally Ho and Co foul the mad thing knocking it out, not before a team mate rushes to his aid and shakes him out of his sleepy daze, struggling to maintain balance the slayer tries to rise but cant, yet..........taking another foul, the gang push the depleted line in desperation, surviving a solid shot on the ball. CRACK!! THOOOMPP!!! metal on bone signals yet more elves leaving the pitch, one is out cold, the other groggily spitting out dirt and wood. The dwelf, sprints left in between two mates and takes cover. Dodging out, a particularly strong elf stares down the two dwarfs defiantly and smashes into the runner off a long run, nearly dislodging the ball.

    Assistants scream from the sideline time being of high import, seeing the staff but not hearing, the three remaining covering dwarfs sense the moment and heave as one, moving the elf clear as the runner strides past. Sprinting through the screen, 666 taunts the catcher after fending him off in majestic fashion, a palm flush to the chest putting valuable space between the two. Showing the ball to the crowd, sweat runs from his brow and into his eyes from the rhythmic jolt of his boots striking the turf, looking through his face grid he sees row upon row of disapproving faces. Yelling like an animal, veins bulging in his forehead 666 screams, a gut curdling sound of elation piercing the din of the stadium YEEEAAAAAGGGGGHHHH!!!!!!!.............and so ends MD3

    Was a great match and very enjoyable. Happy with the draw given a blitz and perfect defence. 2-1-0 and Chorfs next week.
     
    Last edited: Jun 29, 2014
  13. HC Vanselow

    HC Vanselow Member

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    Southern California is nice as I've got an Undead team in a 14 team league and currently am at 5-1-5. Keep in touch, Chubberson, for it's always awesome to talk with other Aussies about Blood Bowl.
     
  14. Chubberson

    Chubberson Member

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    No probs mate I am about the place a bit. You got a team blog somewhere??
     
  15. HC Vanselow

    HC Vanselow Member

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    Used to have one, Lord knows how many pages it's pushed back now from not having any additional reports put in !!!
     
  16. Nikolai II

    Nikolai II Super Moderator Moderator

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    Threads started by HC Vanselow in the Team Blogs section:

    http://bbtactics.com/forums/aristotle-agyrazkodas-sports-network-t1993/ (Two posts)

    http://bbtactics.com/forums/mt-mikilenberg-51ers-t3345/ (Dwarves)

    http://bbtactics.com/forums/aristotle-agyrazkodas-network-t3573/ (Several teams)

    Any of these? (I didn't check how many pages back they were though - that'd take real effort :p)
     
  17. Chubberson

    Chubberson Member

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    Hey who and what is chaps Nik?? Obviously a very good player, but to have his own badge?? He must be truly something, foul or block??
     
  18. Nikolai II

    Nikolai II Super Moderator Moderator

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    I expected cjblackburn to have given the full story by now.

    In short Chaps was "Why can't we have trousers"' Snow Troll (Yehetee), killed by a Ziggurat block in a bounty hunting competition, after the apothecary had already gone to save an Ulfwerener.
    Long story he's also the Savior of the World and Patron Saint of Blood Bowl teams (that are faring poorly) - maybe in part due to his Martyrdom on the pitch.
     
  19. TravelScrabble

    TravelScrabble Well-Known Member

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    Surely you can't say that without at least doing this http://bbtactics.com/forums/bc-why-cant-we-have-trousers-t2965/

    One of the greatest team blogs this site has ever carried
     
  20. Chubberson

    Chubberson Member

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    Cheers TS :)