Khemri The Lords of Dusty Past (Retired Team)

[Grim Madder]

http://warhammerfantasy.wikia.com/wiki/Tomb_Kings

The True Words of Immortal Truth
by
Kizzup Toass
Scribe to the Mighty Lords and Gods​

I have been given the great honor of chronicling the exploits of the finest Blood Bowl team ever created. My magnificent lords have allowed me, yes me your humble scribe, the chance to utter words about their greatness. This group of immortal gods have named themselves "The Lords of Dusty Past". Please all reflect on that name. How glorious it is. Remember it and pray to them.

LoDP came to be as these supreme entities discussed ways to enlighten us mere common races to their eliteness. Their extremely wise decision was to join one of the lower forms of entertainment; Blood Bowl. As was correctly pointed out, the Lords are the winners simply for existing and whatever the scoreboard states is actually incorrect. The Lords, of course, are the first and therefore ultimate beings.

The inaugural team consisted of these mighty and awe-inspiring souls.

 

[Grim Madder]

Game Day - Season 01, Game 01 - Lords of Dusty Past v Poo-Flingers (Nurgle)​

The Lords marched onto the pitch resplendent in the holy uniforms of dark. They were beautiful. The crowd at the Dust Bowl were stunned by their gloriousness.

It was unfortunate that the other side were Nurgle. A most inauspicious team to be sure.

During the game a most amazing thing occured. His Holiness, Protein Sux, was visciously molested by a smelly thing and was hit to the ground with much force. The opponents roared and cheered talking about death of all things. The crowd sighed and tears flowed aplenty, but only for those who do not understand our Lords of Mightyness. Dear Lord Protein had simply chosen not to be. An amazing thing. A feat worthy of a true god!

The Lords, however, worked well and strong. As the game moved into the 14th turn, his Lordship, Thrown a Joint Out, was one space from the TD zone, and needed just a push on his rather smelly and unworthy opponent by fellow wonderful being, Holes for Nose.

The crowd were stunned as The Lords of Lords was cruelly treated. First a dub-skull and then dub-bothdown on the re-roll meant his grace was outblocked. I mean block, what a cowardly skill.

Alas! The Lords were mightily vexed. The game ended 0-0 on the scoreboard, but of course The Lords of Dusty Past are the moral victors.

All praise our Lords.

The fateful moment

​

SPP Leaders

1. Lost a Nail - Tomb Guardian 5
2. Tendons are for Wimps - Blitzra 2

 

[Borke]

A moral victory indeed! If noone scores, then the team that took the ball closest to the end zone is clearly the winner.

 

[Grim Madder]

Game Day - Season 01, Game 02 - Lords of Dusty Past v The Cool Bois (Elven Union)
​

The Lords of plentiful talent were much suprised to see their opponents. Who were these masked, full-bodied beings with spiky white hair. Where were the respectable Wood Elves, Dark Elves, and even the slightly more respectable High Elves? These children seemed to mock them with their manner. The Lords were not amused.

No new Tomb Guardian had been purchased as yet because the Lords did not understand the concept of money. Surely, the most magnificent of races should not be required to hand over pathetic metals just to have another Lord of Impressiveness play. Apparently they were!

The Lords again played slow moving, beautiful bloodbowl. It was wonderful to watch them move 2 squares and then swing their mighty arms. Fate was fickle though and the cheeky dodging hairdo's refused to go down under the influence of our Lordly blows. Not only that, but they would often run away! Yes, they would run off and form what some call the "Elf Screen". Our Lords called it "Coward Ball".

The drive stalled in turn 7 as His Worship, Thrown a Joint Out, attempted a glorious pass to the free and clear Majesty, Loose Lobes, only to be undone by a most grevious roll. The Lords were being mocked for their magnificence.

The second half resulted in much fortune for the lackadaisical, undisciplined children. They danced and pranced and dodged and passed all with much success. Our Lords were confronted by a scoreboard that read 0-1 after 10 turns! The Lords had even suffered more injuries, ah, I mean early meditation periods, than their far less worthy opponents.

The Heroes of Everlasting Life did not give up and again moved forward to just over half way. Then on Turn 14, the mightiest of managers called on the heavens and a fireball blasted those opponents blocking the righteous path.

Alas, not a white hair was singed! The Lords finished the half with the ball but without a score.

Of course, this was again a moral victory for our Legion of Honour as they held the ball far longer than their spineless opponents!

Stiif Upper Chin Bone attempts to foil a dodging child

The inglorious pass made by the insolent opposition

​

SPP Leaders

1. Lost a Nail - Tomb Guardian 5
2. Holes for Nose - Skeleton 5
   
3. Tendons are for Wimps - Blitzra 2
4. Eye Need No Lids - Tomb Guardian 2

​

 

[Ilgoth]

Great start for your blog, wish your team enjoyable career!

 

[Grim Madder]

Game Day - Season 01, Game 03 - In Ogre Your Head (Ogre) v The Lords of Dusty Past​

All Hail Our New Lord:
Tomb Guardian - Brokendown Hipjoint​

The Lords faced their first game away from the hallowed Dust Bowl. It was a arduous trip to the high wide mountains where the Ogres lived, and our holiest of holies were much bothered by the journey. They were joined by Setekh the most starrish of stars.

The game felt predetermined from the start. The faultless lord, Loose Lobes, was injured on the opening drive, and the trend was set for the rest of the day's match.

The Ogres were ready for the fight. Perhaps unusually so. There was much murmering from the travelling fans about foul play. These unintelligent lumps of flesh were doing everything perfectly. Most suspicious!

The Lords attempted to defend but when the pious guardian, Stiff upper Chin Bone, was knocked out, the door was wide open for these overperfoming Ogres. Still, our stately contestants fought to the end forcing the ball holding Ogre to dodge clear and lumber into the endzone on their final turn.

There was much concern for the exalted Stiff upper Chin Bone who was unable to be woken twice before the second half started. These brave Lords started the next period under-bodied.

The Lords started well in the second period pushing up the left flank. Turn 10, however, brought much misfortune. Lord Spinal Krap was knocked out and then Setekh the skilled was so grievously hurt he would need treatment from his own holy apo to ever play again.

This was compounded by Tendons are for Wimps attempting a dodge no wholly sane player would make (misclick) leaving our Lords horribly exposed. Oh, of course, our beloved Tendons are for Wimps was pushed by a cheating Ogre, but this was missed by the referee. Our Lord is extremely intelligent. He holds wondrous discussions about many topics. I love my Lord!

Turn 12 started with the regal Brokendown Hipjoint making a block which resulted in him being removed unmoving from the field. The game was effectively over. With hardly any players on the pitch, the Lords continued to do their mightiest, dut these foul, fat, uncouth piles of camel manure were not satisfied. They hunted down and forced our wondrous Collar Bone Down to decide to end his own existence. The sadness was mixed with much elation at the Lord's impressive feat.

The game ended in a 2-0 loss on the scoreboard, but it is obvious that our lords were the moral victors due to their far more ethical behavior.

A final look at the graceful Collar Bone Down

Our brave lords battling the odds stoically

SPP Leaders
Lost a Nail - Tomb Guardian 5 / Holes for Nose - Skeleton 5 / Spinal Krap - Skeleton 5 / Tendons are for Wimps - Blitzra 2 / Eye Need No Lids - Tomb Guardian 2

THE GREAT HALL OF EVERLASTING DEPARTURE


20/01/2018 - Protein Sux - Tomb Guardian - Games 1, SPP 0 - Killed by Raaarz Dingleberry
08/02/2018 - Collar Bone Down - Skeleton - Games 3, SPP 2 - Killed by It's Ogre to You​

 

[Grim Madder]

Game Day - Season 01, Game 04 - On the Howl (Necro) v The Lords of Dusty Past​

The Lords had been oh so busy during the week leading up to the game making sure the glorious kingdom was run to perfection. Therefore, they seemed a little distracted for their game against the Necromantic team and their flea-ridden mutts.

The Lords received at the start of the first half. The match started with our agile Lords moving from side to side attempting to keep the wolf ball carrier in check. Turn 4, however, saw the stunning of 2 great warriors, and a KO against Loose Lobes the eloquent. Once again, the Lords found themselves frightfully outnumbered.

Still, these Lords of willing did not consider defeat. They kept at the ball carrier, hoping for a mistake or an opening to behold them. There was much pushing and blocking with no real advantage to either side until on turn 7 a mangy mutt made a decisive dodge. The heroic guardian of faith, Lost a Nail, made one last desperate attempt to smash that bedraggled canine to the turf only to slip on some of it's feces. Disgraceful! They should not be allowed on the same pitch us our heavenly fathers. 1-0 to the fools.

The second half was not a memorable affair. The Lords needed to thin the numbers of their unworthy opponents, but the God of Painful Endings ignored our Lords wholesome efforts.

By turn 11, the ball was again in the opposition's claws. The wolf was dodging and picking balls up like a slimy goblin; Related perhaps! Turn 12 saw the outnumbered Lords valiantly watch a second score go against them.

It was a sad day indeed for the many who had come to the stadium to see a game of Blood Bowl, but instead saw a bunch of animals treating the pitch like a frisbee field. There was no doubt for those souls who left the ground that our Lords were the moral victors simply for not being dogs!

..

Dodge by a dog and then an unfortunate accident

The Great Lord, Lost a Nail, deserved more than this! See the poop on the ground!!

​

SPP Leaders
Lost a Nail - Tomb Guardian 5 / Holes for Nose - Skeleton 5 / Spinal Krap - Skeleton 5 / Stiff upper Chine Bone - Tomb Guardian 5 / Tendons are for Wimps - Blitzra 2 / Eye Need No Lids - Tomb Guardian 2 / Skull Ducker - Blitzer 2 - Yup... 4 games; No skill ups!

THE GREAT HALL OF EVERLASTING DEPARTURE


20/01/2018 - Protein Sux - Tomb Guardian - Games 1, SPP 0 - Killed by Raaarz Dingleberry
08/02/2018 - Collar Bone Down - Skeleton - Games 3, SPP 2 - Killed by It's Ogre to You​

 

[TravelScrabble]

Glorious defeats do make for good blogs

 

[Grim Madder]

Glorious defeats do make for good blogs

Nice to know there is an upside!

 

[Grim Madder]

Game Day - Season 01, Game 05 - The Lords of Dusty Past v Buachailli na hEireann (Orcs)
​

There was much confusion in the build up to this game. Most of the Lords and many spectators were not sure if they would be facing a Blood Bowl team or a recipe for mushroom soup! I mean, at least make your team name pronouncable...foolishness!

The Lords of graceful outmaneuvers were aggrieved by this name choice and set about flailing their beautiful bony limbs in gay abandon after kicking the ball and defending the first turn. The merciless Lord, Holes for Nose, inflicted an early injury.

Not to be outdone, the hardest of bone crunchers, Lord Rusty Knees, then killed a Black Orc on turn 2. The crowd were amazed at his highness's generosity to allow this poor mouth-breather freedom from its pitiful life. They were definitely saddened even more by the apo's disrespect for our Lord's wishes.

The Lords then set their mighty brains to blocking the underorced Orc's path. They continued to frustrate the green lumps of muscle until in turn 6 the brilliant blitzing Lord Eye Need No Lids forced the ball free and the great guardian Lord Broken Down Hipjoint caught the ensuring spill. This effectively ended the first half. 0-0.

The second half became a case of protecting the ball as our sticky fingered Lords had some issues picking the slippery thing up. It was suggested the ball had been covered in Orc sweat making it much harder to grasp. Cheaters! In the end, the Orcs actually helped in turn 11 by pushing a Lord onto the ball where it bounced straight into Lord Spinal Krap's bony fingers. The Orcs then surrounded our courageous Lord.

Lord Tendons are for Wimps blocked Lord Spinal Krap free and he moved across to the right sideline behind a solid line of illustrious Lords. However, in turn 13, even as the crowd thought his Lord would get the first ever score, Lord Spinal Krap was put down and knocked out. The ball was free again!

The pressure built as the Khemri blockers freed up space for the ball, but his Lord Thrown a Joint Out could not pick it up using the last reroll. The Lords had bashed their way to a two player advantage, but could they get the ball!

It came down to turn 15. The ball sat against the sideline. His Lordship, the light of lights, Thrown a Joint Out, took a deep breath and attacked the ball. Success! The most admired (and may I say dayum sexy) Lord grasped the ball and scampered to within one space of the end-zone. The hushed crowd stood and watched as at the start of turn 16, our glorious noble took one giant step for Khemrikind.

They won, they won, my lords, they won! The crowd prayed and babbled excitedly. Of course, our holiest warriors have not really ever lost, but at least the scoreboard agreed with them this time.

The moment of truth - Inaugural scorer "Thrown a Joint Out"

​

SPP Leaders
Spinal Krap - Skeleton 10 / Holes for Nose - Skeleton 7 / Lost a Nail - Tomb Guardian 5 / Stiff upper Chine Bone - Tomb Guardian 5 / Thrown a Joint Out - Throwra 3 / Tendons are for Wimps - Blitzra 2 / Eye Need No Lids - Tomb Guardian 2 / Skull Ducker - Blitzer 2 / Rusty Knees - Skeleton 2​

TODAY'S LEVEL UPS
Spinal Krap (Skeleton) - Guard
Holes for Nose (Skeleton) - Block​

THE GREAT HALL OF EVERLASTING DEPARTURE


20/01/2018 - Protein Sux - Tomb Guardian - Games 1, SPP 0 - Killed by Raaarz Dingleberry
08/02/2018 - Collar Bone Down - Skeleton - Games 3, SPP 2 - Killed by It's Ogre to You​

 

[Grim Madder]

Game Day - Season 01, Game 06 - The Lords of Dusty Past v Shinsei's Last Hoppers (Skaven)
​

All Hail Our New Lord:
Skeleton - Halfa Skull​

Rats! The Lords were most aggrieved. Surely, they were not expected to take the field against rats. Dogs were one thing, but rats.

The game started quickly, perhaps too quickly. The Lords were still adjusting their silken loincloths when the rats scored. Yes, it seems that there is something in the rules about once the ball has been kicked, the match has started.

The Lords were much dismayed at the referee's interpretation. Anyway, turn 2 finished 0-1.

Things progressed slowly which is the Lord's perogative. There was a slight setback on turn 5 when the beautifully balanced Lord Tendons are for Wimps pushed himself to the limit, slipped, and badly injured himself.

The Lord's moved to over halway and on turn 7 called on the fire gods. And behold a path was opened. The curvy Lord Thrown a Joint Out moved into scoring position.

Unfortuantely the rats from hell managed to blitz the ball free. Turn 8 started with the ball on the left touch line. The erstwhile Lord Stiff upper Chinbone took mercy on a particularly flea-bitten rat and killed it.

The ball was then manouvered artfully over the boundary where the kindly worshippers of our Lords threw it back in range of the well oiled Lord Rusty Knees. Sadly, due to a sore thumb knuckle, he rolled a 3 and failed the pickup. Half-time 0-1.

During the break both KOed rats refused to wake up. Who could blame them? Would anybody want to willingly face the Lords of Terror? Therefore. it started as 11 gods against 8 creatures of the devil.

A very deep kick put the Lords on the back foot. However, the first blitz by Lord Stiff upper Chinbone resulted in a KO. His holiness did not stop there. He decided to hold a mathematics lesson for the younger fans. He repeated the dose in turn 10 and turn 11. At each removal the crowd would chant out the number. What an enlightend soul!

Turn 13 and turn 15 saw further KOs meaning the Lords were facing just 2 rats as they started their last turn. His highscoring Lord Thrown a Joint Out stepped over the line to make it 1-1.

The smelly rodents got 6 players back and had the audacity to attempt a 1 turn touchdown. They pushed players around but the Highest of Gods, Nuffle, frowned at their very existence and the pass was failed.

A 1-1 draw. The Lords again the moral winners due to number of players put to sleep.

The situation at the start of turn 16. 8 v 2


A good day for his Lordship Stiff upper Chinbone

​

SPP Leaders
Holes for Nose - Skeleton 12 / Spinal Krap - Skeleton 10 / Stiff upper Chine Bone - Tomb Guardian 7 / Thrown a Joint Out - Throwra 6 / Lost a Nail - Tomb Guardian 5 / Tendons are for Wimps - Blitzra 2 / Eye Need No Lids - Tomb Guardian 2 / Skull Ducker - Blitzer 2 / Rusty Knees - Skeleton 2​

TODAY'S LEVEL UPS
Thrown a Joint Out (Throwra) - +agility
Stiff upper Chin Bone (Guardian) - Mighty Blow​

THE GREAT HALL OF EVERLASTING DEPARTURE


20/01/2018 - Protein Sux - Tomb Guardian - Games 1, SPP 0 - Killed by Raaarz Dingleberry
08/02/2018 - Collar Bone Down - Skeleton - Games 3, SPP 2 - Killed by It's Ogre to You​

 

[TravelScrabble]

Agility thro ra! What a result

 

[Grim Madder]

Agility thro ra! What a result

Yup, very useful indeed.

 

[Grim Madder]

Game Day - Season 01, Game 07 - Blackfire and the Dwarfs (Chorfs) v The Lords of Dusty Past
​

All Hail Our New Lord:
Throwra - Knotted Knuckles​

The Lords were told that they would need a win if they wished promotion this season. This confused them mightily. Lord Skull Ducker quite rightly asked for clarification. "Are we not undefeated? Are we not at the top of all known tables?" The offical (pfff) reply was, "No."

Anyway, as anticipated, the little men had problems kicking the ball and a touchback ensured. The Lord Thrown a Joint Out gave the ball the honor of being carried. The turn was rounded off by the rambunctious Lord Stiff upper Chin Bone causing harm to a dwarf blocker.

Turn 3 saw the ball just over the halfway line. The heavy hitting Lords Eye Need No Lids and Stiff upper Chinbone both picked up KOs on a blocker, but even more importantly, the bull centaur Blackfire.

The ball inched forward and Lord Stiff upper Chinbone caused another injury. The Lords could taste the endzone. They also gained much pleasure watching the Minotaur stand around the centerfield totally ignoring his coach for three turns. Stupid cow!

The Lords decided to score on turn 7 to avoid any unpleasantness. The twinkletoed Lord Thrown a Joint Out glided across the line. 1-0 to the Lords.

A riot ensured started by those lowly chorf supporters which meant the opposition had three turns to score. The injustice of it all! The chorfs indeed fashioned a chance to score but without rerolls the pass escaped the flappy hobgoblin hands.

The second half did not have the prettiest start. Lord Spinal Krap was put to sleep, and the great guardian Lord Lost a Nail was injured. He will be forced to miss the next game. This allowed a passing play (passing...disgraceful) to a floppy hobgoblin and the chorfs could see a quick equalizer. The Lords called down a lightning strike, but it failed to do enough.

Lord Holes for Nose made a valiant attempt to stop the score forcing the flippy hobo to make a one die blitz which worked. 1-1 after 10 turns.

The ball was kicked right to the endzone meaning the Lords needed to move the ball the whole length of the field in 5 turns! His stickied fingered highness Thrown a Joint Out picked up the ball without issue.

The Lords worked hard and by turn 15 the ball was within scoring distance. Both teams were without rerolls. A dodge and one die blitz by a hobgoblin saw the Lord pushed back one square but still in scoring range.

There was a sense of dejavu as the great Throwra launched himself at his opponent with a two die blitz. The dejavu was real; double-skulls, no score, 1-1 tie.

The Lords and supporters were dismayed by the result and their inabilty to convince those who listened that dejavu meant they were clearly the moral victors!

A massive one die block for the chorfs

Dejavu? Yep. Look at game 01

A key injury

​

SPP Leaders
Stiff upper Chine Bone - Tomb Guardian 13 / Holes for Nose - Skeleton 12 / Spinal Krap - Skeleton 10 / Thrown a Joint Out - Throwra 9 / / Rusty Knees - Skeleton 9 / Lost a Nail - Tomb Guardian 5 / Tendons are for Wimps - Blitzra 2 / Eye Need No Lids - Tomb Guardian 2 / Skull Ducker - Blitzra 2​

TODAY'S LEVEL UPS
Rusty Knees - Skeleton (Block)

THE GREAT HALL OF EVERLASTING DEPARTURE


20/01/2018 - Protein Sux - Tomb Guardian - Games 1, SPP 0 - Killed by Raaarz Dingleberry
08/02/2018 - Collar Bone Down - Skeleton - Games 3, SPP 2 - Killed by It's Ogre to You​

 

[Borke]

A most delightful read once again!

Congratulations on your Throw-Ra

 

[Grim Madder]

I have seen things; heard things. Our Lords have doubts and their divinity is under question. I know I should not write these words. I know I should keep these findings to myself, but am I not a scribe? Is it not what I was born to be? Even if these words stay private, I must record them.

After the last match, Loose Lobes told me in no uncertain terms to be brief in the match report. I was told not to discuss anything about luck or fate. At the time I was confused because surely the Lords had been victims of woeful fate. However, later I heard small parts of a deep discussion between Lost a Nail and Broken Down Hipjoint. They were questioning their eliteness. They were even questioning whether they still had the favour of the gods.

I soon found this to be common belief amongt the Lords. Skull Ducker was even more forthright when he stated that the god Nuffle had abandoned the lords. Why? He did not know.

These words and thoughts disturb me. Are our Lords truly unblessed?

Game Day - Season 01, Game 08 - Lords of Dusty Past v Exotic Bltz Package (Human)
​

Humans came to the stadium for matchday 8. They were warmly greeted by the Lords. The humans graciously acknowledged the superiority of the Lords, and stated they accepted they would lose no matter what the scoreboard said.

The humans used rerolls and a risky dodge on their first three turns with some (incredible luck) nice play to open the scoring. The Lords restarted by forming a solid cage. The cage was broken and an injury occurred to Lord Spinal Krap. Yes, the Lords had not even gained a stun, but the humans had inflicted a casualty. A failed hand off by Lord Knotted Knuckles, even with a reroll, left the Lords in a tough position. (Extremely lucky humans!) Well played humans!

The Lords then cleared the space around the ball allowing the chance for the cage to reform, but his agile Lord Thrown a Joint Out was unable to pick the ball up despite using a reroll.

History repeated itself moments later. The humans again got onto the ball. The Lords again cleared space and Lord Thrown a Joint Out again failed the pick up with a reroll. The ball scattered into the hands of the guardian Lord Broken Down Hipjoint.

Lord Broken Down Hipjoint was exposed, however, and a blitz saw him lose the ball. The ball (most fortunately) went straight into the hands of an unmarked human who ran into the touchdown zone. (I mean really, what was going on, the Lords were being diced completely.) The humans were undoubtedly playing well.

The half finished at 0-2. Good play in that half by the visitors. (Lucky bastards!)

The second half was normal fare. The Lords slowly advanced and made reasonable progression. On turn 13 the humans made four blocks which were all successful and included two more KOs (Can you freaking believe it!). This put the drive in jeopardy. The Lords moved the ball into scoring position on turn 14, but yet another well crafted KO on Lord Broken Down Hipjoint by those (lucky, lucky, lucky) well trained humans effectively ended the drive.

The game ended with the humans surrounding Lord Eye Need No Lids with the intent of causing grievous harm to this prone Lord. Yes, that's right. The humans, who had been welcomed and treated very nicely on the pitch by our Lords, resorted to a turn 16 foul. The crowd howled and screamed at the filthy apes! This would be remembered!!

The game ended 0-2. The stats may not reflect (how stupidly lucky the humans were) how the game panned out, but some three of four key moments (incredible unfortunate moments) decided the Lords fate. Blocking was not effective for the Lords today. The Lords made 43 blocks for 5 armor breaks. The Humans made 33 blocks for 12 armor breaks. (What kind of dumb luck is that!). Still, the Lords were without doubt the moral victors for not being too rough on their opponents and not resorting to fouling when the game was over!

The first score

The second score

SPP Leaders
Spinal Krap - Skeleton 15 / Stiff upper Chine Bone - Tomb Guardian 13 / Holes for Nose - Skeleton 12 / Thrown a Joint Out - Throwra 9 / Rusty Knees - Skeleton 9 / Lost a Nail - Tomb Guardian 5 / Tendons are for Wimps - Blitzra 2 / Eye Need No Lids - Tomb Guardian 2 / Skull Ducker - Blitzra 2​

TODAY'S LEVEL UPS
There was no SPP given for this game at all besides the MVP

THE GREAT HALL OF EVERLASTING DEPARTURE


20/01/2018 - Protein Sux - Tomb Guardian - Games 1, SPP 0 - Killed by Raaarz Dingleberry
08/02/2018 - Collar Bone Down - Skeleton - Games 3, SPP 2 - Killed by It's Ogre to You​

 

[Grim Madder]

I am afraid it is true! The team is not only unblessed but cursed! Please hear me out my Lords supporter. This team suffered today. Truly suffered. The Lords looked lost. They looked abandoned. They understand now that the gods have decided to move on. I saw into their skulls and my Lords are haunted even scared.

I am unsure what to do. Will I to be cursed? Should I try to escape the Lords service? But no. I must stay. The risks are too great to attempt to leave. I will stay and do my job and pray to my own gods and hope they have not deserted me.

The tradegy of today is fresh. The Lords are silent. The kingdom is saddened. Will the team even go on again next season?

Game Day - Season 01, Game 09 - Lords of Dusty Past v Real Big Emcees (Dwarves)
​

This report is not easy to write. Our Lords, our mighty mighty Lords, were the subject of a great disservice today. The casualty list was high and another chance of a win, or surely a draw, were taken from their bony fingers.

The casualty list from today:

• Skull Ducker
• Loose Lobes
• Rusty Knees
• Halfa Skull

Yes. All these fine skeleton Lords were injured. But, the crime of crimes, the sadness of all sadness was the end of our great Lord Stiff upper Chinbone. All were shocked by the Lord's choice to leave the team and this existence. The team is but a shadow of its former self.

In the first half the dwarves mashed and bullied their way forward, but even then, even greatly outnumbered, the Lords were punished by a dwarf dodge to get out of trouble.

Then when the ball was eventually knocked over the sideline, it was returned to right in front of an agility plus dwarf who could pick it up and waddle into the endzone on turn 8.

That still did not mean the result was done.

In the second half the Lords cleverly guided the dwarves to the right side of the pitch, and when the fireball failed, they used Lord Thrown a Joint Out to swing across and quick pass it to Lord Knotted Knuckles who moved to within scoring distance.

Only one dwarf could reach the Lord but a 4+ dodge and a GFI would be needed. He made it. Then the brave Lord Skull Ducker needed a GFI to give an assist for the Lords to surely score, but the GFI failed. The ball was knocked over the line, and it was thrown right down the other end for the dwarves to score again.

These Lords are beaten and in mourning. The winnings left them 10k short of replacing the mighty Lord Stiff upper Chin Bone. Where do they go from here?

Released
The throwra Knotted Knuckles left the team. - Reason: TV concerns

Surely the Lords will score?

SPP Leaders
Spinal Krap - Skeleton 15 / Holes for Nose - Skeleton 12 / Thrown a Joint Out - Throwra 9 / Rusty Knees - Skeleton 9 / Lost a Nail - Tomb Guardian 5 / Loose Lobes 5 / Tendons are for Wimps - Blitzra 2 / Eye Need No Lids - Tomb Guardian 2 / Skull Ducker - Blitzra 2​

TODAY'S LEVEL UPS
None

THE GREAT HALL OF EVERLASTING DEPARTURE


20/01/2018 - Protein Sux - Tomb Guardian - Games 1, SPP 0 - Killed by Raaarz Dingleberry
08/02/2018 - Collar Bone Down - Skeleton - Games 3, SPP 2 - Killed by It's Ogre to You
24/03/2018 - Stiff upper Chin Bone - Tomb Guardian - Games 9. SPP 15 - Killed by Snacklemore​

 

[TravelScrabble]

You probably won't get relegated if past seasons are anything to go by so don't worry too much about TV. Another season in tier 3 will do the team good

 

[Grim Madder]

You probably won't get relegated if past seasons are anything to go by so don't worry too much about TV. Another season in tier 3 will do the team good

Actually we are in tier 4. I am praying we stay there! Since we will be facing many new teams I want the TV to come down a little. Anyway a second throwra was a luxury at this stage. I need that 4th Tomb Guardian!!

 

[TravelScrabble]

Oh yeah you may stay in tier 4, nobody did last season but that was a bit exceptional