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Where did I go wrong (Colloq. "Fail of the Day")

Discussion in 'Crunch Cup' started by Nikolai II, Oct 15, 2012.

  1. Nikolai II

    Nikolai II Super Moderator Moderator

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    This is to announce a new periodical in the Crunch Cup Courier, created for the betterment of mankind and the amusement of all. At least if you define "mankind" as "those coaches willing to showcase their mistakes for the world in an attempt to get perhaps useful advice" and your definition of all is "people amused by reading about this sort of thing".

    Anyway, as was outlined in the Play of the Day thread earlier (see the thread http://bbtactics.com/forums/play-day-t1123/ , more notably post http://bbtactics.com/forums/play-day-t1123/page8/#post46694 ) this thread is an open invitation for those Crunch Cup Coaches who feel that they had a cunning plan, but it all ended up in tears. (Or at least the said cunning plan did not pan out, and finally turned out to not produce the desired result at all, or even the opposite to the desired result.)

    If you feel you have a play that did not end up like you had wished it to, please post about it in this thread. Mention which game it was, what your plan was and roughly when it was supposed to go down.
    You can make a more blanket request if you wish, but people saying what their plan was will get preference, since that allows for a more structured study and makes it easier to come with constructive (as opposed to just creative) feedback.

    You are also free to post questions about everything and anything surrounding plays. Just be aware that anything posted in this thread can be used in the Courier. Also please be aware that snarky comments are possible, unless kindness is specifically requested.

    Welcome to post.
    Signed:
    Renko Fedorenko
     
  2. Flanks

    Flanks Member

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    I am a dwarf coach.

    My plan on turn1, is always to punch everyone on the other team and get a death on each one of them.

    So far, my plan has failed in every single CC match that I have ever played.

    Surely this run of bad luck is worthy of the new periodical article?
     
  3. Nikolai II

    Nikolai II Super Moderator Moderator

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    I'm afraid that you are looking for the column "Dwarfhaters 101 - Why to hate longbeards with a fiery passion rivalling that of a thousand burning suns".

    I'll need a more specific plan than just "This entire game I wanted to kill all the opponents players, why did it fail". I'm looking more for "I was just going to surf that player of his, but the next turn he surfed three of my players. Where did I go wrong?"

    Noticed that last sentence there. You are supposed to be able to add that to the end of your question. It should even be your question. Feel the question. Be the question.

    -

    So if we rephrase your offering we get "I am a dwarf coach. Where did I go wrong?"

    Ooh boy. This is a big one. But I'm not sure the Anti-"short and bearded muscular beer-drinking gentlemen's" defamation league will allow me to do the full run of answers to that question.

    But rest assured, you will get an answer come publication day.

    We are thankful for your offering.
    Signed:
    Renko Fedorenko
     
  4. Lebe666

    Lebe666 Well-Known Member

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    What went wrong ?

    Easy. You play Dwarves.

    Next question... :cool:
     
  5. Nikolai II

    Nikolai II Super Moderator Moderator

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    So.. Lebe666, is it?

    To rephrase your offering... "Next question... where did I go wrong?"

    This one I can field immediately:
    You are not the official answerer or caller of questions.

    This thread is to be a welcoming harbour for those in need. It is also to be a swift kick to the rear of anyone not in need. You, sir, seem to qualify in the latter department.

    Therefore I will ask you to not let your shoddy words come in and drag verbal mud over the fine carpets, nor should your "smileys" wipe their grimy hands on the curtains.
    If you have a valid request for help, feel free to pose it as eloquently as you might be able. If you have anything else to say, prepare to be lambasted for it until I get bored with your antics.

    Now, next question..?
    Signed
    Renko Fedorenko
     
  6. crimsonsun

    crimsonsun Well-Known Member

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    With so many Elven teams in my division can you tell me what I should have done in my MD2 game? the orginal replay Lebb has stored in bbmanager for uploading, I was going to lose 2-0 and i dont know what i could have done to change things.

    Thanks Crimsonsun
     
  7. Barmution

    Barmution Well-Known Member

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    Mr. Fedorenko,

    I recently lost a match with my Lizardmen against some despicable Wood Elves. I realize now that my choice of Skinks for several cage corners, or even caging at all, against an agile opponent with Wizardly assistance was a pretty harebrained choice considering the result was two hurt Skinks, one more knocked down and a stunned Saurus, directly contributing to my defeat. Well, enough about my obvious shortcomings; what I really wonder is what I could have done to lessen the odds for such spectacular failure. Feel free to educate me in whatever form you see fit, sir.

    Sincerely,
    Barmution, esq.
     
  8. Nikolai II

    Nikolai II Super Moderator Moderator

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    Two supplicants who actually seem interested in bettering themselves have arrived.

    Sadly neither of them have one particular play to review, complete with their own plan, when it happened and what they had hoped would happen.

    However, Mr. Barmution has summed up that he wonders what went wrong with his brilliant plan of using skinks as cage corners, and that might be just enough to follow up on. Especially since it is also from the first match day.

    Meanwhile I might also look into Mr. Crimsonsun's little dilemma for my. The answer might not warrant publication in the Courier, but what kind of letter column would I be holding if I could not let answers go out to my readers in need?

    Now, I am still looking for more applications for the second match day.
    Signed
    Renko Fedorenko
     
  9. crimsonsun

    crimsonsun Well-Known Member

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    Dear Mr Renko Fedorenko

    I would initially like apologise for my previous informal and vague request, I see now that you are a gentleman of scholarly note and I failed to address you as such.

    My dilemma is a most serious one, currently I find myself in the most fortunate position of head coach of A Plague Upon Your House, a inexperienced team devoted to our beloved Great Father Nurgle, despite the vast amount of potential the team has, this potential has not yet been cultivated into the experienced veterans that I will need to progress in this most prestigious Crunch Cup X. Yet this in itself is but a pestilent boil appearing on the surface the true issue is a most virulent one. We are currently positioned in Division Two, a Division which is predominately composed with Elven Kindred, who a an infectious blight upon Papa Nurgles Domain. Even the non Asari teams in the divisions are ones specialising in speedy agility based play!

    My question to you my most esteemed master is how can I compete with such a contagion, are they any stratagems I should be using that will inoculate me from defeat at there hands? A report containing a cable vision broadcast of my recent exposure can be found in Blood Bowl Manager under THN1 League MD5.

    Thanks you for taking the time to help this humble priest, and I will shall with you my most resistant blessings if you are demonstrate my failures and produce me a cure to this Plague that ravages my Division.

    Magnus Fatuous Pustule.
     
  10. Nikolai II

    Nikolai II Super Moderator Moderator

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    I stand corrected, sir. After your nightly visit through my front door, apparently straight from the pub by accordance to my housekeepers description of a smell like bad curry and used beer, I might have not been fully inclined to extract a complete explanation from you and mistakenly treated you like a hoodlum of some sort or other.

    But by your letter I find you to be a man of sense and sensibility and I have to admit that my first impression of you was quite erroneous. I am happy to see that your arm regenerated, judging by the sharp writing. I hope it will similarly please you that the carpenters have now restored my chambers to workable conditions.

    Your question is quite valid and meritorious, so I will give it my full attention and offer my answer in the journal of next week, some eight days hence, hoping it will still carry some use for you then. In the meantime I suggest you also study the upcoming column where one of your fellow Crunch Cup coaches did ask a question that is tangentially related to yours. At least some notions about the use of superior strength might be useful until I can extend a slightly extended essay towards your issue.

    To finish, I shall paraphrase another sage: Blessings? I don't need no stinking blessings.
    Signed
    Renko Fedorenko
     
  11. Nikolai II

    Nikolai II Super Moderator Moderator

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    Alas, the third matchday is soon to be over, and none have come forth to offer a conundrum for my consideration? And to think that after the game between the proud champions of Undead Weight against the Crunch Cup punching bags (a.k.a. the Blonde Bombers) I could have sworn the coach expressed sentiments about asking for my advice. More the pity, since without anything to write about I can not be paid for my writing.

    Please get those quill pens snapping to put my mind both at ease and test.
    Signed
    Renko Fedorenko
     
  12. John McGuirk

    John McGuirk Well-Known Member

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    Sir,

    I am the head coach of the somewhat less than renowned High Elf franchise High on the Supply, and following our recent defeat to the Goat Ravishers I have been left in a quandary. I have also been left in a quarry, which is a significantly different kind of problem, but the two are related as the former was prompted by this aforementioned defeat, and the latter by my team driving me out to a disused quarry in their subsequent anger and threatening to 'bury [me] here with a cap in [my] ass' should it happen again.

    I am satisfied that my strategy for the first half was basically sound, and that what mistakes were made would be of little interest to your readers. In the second period, however, adversity struck in a form with regard to which I believe we might all benefit from your wisdom. You see, between the ravages of the midsummer heat and a ravishing from the, er, Ravishers, I found myself marshalling five healthy Elves against eight Humans in what was to prove an abortive attempt at a defensive drive.

    My question is three-fold:

    1) What would you generally recommend as the way to approach defensive drives with a player deficit?
    2) How would you have handled this particular drive differently? Discouraged by the seeming ineffectiveness of my specialist man-marker in the first half, I gave myself over to rather foolhardy attempts to dodge into the cage - presumably I could have done something less desperate?
    3) At what point should one just throw in the towel and concentrate on preserving one's players?

    The thought of the enlightenment guaranteed to issue from your pen will provide me with much-needed inner ballast as I make my way back up these treacherous boulders. I remain your ever-humble supplicant,

    John McGuirk
     
    Last edited: Oct 29, 2012
  13. Nikolai II

    Nikolai II Super Moderator Moderator

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    A both eloquent and excellent question. It may well stump me, but I shall endeavour to give it some due consideration.

    For being immortal, elves seem to die a lot.
    Signed
    Renko Fedorenko
     
  14. Fallowheart

    Fallowheart Active Member

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    A Fail Indeed...

    Dear Mr. Fedorenko,

    It is with a heavy heart and the utmost urgency I write to you this day. I have read your most recent column and applaud your efforts to enlighten the masses. My own enlightenment is sorely needed it seems, which brings me to why I am writing you thus.

    I would like to direct your attention to a recent match of the BarrowRun Blightstalkers versus the Ladies of Danger. One particular Lady proved quite dangerous, and after removing two players from the field, she continued to sow terror among my rats. After a battle with attrition was sorely lost, my plays became more and more desperate and far-reaching. In point of fact, I was only able to keep the game more or less equal on the scoreboard due to the supernatural agility of my fastest players. I'm sure my question will tie nicely into Mr. McGuirks query, as a rat-defecit needed to be overcome and I don't believe that I was successful in doing so.

    Could you review this game and comment on my glaring coaching errors?
    I would direct you to a particular portion of the game, but it felt so abysmal that I myself can't pick out one part worse than another.

    Cheers,

    Coach Fallowheart
     
  15. Nikolai II

    Nikolai II Super Moderator Moderator

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    And already a question for the following week. Here I was worrying about a dearth of good questions and examining my options among other literary pursuits, and suddenly I am inundated with model letters.

    I understand the need for speed, but alas that the turnaround speed for getting a hold of a (cheap enough) Cabalvision transmission of your game does make that nigh impossible.

    But a thorough investigation of coach McGuirk's game will be done, and maybe that will help you a little in the way you suggested. There are considerable similarities between your teams, even if I doubt that one of the lofty elves would accept that suggestion.

    Although I hear those elves as high in other ways than the usual.
    Signed
    Renko Fedorenko
     
  16. Barninho

    Barninho Well-Known Member

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    My dear Mr Fedorenko,

    I write to you as manager of Reservoir Goats regarding my previous match against the ASS family, the free scoring Pro Elves with an 100% record prior to this fixture. You may wonder why I'm writing this given that particular record was halted with a 1-0 victory for the Chaos team, but my problem is this...

    At the end of the game, 4 of my opponents were still able to stand. Is there any way I could have avoided this undesirable outcome? And does a failure to break more elf armour make me any less of a man?

    Yours faithfully, Barninho.
     
    Last edited: Nov 13, 2012
  17. Panda with issues

    Panda with issues Member

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    This is indeed a terrible conundrum.
     
  18. Nikolai II

    Nikolai II Super Moderator Moderator

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    Indeed. Yet it is a question, which I am in dire need of to be able to host a column. So it will have to be answered in the next edition of the Courier.

    Beggars can't be choosers.
    Signed
    Renko Fedorenko
     
  19. John McGuirk

    John McGuirk Well-Known Member

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  20. Fallowheart

    Fallowheart Active Member

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    I look forward to this next installment; it will be most revealing i'm sure.