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Chaos Dwarf Zharrmin Ultra Soft

Discussion in 'Team Blogs' started by Rocketdeath, Oct 7, 2019.

  1. Rocketdeath

    Rocketdeath Active Member

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    The gentleman walked with a slight limp, supported by his silver handled cane. He wore dark leathers and a long coat well tailored. He had huge grey sideburns and several trinkets of silver were visible on his person showing him to be a man of means. Blood bowl teams of varying races were gathered in groups scattered about. The lone man was hardly even noticed among the colorful and diverse crowds. He stopped for a moment and surveyed the scene, appraising the teams and coaches, sizing them up. He noticed several teams of vampires were present, hooded and covered up though they were, they still stuck to the shaded areas. He grimaced and eyed them very suspiciously. The Alderman hated vampires and he absentmindedly brushed his fingers on the old scars on his tanned neck.

    After a moment he turned away from the cursed creatures and approached the signup tables and waited to be addressed.

    "Can I help you?" said the man sitting behind the table in an annoyed tone.

    "Yes my good sir, I am here to sign up a blood bowl team for the Big Crunch 2."

    The man looked even more annoyed now making a show to look around the man for the team which obviously was not there. "Well where in Morr's Realm are they? All players are supposed to be present as well. They need to register and sign their waivers."

    "Oh I'm sure an exception can be made," the gentleman said confidently, "If you'll look here I have a list of the players and their signatures giving me the right to sign in their stead. I am the team owner you see..."

    "No no no no no," the clerk cut him off, "Go get your team they need to be here."

    "Well, I could do that," started the gentleman with a twinkle in his eye, "but then I'd have to tell the evil little buggers that your the reason they've had to leave the bar. The bull centaurs certainly won't be happy..."

    "Wait, bull centaurs? What do you mean bull centaurs?" the clerk cut the man off again though now he seemed more concerned than annoyed.

    "Why yes it is a chaos dwarf team," replied the man, "I am the owner of a chaos dwarf team and I didn't want to drag them down here because they can often get belligerent around other living things. The bulls are of especially violent bloodlines, and then of course their is the hobgoblins. They've buried their blades in at least ten backs on the journey here. But I'll go get them, I'll just let them know that you insisted they come in person, I'm sure they'll understand..."

    "Whoa whoa no that's ok, their is no need for that, let me see that paper you were talking about. And your name is?"

    The man smiled deviously, "I am The Alderman, and my team is Zharrmin Ultra Soft"

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    Last edited: Oct 7, 2019
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  2. TravelScrabble

    TravelScrabble Well-Known Member

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    Love the team name and the blog so far.
     
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  3. Rocketdeath

    Rocketdeath Active Member

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    The Alderman and his team prepared to board the train towards Cathay, their divisional location.
    “Now I expect my hobgoblins to all make it to our destination in one piece,” the Alderman said to the goblin train conductor with his best intimidating glare as he dropped a few coins into the greedy little greenskin’s hand.

    “Aye no worryz dat traitorous scum, I mean to say hobgobbies, they'll probably killz each otherz before the boyz get em." The Alderman was unconvinced that his bribe would be enough to keep the greenskin train crew away from his hobgoblin players. Other greenskins really hate hobgoblins.

    "Karlaz, would you come here moment?" Karlaz Iceblood the chaos dwarf blocker comically hurried over on his fat little dwarf legs but The Alderman wasn't stupid enough to let Karlaz see his amusement. Karlaz was probably the scariest looking of the chaos dwarves on the team with his blue-tattooed face and perpetual scowl.

    "Karlaz, if any of our hobgoblins do not reach Cathay alive, or in any condition other than perfectly healthy, would you please kill this goblin for me?"

    "Grrr," Karlaz growled at the goblin in overalls before him, "I'll burn him alive in a cauldron of molten metal." With the goblin now visibly intimidated The Alderman was satisfied and they proceeded to board the train.

    Later on during the journey The Alderman heard a knock at the door to his luxury suite on the train and he proceeded to let the caller in. It was a young woman from Reikland, an aspiring blood bowl journalist with the Reikland Globe. He had been expecting her.

    "Hello Mr... I'm sorry what is your name sir all they gave me here was a title it just says Alderman I apologize."

    "I am known as The Alderman," he replied matter of factually.

    "Oh, ok," caught a little off guard the young journalist proceeded, "My name is Prissy von Mackensen its a pleasure to meet you sir. As you may know I am journeying to Cathay as well on assignment with the Reikland Globe to cover the Cathay division of the Big Crunch. I would really to get a more fuller picture of Zharrmin Ultra Soft for the fans back home."

    "We wont be having any fans in Reikland but all the same Miss Prissy, I'd be happy to oblige," he said with a bow.

    "Excellent thank you so much for your time Mr. Alderman," "The Alderman," he corrected. "My apologies sir"

    "So tell me," she started, "How does a human come to own a chaos dwarf blood bowl team?"

    "Well it all started when I was a boy, back in Sylvania..." The Alderman drifted way off topic and went into a story about his own origin instead.


    "But father," the young Alderman would often say, "Please let us leave this land. This can't be all there is to life." He grew up in a poor village in Sylvania, a land dominated by vampiric nobility. The humans lived in squalor, taxed in blood and goods, conditioned to believe that although their vampire lords did require the occasional villager as sacrifice to sustain them, that they still cared more about the locals than any foreign ruler did. The people were totally pacified, but not the little Alderman boy. He begged his father to leave for he could see the truth. He could see the danger.

    One night, while they were sleeping the door to their hovel was pushed open and several vampires entered. They proceeded to feed on The Aldermans family. His father, his mother, his sister. All lay dead when they sun came up the next and The Alderman himself was drained but alive. He vaguely remembered a sing song voice before he had passed out, "No leave the boy alive. We must always leave some alive or we will run out of cattle my children."

    After he recovered enough to travel, a teenage The Alderman left the village he was raised in and headed south towards Blackfire Pass. He had heard tell of a Borderland to the South where men lived free of the societal shackles found in the Empire, where any man of value could rise to prominence. He found eventually himself in the Border Princes where he made a living as a merchant slowly building wealth over the years and eventually becoming Treasure for a particularly violent Border Prince of Arabyan heritage who had taking a liking to the boy, respecting his intelligence and shrewdness. When he had amassed enough enough wealth, The Alderman bought the loyalty of the other courtiers to this unpopular and untrusted Prince. They cut him down and tossed his body over the village walls killing him and just like that, the young Sylvanian had become ruler of a Princedom in the Confederacy and he took the title of Alderman as opposed to Prince for he hated the idea of nobility.

    The Alderman finished up his story. The journalist looked bewildered, "You were a Border Prince? That's amazing sir but I was wondering more about your team. I need to build a profile of them for the paper. What can you tell me about them?"

    "Oh that's all the time we have for today miss, I apologize. I really must meet with my players and talk strategy and prepare. There is much to do, busy, busy. We shall meet another time and I will tell you so much more about the team."

    "Well I hope so because I really don't have anything here about Zharrmin Ultra Soft its all about you.." she protested.

    "Yes yes your welcome dear girl," said The Alderman and he shooed her out of his suite.
     
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  4. Rocketdeath

    Rocketdeath Active Member

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    Despite team owner The Alderman’s failure to provide any useful information for Prissy von Mackensen’s profile article on Zharrmin Ultra Soft, the young journalist was able to dig up some information on the players as follows:

    The team: Zharrmin Ultra Soft
    A chaos dwarf team that began as enterprising chorf raiders. After successfully and profitably fighting the dwarves of Gunbad and the Bloody Spear Night Goblins these raiders from the Dark Lands decided to push ever further out in search of treasure and slaves. This led them to cross the Worlds Edge Mountains via Mad Dog Pass and enter into the lands of the Border Prince Confederacy. There they devastated several principalities before coming across the lands of team owner The Alderman who convinced them that it would be even more profitable and glorious to lay down their arms and form a blood bowl team.

    The owner: The Alderman
    The man known only as The Alderman originally hailed from Sylvania. After his entire family was killed and fed upon and killed by their vampire lords he left Sylvania and the Empire entirely taking with him only a deep seated hatred for vampires. He traveled to the Border Princes and became a very successful merchant eventually buying the loyalty of some influential courtiers and pulling a classic coup becoming a Prince himself. When the chaos dwarves arrived at the walls of his capital village he convinced them to form a blood bowl team with tales of wealth and glory for Hashut, their bull God. Abdicating the “principality” to his son he set off with the new team to sign up for the Big Crunch 2.

    The players:

    The bull centaurs:

    Tornado Papabull

    Tornado Papabull is a very old bull centaur. He is so old that his skin has begun to change to the consistency of metal making him extra resistant to normal wounds. Born to a normal chaos dwarf female, he galloped out of her womb at birth, killing her. As a young bull centaur he was soo violent that the Chaos Dwarf Sorcerers used his blood to create more bull centaur to fill their ranks, valuing his longevity and bloodthirsty aspect. One of those sorcerously created offspring named F5 is the current champion of the Zharr-Nagrund Rodeo, a sport where slaves try to survive for 8 seconds in a small arena with weapon wielding bull centaur.

    Bushwacker
    Bushwacker is much younger than Tornado Papabull and has a violent fiery attitude as well with a burning red beard to match it. He participated in the Zharr-Nagrund Rodeo also and is considered one of the modern greats though he retired early, believing that he could wreak more havoc abroad raising foreign. Blood bowl is merely the next natural progression on his journey of terror and bloodshed in Hashut’s name. Here he gets the best of the both worlds. He can be a sporting champion and also kill and maim creatures belonging to all the primary species of the warhammer world.

    The chaos dwarf blockers:

    Khavrokh Bladebeard
    The starting 5 chaos dwarf blockers on Zharrmin Ultra Soft were all among the raiders that approached the walls of the Alderman’s Principality that fateful day. They belong to a sect of warriors that have no magical ability yet respect the elemental forces and power of the world and believe that if they take on the aspects of those elemental forces then combined they will be an unstoppable force. Khavrokh Bladebeard has taken on the aspect of metal. He adorns his beard with razor sharp wicked edged steel forged in the dark smithies of Zharr-Nagrund. With every kill of a significant opponent he adds another beard to his beard and that beard alone is incredibly dangerous as it flails about in the heat of battle. The referees have already ruled that it is not considered a secret weapon, much to the dismay of the other teams and coaches in Cathay’s division.

    Braydaakh Skytooth
    Braydaakh Skytooth is the youngest of the warriors and has taken on the aspect of air. He focuses on speed and quickness as much as any chaos dwarf can has a great respect for the elder bull centaur Tornado. Skytooth dreams of someday breeding Manticores and hopes to one day win enough money playing blood bowl to open a chaos dwarf monster factory.

    Morzokh Stonecrusher
    Morzokh Stonecrusher is the blocker that’s taken the ideals of the strength and resilience of stone. In battle he is always the first into the fray will likely act the same on the blood bowl pitch attempting to hold the center and help punch holes through the oppositions formations. He can crush stone with his thick dwarven skull and his fists are like mini boulders as they devastate enemy faces. This dwarf is truly the essence of the chaos dwarven stubbornness, violence, and resilience.

    Karlaz Iceblood
    Karlaz has taken a truly chaotic view on the ideals of water taking on the qualities, and indeed also even the vision, of ice. He has tattooed his face blue to give himself an even more cold and icy demeanor and the image is truly sinister, especially when combined with his ruthless glare and unnerving sneer. Karlaz is probably the scariest of the bunch to be alone in a room with and wouldn’t think twice about committing the most violent and gruesome torturous murders imaginable, acts that would put the dark elves to shame. This one will be a player to watch, and watch out for.

    Bane Fireeyes
    Babe Fireeyes is the dwarf that has chosen to represent the element of fire. If their was one element that represents the chaos dwarves the best it would be fire hands down. In the dwarven tongue the chaos dwarves are known as the Dawi-Zharr which means literally, Fire Dwarves. Bane has mutated red eyes so that he literally sees everything in red. Perpetually angry the red colored world is one of destruction, flames, and mayhem. That is what he sees, and so that is how he acts. Anger, Destruction, Mayhem, and Fire. He delights in the traditional sacrifice of slaves via tossing into the great forges.

    The hobgoblins

    Goldie

    Kackle

    Bloodgobbla

    Wizen

    Not much distinguishes these hobgoblins from one another as far as a Reikland eye can tell. Sure they all look a bit different from each other. All are shining examples of the hobgoblin slave race. They are evil cruel backstabbing greenskins. They would be as tall as humans if not for their posture but otherwise are much like other goblin species. Forever hated by all other greenskin subspecies. Hundreds of years ago when the greenskins revolted against the chaos dwarf empire they would have succeeded in overthrowing them were it not for an untimely betrayal on the part of the hobgoblins. They are so accustomed to backstabbing that they have evolved bony plates on their backs for protection. These creatures serve an important role for chaos dwarf teams but they often don’t survive very long because the teams don’t typically bother to outfit them with armor. We’ll see if any of these despicable creatures will be an exception to this rule and stand out as an individual against the odds.
     
    Last edited: Oct 19, 2019
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  5. Rocketdeath

    Rocketdeath Active Member

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    Toot! Toot! The train arrived at its destination, Cathay!

    The team traveled through the city and saw all sorts of foreign things. Such a strange land. Statues of jade and people with funny straw hats were all around. They gave wary mistrustful looks at the chaos dwarves. No doubt they had heard stories of their people being captured by the steppe tribes of Hobgobla Khan and sold into slavery in the Dark Lands. The Dawi-Zharr glared back and growled and barked to scare the Cathayan people that came too close.

    A Cathayan messenger ran up to the team. "Follow me, I take you to the games," he said. And so they followed.

    They had gathered in front of a stage with all the other teams here to compete present as well. The Alderman took stock of the competition. There were a couple of orc teams, one wearing green uniforms and one sporting red. A pair of teams from Kislev had made the journey as well. One of the Kislevian teams appeared to be veterans. They were calm, focused, and looked ready to go. The other Kislev squad were as wide-eyed as the rest and clearly rookies. Two teams representing the dead races were off to one side gathered near each other, the first consisted of the hated vampires with their poor human thralls looking drained and out of it, and the other a more classic undead team with wights, ghouls, mummies, and zombie lineman. Also here, it seems a dark elf team had made the journey from Naggaroth to compete on the other side of the world. A nurgle team had arrived from the Chaos Wastes to the North, and finally the chaos dwarf's most hated adversaries were here as well, the dwarfs.

    The bull centaurs and the chaos dwarfs were seething with anger at seeing that squad. "Dwarves!" shouted Bushwacker the bull centaur.

    "The betrayer Dwarfs!" said Khavrokh Bladebeard, "Those who masquerade as a noble race, yet who had abandoned the Dawi-Zharr, their ancient kin, to the forces of Chaos, and now they judge us for the changes wreaked upon us by chaos due to THEIR betrayal!"

    "I'm going ta kill em all then!" shouted Morzokh Stonecrusher.

    "Save it for the pitch fellas," said The Alderman, "You have free reign to kill and maim as you please AFTER the referee blows the whistle."

    "And why is it that we are listening to you? You are not our Lord," said Stonecrusher.

    "Because I'm the one that's gonna make us all rich and powerful and when we're done, you can sacrifice all the dwarves you want in the cauldrons of Zharr Nagrund," he replied.

    A richly dressed man surrounded by retainers was on the stage and he addressed the teams in Cathayan with translators working for the different teams.

    "Welcome to Cathay!"
    cheering and stamping erupted from the teams and the crowds gathered around the perimeter.

    "You are all here to compete in the Cathay blood bowl league which as you know, is a tier 4 division of the Big Crunch 2. In years past we have held the games within the city limits. As much as we love blood bowl here, the teams in the past and the fans that came with them have caused much havoc and destruction outside the pitch within the bounds of our great city. Due to past transgressions, this year we have a sponsor that will be holding the games out side of the city limits on the edge of the Great Bastion itself. This year, the games will be held by the Carnival of Dirty Counts!"

    The teams and the crowd listened to the rest of the Cathayan league representatives welcome speech and the ceremonious introductions of the teams and then were led along a road outside the city limits towards the towering Great Bastion, a hundreds foot high wall that stretched as far as the eye could see in both directions. They could hear it before they could see it. Ringing bells, tooting horns, a carnival on the horizon. When they arrived, they saw that it was indeed a carnival. However, it did not feel like a place of joy and fun, but instead it had a more sinister aspect to it. The Alderman could not place what it was that felt so off but it was almost familiar in a way. A goofy looking man who identified himself as Count Regor, was the proprietor here. He briefly welcomed the teams to this Tzeentchanesque carnival in a singsong voice that spoke in riddles before dancing off into a big red and white striped tent.

    Later on, they received the randomly generated schedule. The week 1 matchup vs. Dwarfs Dominate, the dwarf team... obviously.

    Week 1. Battle of the Beards
    BBTactics Dwarfs Dominate vs Zharrmin Ultra Soft

    Zharrmin Ultra Soft win the coin toss and select to receive.

    First Half: They lineup heavy on the line, ready to rumble with their ancient enemies and mostly off to the left side. The strategy is clearly to try and bull rush down one side of the pitch if possible. Meanwhile Dwarfs Dominate deployed in a shallow column formation indicating to The Alderman their intention to fight a delaying attrition battle all the way to the end zone.

    Before the kickoff, this crazy carnival threw in a twist and a blizzard materialized out of thin air, pouring snow down and freezing the pitch over almost instantly making it quite slippery.

    The kickoff was deep and the hobgoblin Kackle had to fall back into his own endzone to retrieve it while the bearded teams began slugging it out for position.

    It went pretty much as expected for the first quarter of the game with both teams trading blows, neither side getting the upper hand until about halfway through the first half, the chaos dwarfs made a mistake. Kackle jumped too early getting ahead of his blockers and exposing his position. He must have known it was risky but his bull centaur and a dwarf on its back gave him a false sense of security while an ornery Trollslayer went into a dauntless frenzy knocking that bull centaur off to the side and clearing a path for a longbeard to blitz on the ballcarrier, which he did, successfully.

    The ball rolled out of bounds and the fans tossed it back into midfield.

    This was all too much for Morzokh Stonecrusher to handle, not crushing the current object of his hatred. He balled up his fist and let loose on a Dwarf Runner named Urlak, punching him in the balls so hard he'll be out for the rest of this game and the next as well.

    The rest of the half was a scramble, as much as dwarfs can scramble. Lots of pushing and shoving, powing and skulling, a couple Hobgoblins were removed one for the game and one knocked out, then the other Dwarf runner was knocked out, and the half ended with the Longbeard bringing it in for a score. The chaos dwarf defense fell just shy of preventing the counterattack score.

    2nd Half:
    The new half begins with the dwarfs setting up heavy on the line this time and the chaos dwarves more cautious. holding the bull centaurs back in reserve, one shallow and the other a deep safety. Both teams woke up their respective knocked out players, slapped their helmets back on and directed them back out onto the pitch. Each team also has one player injured for the game, Zharrmin Ultra Soft a hobgoblin, and Dwarfs Dominate that dwarf runner keeled over with the ballsack injury.

    The remaining dwarf runner, Araor, received the ball and took a similar offensive strategy to the chaos dwarves, trying to push down the left side of the pitch behind his offensive line. This quickly, possibly too quickly, turned out to be a counter play. Araor cut back across his line to try and reverse the pitch though his line was maybe a bit too committed to follow him and the chaos dwarves had a few too many people free to defend against this move. The bull centaur, Bushwacker, helped as well by knocking out a longbeard with a healthy kick.

    Next, Tornado Papabull, the other centaur barely dodged away from a marking dwarf blocker to try and lay a hit on Araor, he succeeded only in a glancing blow that pushed him back but more importantly cutoff the runner's run. The next turn, Tornado was pushed off by a Trollslayer, and Araor tried to run for it again. He didn't quite have the legs to finish the job though and Morzokh Stonecrusher went into a fit of rage again seeing this Dwarf so close to scoring. With his teammates clearing a path, he charged at the remaining runner, and drop kicked him in the leg. The force of this vicious attack snapped the dwarf runner's leg like a twig, sending him off into the injury box and he also will be out next game to heal.

    The hobgoblin Bloodgobbla scooped up the ball and the chaos dwarves tried to mount an offense with a lot of pitch in front of them, limited time, and in the midst of a magical blizzard. They made steady progress but their just was so little time. In the final moments of the match, Bloodgobbla had made it into the opposing half unchallenged with Tornado Papabull just barely in rang of a score. Bloodgobbla went for the quick pass but his frozen hands bobbled the football and the game ended in humiliating defeat.

    0 - 1 loss, Dwarfs Dominate wins
     
    Last edited: Nov 3, 2019
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  6. Rocketdeath

    Rocketdeath Active Member

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    Zharrmin Ultra Soft campsite
    The day after the loss to Dwarfs Dominate

    The players were gathered around a campfire, roasting a partridge as they listened to their coach.

    "So we lost our first match. Not only did we lose but we lost to the dwarfs. Obviously that didn't go as planned. We all made mistakes, especially in that first half but we can't let it get us down. I have seen you in action on the battlefield. You are ruthless! You take what you want! You take no... well actually you take many prisoners! This team has what it takes to be great! I know this. I have been watching blood bowl for years in the Confederacy of the Border Princes. I know a lot about the game but this is my first foray into coaching in a while, and this is your first foray into playing. We lost our first game but their were positives. Morzokh Stonecrusher, for example, you were ruthless the way you mangled those Dwarfen Runners was beautiful to see. Keep it up next game. Tornado and Bushwacker, you guys did really well with your blitz attacks keeping the pressure on. Shake off this defeat because we are only going to get better from hear. The other teams may underestimate us as a team, they may underestimate me as a coach, but their will be a reckoning coming for our enemies!"

    "Arrggh Ayye Yaa!" the players cheered, amped up from their coach's post defeat speech.

    "Eat up boys, you're going to need your energy for we are not going to sit on our laurels this week. You already know how to fight! You already know how to kill! And to instill fear into your enemies! So this week we are going to practice our bloodbowl skills and come up with a gameplan. We can not drop another game. We need a victory here. Our next opponent is of a race you are familiar with dominating in the Dark Lands. Orcs."

    Week 2. Holding back the Green Tide
    Orcabeth vs Zharrmin Ultra Soft

    Orcabeth wins the coin toss and chooses to kick the ball first.

    First Half:
    Both teams are in their rookie seasons and full of fresh players. Orcabeth played against the Cathay division's other orc team in match week 1 which turned out to be a grindy slugfest that resulted in a 1-1 draw and one of Orcabeth's 4 big black orcs being laid up and unable to participate in this match. A merc orc lineman named Rotnail suited up for the team instead. The orcs lined up three orc linemen on the line of scrimmage with 2 successive layers of players behind them. The chaos dwarfs set up heavy on the line and with a slight left side shift so they can hopefully punch their way down the left side but still have room to shift back if need be.

    The ball is kicked and the orcs rush in fast with a kickoff blitz attempt. A couple of orcs move up marking players while one orc blitzer named Exterminator knocks over the right wing chorf blocker, Skytooth, and moves in behind the line of scrimmage.

    And now its our turn. Three orcs are knocked to the ground as the chaos dwarfs savagely retaliate. The hobgoblin, Kackle, scoops up the ball and moves into a cage center field behind the line, while the chaos dwarf Bane Fireeyes takes a mighty swing! Crack! He smashes the black orc, Destroyer, standing in front of him who goes down hard and appears to be dead to all. The apothecary rushes out and removes the player, just barely managing to save his life however that black orc will be hobbled from here on out with a ruined ankle and will be even slower than he was before.

    The orcs try to recover from the early loss of their black orc, which they are now missing 2 of taking a considerable amount of the teams strength out of play for this game, and get back into defensive positions.

    The chaos dwarfs of Zharrmin Ultra Soft begin their methodical advance shifting the cage to the left side as planned and bringing the pain to their opponents. Morzokh Stonecrusher, the 2 casualty violent standout player from week 1 continues his disregard for opponent armor, stunning Rotnail, the merc orc lineman.

    The orcs caught off guard from the early assault begin to recover. A black orc knocks Morzokh on his back and the blitzers show their speed creating an opening and managing to double mark Kackle, the ballcarrier.

    Kackle retreated back into a protected cage and the two teams began to slug it out. After fully committing to defending the left side and perhaps underestimating the speed of the hobgoblins and bull centaurs, the chaos dwarf team were able to switch the pitch to the right and set up a potential run. Meanwhile, Bushwacker, one of the bull centaurs has been trapped on the ground for several turns after a stun and a couple of unsuccessful foul attempts against him. The orcs appear to be banking on removing the bull instead of falling to the right to protect against the run, a gamble that could pay off if they manage to remove the bull and still stop the touchdown.

    The chaos dwarf offensive advances quickly down the right side blocking off against any potential effort to stop the run. Meanwhile several players attempt to mark the orcs encircling Bushwacker, Bushwacker takes another hit and a follow up foul but his armor holds and an orc lineman, Invalidator is sent off giving the chaos dwarfs a 2 player advantage.

    Kackle brings the ball to the border of the opposing end zone and a touchdown is all but certain. An orc trips attempting to full speed run back and mount some sort of defense but falls, and Kackle the hobgoblin runs it in for a touchdown! 1 - 0

    Kickoff! Tornado gives the ball a true bull kick and sends it deep, meanwhile, the Carnival mages amp up the sunlight to a blinding level. The passing game will be difficult.

    The orcs need to move the ball quick though if they hope to have chance of scoring this half. One blitzer falls back to pick it up and handoff to another blitzer who moves up to pass it to another blitzer but the sunlight makes this impossible and he fumbles it. Then Tornado blitzs the orcs only player in the backfield, Rotnail, making a last minute touchdown impossible.

    2nd Half:
    Tornado gave the ball another deep kick, this time dropping it in the orcs own endzone, beautiful. The sun drifted back behind the clouds and the weather is nice again for the 2nd half.

    The orc blitzer, Grinder scooped up the ball and the chaos dwarves resolved to play a column defense to hold the orcs back and make them fight for every inch. This was the gameplan they practiced. If the orcs are going to score, they'll have to earn it.

    This defensive strategy worked to perfection, the entire 3rd quarter of the game was spent at around the line of scrimmage with the chaos dwarfs not giving an inch. First the orcs went to their left side, then they tried the right, but Zharrmin Ultra Soft held firm not allowing them to punch through.

    The orcs were running out of time and had to do something. They tried to switch the pitch back to the left again and Grinder slipped up going for that extra burst of speed falling and dropping the ball. This spelled doom for the orcs as the players of Zharrmin Ultra Soft smelled blood in the water and swarmed. They punched through to the ball before the orcs could recover and the hobgoblins picked it up and worked in concert to get it back into a protected cage.

    The violent Morzokh Stonecrusher, before the game ended took revenge on the orc lineman Liquidator for the earlier fouls viciously bonking him on the head and knocking him out cold. The hobgoblin Wizen, finding a hole ran into the opposing backfield effectively putting this game out of reach and securing the victory.

    1 - 0 victory, Zharrmin Ultra Soft win!
     
    Last edited: Nov 10, 2019
  7. Rocketdeath

    Rocketdeath Active Member

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    At a Cathayan Opium Den
    After the victory

    The dwarfs slammed their beers on the counter in a drumming rhythm as they sang a song, "Hey Hey Hey Huzzah! Hey hey hey Huzzah! Down with the greenskins, down with them all Huzzah!"

    The quiet sedate Cathayan patrons looked irritated at this foreign intrusion as they toked away on the hookahs.

    "Great job out there fellas. Great win! That's how you play blood bowl. The defense was fantastic! The offense was unstoppable! This is the beginning of our rise! Drink up! Smoke! Enjoy yourselves. I'll even see if I can find you some local entertainment and then tomorrow, we meet on the practice field and we get back to work."

    "Yaaa!" They cheered.

    The next morning

    The players were gathered around the coach on the practice pitch at the outskirts of the carnival, surprisingly looking not much worse for the wear after the nights celebration. That dwarven constitution came in handy.

    "Ok fellas, our opponent this week is called Sucky Bloat. They are the experienced Kislev team. This is going to be a tough one and they are going to play unlike either of the teams that we have played thus far. So far it has been bash vs bash, blow for blow and in this league, we can go blow for blow with anyone. But these circus freaks will be running faster than us and leaping over us and doing all sorts of nonsense. We can't play their game, we need to play our game. Tie them down and beat them into submission!"

    They spent most of the week practicing plays where they surround opposing dummies and attack them without worrying too much about the ball. Coach The Alderman watched approvingly as his assembled team of evil killers ripped the training dummies to shreds.

    Week 3. Bringing down the Circus
    Sucky Bloat vs Zharrmin Ultra Soft

    Luckily for the chaos dwarves, the bloated kislevians, while still bloated, were missing 2 of their most key players due to injuries for this match. The stat freak catcher AND their mighty violent blitzer. Even still, the bloat was real, with Zharrmin Ultra Soft able to hire a mercenary chaos dwarf blocker to help guard the line, a wizard for just in case situations, bribe the referee in the event of a sendoff, and hire a bloodweiser babe to help motivate knocked out players back onto the pitch.

    Sucky Bloat wins the coin toss and chooses to receive.

    First Half:

    The kislevians line up strong on the line of scrimmage with their historically impressive Bear Nalle in the center. Likely they are looking to cause some early damage here in the hopes that a numbers advantage will allow them to overcome their bashing deficit. The red-headed bull centaur Bushwacker, the team's go to kicker in the beginnings of their career here, gave the ball a shallow kick into the opposing side of the field. The Alderman's "brilliant coaching" is likely to play part in this half possibly allowing the chaos dwarves to overcome a potential mistake.

    Cher Pele, Sucky Bloat sure handed catcher, received the ball on the kickoff and moved into a center of the pitch cage while the kislevians led by Nalle the Bear punched down the chaos dwarf line and sent players scrambling deep into the chorf half as potential receivers, likely looking for an early score.

    One of those receivers, Bears Reik, a kislev lineman wrestler, was targeted by Zharrmin Ultra Soft. He was pushed by one player, knocked down by another, and then stomped on by Kackle the hobgoblin and knocked out. He had to be carried off the field. Supa, Sucky Bloat's owner, was seen raging at the referee for not ejecting Kackle for that illegal foul. Zharrmin Ultra Soft's bribe paid off apparently because the referee was looking right at the foul and did nothing. Further actions like that however will likely not be ignored by the goblin referee as continued favoritism could lead to him being killed by the Kislevian fans... and he knows it.

    After that upsetting play for the kislevians, Ilgoth Frogger, a kislev blitzer tried to get some measure of vengeance by attacking a different hobgoblin but they both ended up going down in a heap and the chaos dwarves pressed their advantage.

    Chaos dwarf, Braadakh Skytooth blitzed the ballcarrier and dropped him violently stunning the player. Zharrmin Ultra Soft players proceeded then to surround and beat the kislevians into submission, following their gameplan to perfection. Sucky Bloat did somewhat recover after this early debacle. Catcher Per Se recovered the ball and some of the players fell back to protect him as they set for a run down the left side of the pitch.

    They were fighting an uphill battle though as the chaos dwarves did not let up with the violence. The very next minute chaos dwarf pushed a lineman into the crowd and he was stomped into a damn near coma, and the guard lineman Zuip Japanner was removed to the injury box with a serious concussion. The rest of Zharrmin Ultra Soft collapsed onto the run keeping the pressure on the lighter armored kislevians at a maximum. They were unable to get anything going due to the constant pressure of being marked beaten and harrassed and with a 2 player disadvantage. This was later increased to a 3 player disadvantage as blitzer Ilgoth Frogger was knocked out and carried off the pitch. After that, a 4 player disadvantage when blitzer Femur Frogger tangled with the hobgoblin Goldie (he has a gold noseguard). Both players went down but Femur Frogger had his skull fractured and removed from the game.

    Finally, the chaos dwarves caught up with the speedy ballcarrier Per Se who had been chased all the way into his own half near his teams endzone. The bull centaur Bushwacker was able to get the fallen ball and run it in for the first touchdown of his career. 1 - 0 Zharrmin Ultra Soft

    2nd Half:
    The 2nd half started with Sucky Bloat down only 1 player, as one of their knockouts returned to the pitch and they brought in a couple of their reserve players.

    Per Se kicked the ball very high and very shallow. Perhaps he didnt quite connect right on the kick. Bushwacker tried to receive it but the ball ended up in Sucky Bloats own half of the field for a touchback, and Bushwacker was given the ball.

    The bull centaur caged up in the middle of the pitch and Zharrmin Ultra Soft began the 2nd half with more of the same, an injury to a Bloat lineman, Au Vitu. That 1 player disadvantage immediately became 2 with the stronger and better armored chorf team in possession of the ball in a solid cage and Sucky Bloat faced with a very difficult situation. This game was just not going their way.

    The cage moved down the left center of the field and their was little that Sucky Bloat could do to stop them. However, Zharrmin Ultra Soft made their first real mistake. They kept the cage too tight. Through some selective pushing, the kislev team was able to creat just enough of an opening for their Bear Nalle to lay a hit on he centaur ballcarrier and he did not waste it, knocking Bushwacker down and the ball fell free. The catcher Per Se then used his circus skills to leap over the chaos dwarf cage and pick up the ball dodge free and try to pass it over their heads to a teammate. There was then a moment of collective silence from both teams as Per Se attempted his game changing pass. If the pass succeeded then they kislev team had an open field to run into the end zone and the speed to accomplish it guaranteed. If it failed, the ball, and Per Se, would be alone surrounded by Zharrmin Ultra Soft players pinned up against the sideline and a recovery would make it near impossible for Sucky Bloat to win this game.

    Per Se cocked his arm back to toss but realized the pass would probably be inaccurate, so he pump-faked to get a better read and try again. The pass was too important to fail. On the pump fake he lost his grip on the ball and bobbled it on the 2nd attempt to throw. The ball dropped at his feet. All hope Sucky Bloat had for a comeback was out the window.

    Per Se was then pushed off the pitch into the crowd, the ball was recovered by the frequent hobgoblin ballcarrier Kackle, and caged.

    The caged steadily progressed up the pitch. Kislev players repeatedly attempted to leap into the cage and mark or hit the ballcarrier but eevry attempt led to them on the ground and the chaos dwarf players continued to punch their way downfield. Kackle handed the ball back off to Bushwacker and the bull centaur finished up the game by running it in for his 2nd touchdown.

    2 - 0 Zharrmin Ultra Soft!

    There was still some time left in the game so the chaos dwarfs were required to kick the ball back off to Sucky Bloat who start this drive with a 2 players less than the opposition but are down by 2 scores now with little time left remaining and the result is essentially a forgone conclusion.

    Sucky Bloat had catcher Cher Pele back to recieve and essentially quarterback the final drive. He sent a few players deep to receive a potential pass and score play. Zharrmin Ultra Soft targeted these receivers however to prevent this and the game ended with a blitzer tripping and falling into the end zone while trying to get open. A very dominant and smothering performance for Zharrmin Ultra Soft led to their 2nd win of the season, and just unfortunately a bad matchup for Sucky Bloat and being down their key players was too much to overcome.

    2 - 0 victory, Zharrmin Ultra Soft win!
     
    Last edited: Nov 10, 2019
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  8. Supa

    Supa Active Member

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    Good read! Was a painful game to play, got some of the worst dice in a long time on my turn 2. It didn't get better, but I also shat my pants as a coach that game, so can't blame the dice too much really. :p Well deserved victory!
     
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  9. Rocketdeath

    Rocketdeath Active Member

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    Back at the Cathayan Opium Den
    After the victory against Sucky Bloat

    Again the fire dwarf team made a ruckus in the normally quiet drug den. "Hey, hey, hey Huzzah! Hey hey hey Huzzah! The Ice Queen's circus was stopped in their tracks, we bashed their heads, held them down, and trampled on their backs, Huzzah!"

    The proprietor approached the drunken celebrating team, "Excuse me, uh good sirs," he started in Cathayan.

    "Stop! We don't speak your gibbering nonsense language Cathayan," replied Morzokh Stonecrusher in the chorf dialect of khazalid.

    "erm," The Cathayan opium den proprietor looked frustrated as he fumbled for the words, "Stop. Too loud." he managed to get out.

    Morzokh Stonecrusher pulled out what he considered to be a hatchet although it resembled just a smaller version of a double sided battleaxe and buried it's black metal blade in the Cathayan's skull. He then soaked his fingers in the blood from his hatchet axe, smeared it down his face, and roared.

    The other people in the establishment hurriedly exited as the rest of the team cheered and The Alderman shook his head disapprovingly.

    "Was that necessary Stonecrusher? Now we can't come back here after we win next week. And we WILL win next week. Gather round, I have a story to tell," The Alderman, former Border Prince coach of Zharrmin Ultra Soft proceeded to tell the team about his history before life in the Border Princes. He told them about how he was raised in the dreary land of Sylvania and the oppression and fear the people there lived with under the Vampire lords. He told them about how his family was murdered and fed upon by a vampire. And then he told them about their next opponent, Pukki Party, a vampire team.

    At the end of his long sad tale, their was a brief moment of silence, and then the entire team broke out in laughter. The Alderman was taken aback, his sad upbringing was not funny?

    "These vampire counts sound like they know what they are doing. The people serve them, and allow themselves to be fed upon, and do not fight back? Then they deserve to die Alderman. Your family deserved to die that day, the vampires had every right to feed upon them as the cattle they were. What is the point of this story, was it supposed to make us feel bad for you? To rile us up in anger about how you and your family were treated? We feel no sympathy for your family Alderman or for any of the human resources that the vampires in Sylvania manage. Humans as a whole do not deserve to be free they are no better than animals and only a select few will ever rise above that status. Do not try to manipulate us for we feel no pity for you or rage at the way your people live. You did not die that day because you were stronger than the other pitiful slaves in your homeland. We are not your friends Alderman, this is an alliance of convenience. You teach us how to play blood bowl, you get us into the right competitions and provide for us. You pay us well and spread our fame, and we will play for you. Not because we like you, because this life is better than trudging for miles through the muck of distant lands, fighting and pillaging and taking slaves back to Zharr-Nagrund only for the Sorcerer Lords to enrich themselves and disrespect us. This is better. We will destroy those vampires, not for you, but for OUR benefit!" Karlaz Iceblood got up to leave and the rest of the team followed. Morzokh Stonecrusher paused to bark in The Alderman's face as he passed by.

    The Alderman was left alone in the opium den with the bloodied corpse of the proprietor at his feet in a pool of blood, and feeling a mixture of shock, anger, and determination to continue on because heartless killers is exactly what he needs to be successful in blood bowl.

    Week 4. Hatred and Memories
    Zharrmin Ultra Soft vs Pukki Party

    The vampire team Pukki Party, led by coach Tusak, came into week 4 with a record of 0 wins 2 draws and 1 loss. Not a stellar start to their career but they did pick up a third vampire before the match which greatly increases their odds of winning. After the opening loss, with 2 straight victories, the chaos dwarfs are riding high and determined to continue their success and keep climbing in the leagues rankings. They also hired a mercenary chaos dwarf blocker for this one game as well since it worked so well last week.

    Zharrmin Ultra Soft win the toss and choose to receive.

    First Half:
    They have a grim professional determination about them as they line up for the kickoff. With 3 thralls on the line of scrimmage, the chaos dwarfs lineup strong with the hobgoblin, Kackle, back to recieve the kick. Its a very high kick and Kackle has time to get under it though he drops it at first.

    Karlaz Iceblood hits and stuns a human thrall on the line and Kackle scoops up the ball moving forward into a cage.

    The vampires position themselves in the way to try and block the coming onslaught.

    Another thrall stunned and the cage creeps forward. Then Duke El Puki, working up an appetite after trying to attack a bull centaur, decided he was thirsty and he picked up the stunned thrall and drank deep, knocking the poor guy out. Another Pukki Party vampire, Sir Teme the Goat, which i assume stands for Greatest of all Thralldrinkers, also got a bit thirsty after throwing a hypnotic gaze at a chaos dwarf, and drank another thrall into the KO box.

    Down two players now due to thirsty vampires early in the first half, the way forward seems not too bad for the chaos dwarfs and their overabundance of block and heavy armor. Tornado Papabull, the centaur stunned another thrall as Zharrmin Ultra Soft pushed some guys around creating a run lane down the left side of the pitch.

    The vampires fell back to guard against the run led by their team captain Duke El Puki as managed to use that vampire strength and speed to get back and bash bull centaur, Tornado, over the head, knocking him over and stunning him. Sir Teme the Goat moved back to try and get back into range to defend the run, but apparently his thirst was not slaked on the last thrall. He lifted up the recently stunned thrall and drank deep yet again, send yet another thrall into the KO box. The vampires of Pukki Party are taking out their own players faster than the chaos dwarves have a chance to get at them. A thrall tried to dodge away from Braydaakh Skytooth and was tripped falling on his face, and the third vampire turn ended with them down 3 players and not quite in the way of the hobgoblin's run toward the end zone.

    The dawi-zharr continue their steady advance up the left side of the pitch protecting the hobgoblin Kackle well. Bull centaur, Bushwacker, made a move at Duke El Puki. He pushed him back into the red-eyed chaos dwarf blacker, Bane Fireeyes, who proceeded to drop him on the ground stunning him and another thrall was knocked senseless, stunned and slow to get up.

    Sir Teme the Goat tried to protect his fellow vampire Puki, who was half surrounded stunned on the ground, by attacking Bane Fireeyes. He managed to knock him over away from the Duke but Teme's endless thirst was still not quenched. He took a bite out of another thrall and left it face down on the turf, needing time to recover. One of Pukki Party's human thralls finally did something other than being stunned as Kosovon Harka Sheriffi managed to stun a chaos dwarf, impressively, however this was well away from the action and the vampires appeared to be losing hope for stopping the success of the chaos dwarf drive. The newly acquired third vampire, Count Von Kotkanpoika made an effort to get in on the action by blitzing Bloodgobbla, the hobgoblin at the forefront of the attack, but they both went down in a tangle of limbs.

    The chaos dwarf cage continued its relentless advance up the pitch, with another thrall going down stunned and the only vampire on its feet being knocked down and surrounded.

    Count Von Kotkanpoika, with the aid of a timely hypnotic gaze to distract one of the bull centaurs and an assist from a friendly thrall, was able to knock over the bull centaur on the corner of the cage and move up to mark the ballcarrier, penetrating the chorf cage for the first time though in position for a dangerous counterpunch. Sir Teme the Goat tried to dodge away from the many Ultra Soft bodies but was tackled by Morzokh Stonecrusher.

    Khavrokh Bladebeard, a chaos dwarf cage participant threw a block on Count Von Kotkanpoika clearing the danger awy from the ballcarrier and the cage advanced a little. A touchdown was within range but they seemed content to burn some clock for the moment, likely trying to take this game to halftime.

    This decision came back to bite a moment later as human thrall, Miklu, threw a nasty hit on the hobgoblin, Bloodgobbla, killing him dead! The first real casualty of any significance to this hardy chaos dwarf team came against their coaches most hated adversary, the vampires. Coach The Alderman went ballistic after this running up and down the sidelines screaming at his players to "kill those rotten bloodsuckers, and their little thralls too."

    Braadakh Skytooth gets the message and responds with a solid hit on the thrall Perpa, injuring him and taking him out of the game. Several other hits and stuns followed as the two teams continued to slug it out at the border of the endzone, before Kackle ran it in for a touchdown to end the half.

    1 - 0 Zharrmin Ultra Soft
     
  10. Rocketdeath

    Rocketdeath Active Member

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    2nd Half:
    The vampires remain at full strength at the start of the next half. All 3 KO'd players were woken up and thrown back into the game and even if they werent, Pukki Party, anticipating the thirst of their vampires, had 4 replacement thralls ready to go. They line up for the kickoff with rookie vampire Count Von Kotkanpoika back to receive with a thrall backing him up, or is the thrall just there for food?

    Count Von Kotkanpoika failed to pick up the ball, and the players of Zharrmin Ultra Soft, smelling blood on the pitch move forward into an aggressive in your face push up against the opposing team and win the battle in the trenches positioning strategy. Everyone based up with Kackle back as the safety.

    This strategy failed horribly here as the Vampires use their speed and strength to punch right through the center of the thin line, and everyone was based up so it put Ultra Soft in a position that was now difficult to fall back and reestablish a defense. Duke El Puki carried the ball through the center past my line and several players followed him through to block for him. Count Von Kotkanpoika was one of those blockers, along with a thrall who he so callously, yet again, fed upon, this time injuring the poor bastard and he was carried off on a stretcher. Apparently the young vampire hasn't yet learned the feeding restraint that the others have learned.. slightly learned.

    A scramble to get back and protect and a mistake made. The hobgoblin wizen trying to run extra far to get in front of the cage fell down and the vampires had free reign to advance deep into the Ultra Soft half, out of range of every defender.

    Still mostly tied down the chaos dwarfs did their best to break free and pull back towards the wayward vamps.

    Home free, all the vamp ballcarrier had to do was run it in. Though he wanted to show off for his fans. Do you feel the uh oh moment coming on. Sir Teme moved into the endzone to receive a pass. The vampire with the ball tried to pass it, bobbled at first but then got the pass off. Sir Teme thrown off by the pump fake bobble, failed to catch the ball and it ended up on teh ground on the corner of the pitch by the sideline and very close to the end zone.

    And Zharrmin Ultra Soft seize the opportunity. Hobgoblin Goldie marks a vampire, and the players of Zharrmin Ultra Soft make every attempt to fight there way free of the marks and close in on the ball. Bull centaur Tornado Papabull blitzes a vampire off the ball knocking him to the ground and marking the ball himself. One chorf blocker knocks a vamp off another and Bane Fireeyes retreats to join the fray around the ball. Khavrokh Bladebeard makes a very un-dwarf-like maneuver, dodging away from his mark and going for it double time, he tried to pick up the ball but dropped it, however it fell behind him into a much better position away from the vamp players and marked by a couple chorf players. The tide has turned!

    Now its the vampires who have to scramble to recover from a mistake. Sir Teme the Goat quickly ends their next turn with a failed dodge and Zharrmin Ultra Soft are sitting pretty, albeit way far deep into their own half and with time running out and the ball on the ground.

    The vampire's thirst continues with Teme stunning a thrall and Duke El Puki KOing another.

    With time very short, Goldie scooped the ball up and began the long dash toward the opposite endzone with Bushwacker flanking him and no Pukki Party player with any chance of stopping them.

    Soon it became clear that Goldie was too slow and so he had to hand the ball off the Bushwacker who made the final dash scoring a touchdown just before the game ended.

    2 - 0 victory! Zharrmin Ultra Soft win!