Rusty
Mega Star Player
(Willpower68; Amazon) Yellow Army vs Undead Weight (Jrpeart; Undead)
So, a coach in his first ever season in the Crunch Cup takes a brand new team of an unfancied race straight to the final to face a competition veteran, having topped his group unbeaten and squeezed through the semi-final by a single touchdown. Rings a bell, doesn't it? Crunch Cup V was notable for the only appearance thus far of Coach Danton, who seemingly came from nowhere to win it all with the Mad Missionary Mob only to vanish instantly, thereby attaining near mythical status in the eyes of both Crunch Cup fans.
But is history about to repeat itself? Four seasons on we have a new newcomer in the shape of Coach Willpower68, whose Amazon side have brushed all challengers aside on their way to the final. Well, I say all, that is perhaps unfair on Real Madread, the one team so far who have played the Yellow Army and not lost. It's been a quiet but hugely impressive run which has even included two wins over CC stalwart and pointy-ear-specialist Coach Etheric and his Elf Street Band.
One to watch: B-Cup
Though the Army's offense relies heavily on their Blitzer C-Cup with her Elven dexterity, perhaps the key player for the Amazons is her slightly less well-endowed partner. With four deaths caused, B-Cup has been so violent this season that Gunnar has started joking that she must have had an etching of Zalia on her bedroom wall as she was growing up. But not only that, she is as brave in the face of opposing strength as... well, Zalia again, and could well be a big player in the blocking battle.
WILLIAM KILL LIVEBET – B-Cup to be the only Amazon player to knock down a Mummy all game 3-1 AGAINST
Now, while it's perhaps too early to start calling Coach Willpower68 “the new Danton”, referring to his final opponent as “the new Bintz” is maybe closer to the mark. Coach Jrpeart and his Undead Weight have now made it to two Crunch Cup finals in a row, and it only remains to be seen whether they will “do a Har Ganethornication” [snappy -ed.] and win it at the second time of asking.
One to watch: Ton
As with the Army, the ball carrier for the Weight probably hogs most of the headlines [or would do if we had proper headlines -ed.]; Stone has carried for more yards than all other players on the team combined and with seven career KOs caused he isn't afraid to get stuck in when it matters too (although with seven career KOs received, maybe he should be). But... just look at that Mummy. As strong as a Treeman, but with the blocking skill of a Blitzer. Shallya's tits. Good luck girls...
WILLIAM KILL LIVEBET – Ton to pick up four or more casualties 5-1 AGAINST
However, despite the undoubted skills of Stone and Ton, it's fair to say that the Weight's run to the final has been a little less smooth and a little more... questionable than the Army's. Only reaching the playoffs by a single point thanks to a last day win over the Norsca Vikiing Liners, the Weight then racked up considerably controversy in the knockout stages after twice managing to have games restarted. While opposition supporters have accused the Weight's coach and necromancer of using dark magic (hey, we never said Blood Bowl fans were intelligent), the Courier would like to make it clear that nobody here is calling the Weight a bunch of dirty, stinking cheats – well, a bunch of cheats, anyway – not least because our own offices were involved in one of those incidents and it doesn't hurt to play safe when it comes to these matters (a crashing airship is no one's idea of good finals coverage).
WILLIAM KILL LIVEBET – Final to be mysteriously abandoned after five Weight players get injured in the first quarter of the match while conceding a defensive touchdown EVENS
As you can see, it's surely going to be a belter of a final. And, as usual, we'll have all the fallout from both the game and the competition as a whole in our season finale edition some time next week. Enjoy!
Carsten Göschen
